


Teen Mom

by blowmeharry



Category: One Direction
Genre: Alternate Universe, Children, F/M, M/M, Parenthood
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-04
Updated: 2013-01-08
Packaged: 2017-11-24 04:07:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 17
Words: 70,226
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/630205
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blowmeharry/pseuds/blowmeharry
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Louis and Eleanor gave their baby up for adoption, they never expected the new parents to be two males. They also didn’t expect Louis to fall in love with one of them.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

It was a Tuesday afternoon when Louis and Eleanor decided to give their baby up for adoption. 

It had been an unpleasant nine months filled with worries, doubts, and mostly mixed feelings, and today was just another addition. 

It began with a mistake and ended with one; the fact that two young people simply took it too far one night when the motto "yolo" may have come into play. Louis and Eleanor were both in love but had so much innocence that the reactions spawned on others was unmistakably avoidable. 

Louis had taken it to consideration to at least wear protection. Of course there was the slim chance that it wouldn't always work, and apparently the universe decided that nothing should go well for them. Eleanor found out a week later when she vomited after waking up on a typical Monday morning, totally coherent with absolutely no reason to be throwing up. She then took it consideration to get a pregnancy test which she tested positive. 

Louis, to say the least, did not take the news well. Though he'd always been good with kids, he was nowhere near ready to take care of his own baby, especially not now. And especially not with Eleanor.

They'd been together for about eight months before the tragedy. They were young, happy, and just the perfect couple. The two were fresh out of high school and their friends were all over them, constantly asking them how far they've gone and all kinds of personal stuff. And Louis and Eleanor were comfortable enough around each other to actually talk about things, that the "no sex till marriage" card wasn't difficult to discuss. 

Until that night when everything changed for the worst. 

It was more of the spur of the moment than anything, really. What had started off as an intense snog transformed into a fight of gathered hormones and heated passion, and well, it just kind of happened. 

After what had been the worst thirty-six hours of their lives, the baby was finally born; a beautiful, brown-eyed boy. Adoption arrangements had already been made, but just staring at the baby boy in Eleanor's arms, Louis was teary-eyed because that was his son we were talking about, and he was so welled up in emotion that he almost regretted their decision. 

As mentioned before, Eleanor was only eighteen while Louis was nineteen,  _way_ too young to be taking care of a baby. As much as it hurt to put their own child in somebody else’s arms, it had to be done. There was no way they could handle that kind of lifelong commitment when having only been together for so long, and Louis just wasn’t  _ready._ Louis could only imagine the pain Eleanor was going through, having to carry their baby for nine months only to have it taken away from them.

It had to be done.

There were tears, there was lots of hurt, but eventually they went through with it. Louis’ mum wasn’t very fond of the idea of having a baby as much as the next person, but even she didn’t want her grandchild to be taken to an adoption agency; however, she knew it was the best thing to do for her son.

Louis stayed at the hospital for twenty-four consecutive hours, sitting beside Eleanor as they both struggled to get through this rough patch. Though the baby was no longer with them, Eleanor was still required to stay for another day, and being the good partner Louis was, he stayed with her through it all, not wanting to leave her by herself.

Through the nine months of confusion and regret, the couple hadn’t yet decided on what to do with the baby. They knew their only options were to keep it or put it up for adoption, abortion obviously out of the question. Since they were indecisive for so long, they never really planned out their living arrangements for the future; regardless, with the mutual love they had, they saw no problem in sharing a flat.

They returned to their flat the next day, heartbreak and hurt lingering in the air as they continued to live their lives as if everything was normal. Louis could only hope people would accept their decision after waiting so long to see their baby. He could already see the hurt in their eyes when he revealed the truth, the way one’s eyes would lit up in excitement and anticipation all to be crushed by the tragic news.

It took Louis two hours to fall asleep that night, for once not feeling completely at ease even with Eleanor by his side.

A week later they received a call from the adoption service. Louis’ heart was racing, anxious to hear what they had to say. He anticipated why they had called. Were they going to allow them to see their child? Had something gone wrong?

Thankfully, none of Louis’ predictions were correct, when the call had informed them that someone had adopted their child. They were given the address of the new parents and were welcomed to visit them at any time.

The new parents’ went by the names of Harry Styles and Niall Horan. 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Louis and Eleanor gave their baby up for adoption, they never expected the new parents to be two males. They also didn’t expect Louis to fall in love with one of them.

Monday

 

“Niall! Hurry up, will you? You’re going to be late.” 

“Chill, Harry, I’ve got plenty of time.” The blonde-haired boy waved a hand in the other boy’s face, reassuring him that there was no need to worry, until he saw the time on his phone. “Shit, you’re right. I’d better go.”

“Have a great day,” Harry pecked the Irish lad on the cheek, pulling him into a tight hug. “Don’t let girls fall all over you. I don’t want a repeat of last time.”

“It wasn’t that bad. And in my defence, I was drunk!” 

“You’re always drunk,” the curly-headed boy patted Niall on the back, recalling the time when he’d walked in on his partner grinding with a random girl. It had been so awkward to have to break it up and explain that Niall was taken. 

“I’ve really gotta go,” Niall gave Harry a pleading look as he started for the front door. He looked down at the angel cradling in Harry’s arms. “Say goodbye to Danny for me?”

“Daddy says goodbye,” Harry cooed, his voice unnecessarily high-pitched and gushy, causing Niall to burst into a fit of laughter. Harry looked down at the beautiful baby, chocolate brown eyes gaping up at him, the message clear in his eyes that he was happy. Well, as happy as babies could get, he supposed. 

It had been about five months since they had brought a child into their lives. Harry and Niall had been together for about a year after spending some time experimenting with each other, since they were both considered straight before they met. Ever since they got together, things had changed and something had convinced them that they were ready for the next level. 

Marriage was obviously out of the question, since they were both too young and weren’t fond of the idea of being in a civil partnership, when they wanted the real deal. Until they had enough money saved to go to Canada, they decided on simply living together and that seemed to be enough.

“I’ll be back around two. Call if you need anything.”

“Meaning I’ll call you every fifteen minutes to check up on you.”

“I have my phone on silent for a reason,” Niall said, smirking as he pressed his hand onto the door knob, twisting it to open the door. “See ya.”

Harry settled himself onto the couch, setting Danny down on his lap after he found the remote control. He fumbled through the channels, indecisive on what to watch, since everything was either too inappropriate or too stupid for Harry’s liking. It didn’t help that Niall had blocked all the porn channels, either.

He had ended up watching Teen Mom out of sheer boredom and within twenty minutes of mindless staring at the telly, he was surprisingly still watching with actual interest, and did not proceed to yell at the characters for making their stupid mistakes, and he most certainly did not start discussing the show with Danny.

After the episode had ended, he was bored again, and had nothing left to do. How was he ever going to survive being by himself, without Niall, every weekday? He had Danny, but he was just a baby, and couldn’t really speak or do anything to truly entertain Harry. But maybe that was subject to change.

He really would miss Niall during the day, but he was going to university, and Harry wasn’t going to stop him from doing what was best for him. Harry had originally planned to go to Uni as well, but with the child needing taken care of, it became impossible for both of them to go at once, and neither of them were willing the leave their child with a stranger.

So Harry had looked into online courses. He knew it was a sacrifice to be missing out on real college, but it was only temporary, and it was a sacrifice he was willing to make for the sake of the family. Plus he’d already completed his four required years, and he still hadn’t a clue what he wanted for a career, so perhaps it was best to take a break anyway.

He looked down at the child, who was laughing when Harry smiled his crooked smile. He was just so beautiful. He had no idea what he did to deserve such a pretty thing in his life, especially considering it wasn’t technically his. Even with that thought, Harry couldn’t believe it as he looked down at the perfectly-rounded face, pink lips opened to reveal a gaping mouth smiling at him. The nose was so little that Harry started to wonder how baby’s noses all looked the same at first. The eyes were breathtaking and gorgeous, a chocolate brown mixed with small specks of gold and black, giving a perfect contrast of colour. He was just so beautiful and Harry was proud – no, proud didn’t even begin to cover it. He was grateful to even be in such a beauty’s presence, let alone calling him his own.

Harry was gushing cute comments that he had no idea he was capable of coming up with, especially on the spot, and he was swaying his body back and forth, attempting to get Danny to fall asleep. The movement was so careful and relaxing that Harry was starting to get tired himself. Normally he wouldn’t have woken up at such an early hour, but he wanted to be up to say goodbye to Niall… and Danny had started crying and it was Harry’s turn to deal with him.

And then a loud knock disturbed the silence and caused Danny to go into a fit of tears. After Harry had shushed the child the best he could, he set him down in his crib, and went to answer the door.

He nearly tripped himself on the way, cursing silently as he held onto the doorknob for support to keep himself from losing his balance again. He didn’t bother looking through the peek hole and yanked the door open. And then he swore the next moment was the death of him. 

Harry wasn’t going to lie and say this man was very handsome, but he was most definitely going to hide the fact that he’d forgotten he was taken when he made contact with the bright blue orbs. He did a quick scan of the man, who was wearing red skinnies with a striped black and blue shirt which clung to his slim waist. All in all, everything was aligned perfectly to match his lean and slender body, and damn, he had nice legs. This was all nothing in comparison to his face. His body was not only muscled, well toned as far as he could tell, but he had a tan complexion that also showed on his face, the perfect display. The full pink lips were what caught him at first. His nose, his eyes, his cerulean blue eyes, and everything, ugh, everything about him was too attractive to be real. 

“Hello?” Harry’s head shook as he made eye contact with the man, the soft, slightly high-pitched, velvety voice catching him off guard, causing his head to spin at the angelic sound. “I think this is the wrong place, sorry for bothering you…”

“No, no, sorry, I got a bit distracted,” Harry apologised, biting his lip down to avoid saying anything more to further embarrass himself.

“Are you Niall Horan or Harry Styles?” 

He frowned. “I’m Harry…” It then came to his attention that he had spend this whole time admiring this guy’s looks and hadn’t even considered his intentions with him. “Wait, how do you know us?” 

“My name is Louis Tomlinson, I’m your baby’s father.” 

Harry’s eyes nearly bulged out of his head and he had to lean against the doorframe to avoid falling over, because he was just so surprised. “Oh? Uh… why don’t you, uh, come inside?” 

His invitation was a bit rushed and Harry was surprised Louis hadn’t changed his mind and left. The man stepped inside the house, his eyes scanning the area for a few seconds, and then he proceeded to take off his shoes. TOMS on a guy… Interesting, thought Harry as he sat himself down on the couch closest to the door. Louis had settled down on the other couch, not looking the most comfortable, if Harry was going to be honest with himself. 

“So, Louis,” Harry spoke, testing the way his name sounded on his tongue. “I’m going to take a wild guess and assume you came to see Danny, right?” 

Louis raised an eyebrow but then his expression immediately faltered into a look of approval, followed by a nod. 

“Be right back.” 

Harry power-walked to the baby’s room and picked him up carefully, heading back to the living room to see Louis fiddling around with a photo frame in his hands. 

He was about to shoot him a questioning look when Louis spoke, obviously aware of Harry’s presence. “Is that Niall?” 

Harry nodded, knowing which picture he was looking at. It was one of him and Niall hanging out at a beach last summer. They had asked someone to take their picture and it had somehow turned out well enough to be put on display. 

Louis’ attention was now on the baby in Harry’s arms. He shot Harry what looked to be a pleading look as if to ask “can I hold him?” and Harry found himself handing the handsome stranger his child without a second thought. 

“Wow, you’re really good with kids,” Harry found himself saying after watching Louis play with Danny for about five minutes. Actually, he didn’t want to admit it, let alone think it, but the way Louis got along with Danny was incredible and not to mention absolutely, fucking adorable, but that might’ve been since he was the father. 

“So I’ve been told,” Louis scoffed, running a hand through his wavy, caramel-coloured locks. 

Harry also noticed how much Danny’s features resembled Louis’, and maybe that was why Harry was so pleased by the man’s looks. The man was just pretty and it was unnatural to say that about another man and the guilt was seeping through him for even thinking that because that’s when his mind went back to Niall. 

Then the soft voice snapped him out of his thoughts. “Do you mind if I come back later? With Eleanor?” 

“Your girlfriend?”

Louis nodded and Harry couldn’t help but feel a sense of disappointment but he couldn’t put a finger on why. 

“Yeah, of course,” Harry finally responded after remembering that Louis was still waiting for an answer. 

“I’d better go, she’ll kill me if I’m not back by noon.” He almost sounded upset. Just almost. 

Harry eyed the man carefully, trying to figure out what he was hiding behind those words. “It’s still only ten, why don’t you stay a little longer?” 

“I wouldn’t want to impose…” 

“You wouldn’t be imposing, trust me. Niall’s at Uni until two and I’m stuck with Danny until then. I could use a bit of help actually, to be honest.” Harry blushed, still not sure of the real reason he wanted this man to stay so desperately. 

Louis’ eyes wandered the room for a moment and he finally sighed, sitting back down on the couch. “I guess I could stay for a little bit.” 

Harry grinned, satisfied with the answer. He tried not to look too eager when he left Danny with Louis to go into the kitchen and fetch the two of them some tea.

Louis ended up staying way past noon and time really had flown by as their conversations grew more relaxed, starting off as simple questions about the baby to the most random questions, even the stupid ones, like asking their favourite colours. 

“But really, orange and brown do not go well.” 

“Nothing really goes well with brown,” Harry agreed, patting Danny on the face. Over the past two hours, the boys had somehow ended up sitting next to each other on the couch, and a little too close to be honest, but they were too preoccupied with the conversation to really care. 

“This is some good tea.”

“Thanks, I made it,” Harry admitted and Louis shot him a look that indicated he was impressed and Harry actually had to try to hide the satisfied feeling.

“Yeah, El’s definitely gonna murder me,” Louis said after pulling out his phone to check the time. 

“No offence,” Harry stifled a giggle, “but doesn’t that seem a bit clingy?” 

Louis shrugged, pushing himself further back on the couch, making it apparent that he wasn’t planning on leaving anytime soon. “She doesn’t like being left alone these days. After having the baby and all, you know. It’s hard.”

Harry stiffened, suddenly feeling bad for making accusations without even considering that she had been the one to hold the baby for nine months, and then having to watch him be snatched away from her. 

“Why did you put him up for adoption in the first place?” 

“The obvious reasons being we’re too young and so not ready to bring a child in our lives,” Louis answered quickly, as if he knew just what to say. In fact, he always seemed to know what to say. 

Harry nodded in understanding. “And how old are you again?” 

“I’ll be twenty soon.” 

Harry looked down in shame, trying to understand why that wasn’t appropriate enough to have a child at that age. Granted Harry and Niall were both twenty-two, that was still only two years more than Louis’ situation, and if Louis couldn’t handle the responsibility, what had made Harry think he could handle having a child at such a young age? 

“I know you’re thinking that I’m probably stupid for just backing out of this opportunity, but it really is true that Eleanor and I really just can’t handle it. I don’t know if it’s just that we’re not ready, or if I don’t want to deal with more conflict in my life, but… we’re not the same as you and Niall.” Then Harry really began paying attention to what Louis had to say. “I’ve not even met the man, but judging from that picture, you two look like you were meant to be.”

“What are you trying to say?” Harry looked at Louis with a frown, confused with all the words suddenly thrown at him. There were many things he didn’t notice in that moment. He didn’t notice that he had been sitting so close to the boy that their legs were brushing against each other’s, sending a warm sensation through Harry. He didn’t notice the intensity of Louis’ eyes as they pierced into his and he most certainly didn’t notice the door flying open. 

~

“Daddy’s home!” An Irish accent echoed in the living room, as a boy with feathered blonde hair skipped onto the couch, planting himself next to Harry, greeting him with a kiss. Then he looked at Louis, suddenly aware of the stranger’s presence. And surprisingly, he was quiet relaxed with the idea of a stranger holding his child. “Who’s this?”

“Oh, this is Louis. Danny’s real dad,” Harry spoke for Louis, as if he were trying to prove something. There was an edge to that voice that Louis couldn’t interpret.

“Oh! It’s so nice to meet you,” Niall gushed, shaking hands with Louis. “Do you want anything? Tea? Beer?”

“No thanks. I actually really need to get going,” Louis confessed, remembering that he’d been here for nearly five hours, which was hard to believe when it had only felt like two.

Niall and Harry both looked disappointed, and as much as Louis wanted to say, he felt like he was intruding on their lives and that was the last thing he wanted. That and there was something really strange about Harry that – he didn’t even know how to finish that thought. It was best to leave, at least for now.

“I’ll be back later with Eleanor,” he added, setting Danny in Niall’s arms. He then smiled, looking at how adorable the couple looked with the baby. “It’s been great meeting you, I have no doubt that you two will be perfect parents.”

Niall grinned bashfully, and Harry had began smiling too, and was that a dimple?

“Thank you, uh, Louis?” Niall made sure that he pronounced it right.

Louis left the flat that he’d grown comfortable to being in, and the minute he walked out into the cold he realised he’d forgotten his car keys on the coffee table. He knocked again, and nobody answered. He was growing impatient and unintentionally began pulling the door open, the sight of Niall and Harry on top of each other causing his body to go warm, but it wasn’t a good feeling, he could tell you that.

They seemed to acknowledge him by pulling away, both of them giving Louis a quizzical look, and he was going to be honest, they both looked a bit annoyed.

“I, uh, left my keys.” Louis bent over to pick his car keys off the table, giving neither of the boys eye contact. He smiled sheepishly at the two of them, and began heading to the door. “Sorry… bye.”

He drove back to his place swiftly, but carefully, since the Saturday traffic in Doncaster was surprisingly low, but his legs were shaking for no apparent reason. Maybe he was just a little shaky from having to walk in on such an intimate moment. Louis convinced himself of that as he slid the key into the keyhole, opening the door to his flat.

Eleanor was curled up in a blanket on the couch, the telly flashing colours on her face since the room was dark. Louis sighed, moving to open the blinds, and Eleanor had to blink a few times to adjust to the brightness.

“What are you watching?”

“Teen Mom…”

Louis knew exactly what that show was about, if the title didn’t already give it away. He snatched the remote from Eleanor’s hands and changed the channel quickly to a football match.

“Louis!”

“This isn’t helping with anything,” Louis explained, planting himself on the couch next to Eleanor.

“I missed you,” she said leaning her head against Louis’ shoulder. “Where were you?”

“I told you, I went to visit the new parents.”

“How did that go?”

Louis shrugged, fixing his shirt since it had began to pull itself up Louis’ torso. “They seemed nice. They were younger than I thought.”

Eleanor paused for a brief moment. “How was the baby?”

“They named him Danny. I personally think it suits him,” Louis gave his opinion. “They seem like good people. I have no doubts they’ll take good care of him.” Louis noticed his lack of adjectives, but for some reason, he didn’t find the need to impress Eleanor, which was… odd.

“I want to meet them.” And by that, Louis knew she really meant to say ‘I want to see my baby’.

“I told them we’d come by again later,” Louis assured her. “Relax, El. Everything’s okay.”

Eleanor sighed, grabbing the remote from her boyfriend’s hands. “I hate football.” And Louis wasn’t going to bother arguing with her as she turned back to the unwanted channel, so he left the couch, leaving her by herself.

He headed to his room where he rested his head on his pillow, pulling out his phone to erase the fourteen messages, which were all calls and texts from Eleanor demanding where he was, and all in all, as Harry had said, very clingy.

He then proceeded to lay there for a matter of minutes, trying not to think about Harry’s emerald orbs and the way they had stared into his soul.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Louis and Eleanor gave their baby up for adoption, they never expected the new parents to be two males. They also didn’t expect Louis to fall in love with one of them.

Tuesday

 

From the moment he awoke by the alarming sound of wailing, Harry just knew today wasn’t going to go well.

He didn’t even feel want to get out of bed that morning, and he had tried to sleep as long as he could. He eventually got up around ten o’clock by the sounds coming from the baby monitor, a gentle reminder that he had a baby to take care of.

Harry wasn’t terrible with babies, but if it was one thing he despised about them, it was having to change their diapers. Not only did it disgust him, but it was too much work to have to do it every so often. But Danny had yet to be potty-trained, so Harry would just have to deal with it for now.

He managed to keep himself entertained for the rest of the day, spending most of his time crouched up on the couch with his laptop, watching YouTube videos, and he even made time to Skype his old friend Liam since they hadn’t talked in quite some time. He ended the conversation by promising that they would hang out soon to catch up on each other’s lives.

Harry had to work today. He had gotten a part-time job as a cashier at Tai Sun, and even though he could probably do better considering he had completed four years of college, he felt minimum wage was enough to get them by for now. Plus with the baby and all, he already had too much on his plate to stress over a full-time job.

When Niall made it home, Harry had prepared steak and potatoes for the entire family. Sometimes he thought it was funny how he was the one who could cook, and Niall was the one who loved food. They were pretty much the perfect match.

Thoughts of Louis flashed into his mind, and Harry remembered that Louis had even said that they were meant to be. And yet, why had Harry felt so unnerved when he’d said that?

“I was thinking,” Niall spoke after swallowing a bite of meat. “We should get a play pen, y’know, for Danny to play in?”

Harry nodded his head, putting the idea into consideration. “Sounds good.”

“I’m tired,” the Irish lad announced after pushing his plate towards the center of the table, an indication that he was full. “I’m gonna take a power nap. Join me?”

“Sorry, gotta get ready for work,” Harry shot him a smirk, and Niall mumbled a series of unintelligible words as he headed into their bedroom. Harry’s eyes went to Danny who was sitting in his highchair, all of the apple sauce they had tried to feed him now all over the tabletop and covering his face.

“Looks like someone made a mess.” Harry chuckled at the sight as he grabbed a napkin and prompted to clean the goo off Danny’s face, laughing through the process. 

He had walked over to the trashcan to dispose of the napkins when the ringing of the doorbell caused him to jump, and right away he knew exactly who it was, remembering that Louis had said Eleanor and him were coming to visit soon. He just didn’t know how soon.

The door swung open to reveal the couple standing on the front porch, both of their faces beaming at him. He felt a slight shudder in his body when he eyed Louis. Overnight he had convinced himself that the man wasn’t that attractive but now that Harry was seeing him again, he was so, so wrong because Louis was just so-

“Hello,” Louis greeted him, slamming a brake on his thoughts. “Eleanor, this is Harry. Harry, Eleanor.” He gestured to the young lady next to him, looking to be about seventeen or eighteen. She had brown hair parted down the middle and her brown eyes had some familiarity to it.

“He has your eyes,” he found himself blurting, then Eleanor frowned at him, and he shook his head at how random he had sounded. “Danny. He got his eyes from you.”

“Oh.” Then she looked down, and Harry tried to read her expression but found it difficult to do so. “Can I see him?”

“’Course,” Harry extended the door to let the couple inside the house, holding it open for them. Once they had all settled into the doorway, he hollered into the hallway, “Oi, Niall! We have company!”

From the distance Harry heard the distinct sound of what could be identified as Niall groaning followed by the mumbling of words which Harry was able to make out as “fuck off”.

“Well, looks like Niall won’t be joining us,” Harry said with a shrug as he wandered over to the highchair where Danny sat, still fumbling around with his apple sauce. “I apologise for the mess, Danny mistook his lunch for a bath.”

Surprisingly Louis actually laughed. And ohmygod, it was like music to Harry’s ears and he was just thankful he was turned the other direction so his idiotic grin was hidden from them.

He picked Danny off his high hair and speculated who he should hand him to. He ended up giving the baby to Eleanor, since she was the mother and with that fact, he could obviously trust her with him. 

The minute Danny was in Eleanor's arms, Harry saw her smile for the first time. He looked back at Louis and then Eleanor and then he saw the resemblance right away. The two of them really did look like Danny. 

"He's so cute," Eleanor gushed, playing with his fingers, her face now fully dazed, totally mesmerised by the baby. She stared at him adoringly, then after a period of time, handed him to Louis.

Louis cradled the baby in his arms, and Harry couldn't stop himself from staring at the beauty captured in the comfort of his own home. It just looked like Danny belonged there, and Harry couldn't explain it. It was truly a beautiful sight, and Harry couldn't explain why or how he trusted Louis with his son so easily. Louis just seemed like that kind of person that he could easily trust. 

"Hi." 

Harry turned to the direction of the halls to see a sleepy Niall heading over to him, sitting down next to Louis on the couch, stifling a yawn. 

"I'm Niall," he introduced himself, his voice a bit groggy since he had just woken from his sleeping state.

"I'm Eleanor," she smiled at the Irish man. "This is Louis." 

"We've met," Niall's eyes hovered at the man, who was smiling back at him. "He stopped by yesterday." 

"I know."

"Can I get you anything to drink?" Niall offered, moving to the edge of the couch, ready to stand up. 

“Tea would be nice, thanks,” Louis responded almost immediately and Eleanor had shot him a look as if to say ‘wow, way to intrude’.

Without even waiting for Eleanor’s reply, Harry was already in the kitchen, pouring the brown substance from the teapot into a glass for Louis. Within seconds, he was already heading back to the living room, a cup of tea with a jar of sugar cubes in hand. He didn’t know why, but he just felt the need to please Louis.

Louis thanked him with a smile, and Harry most certainly did not melt under that gaze. Then he felt Niall slip an arm around his waist, and his mind snapped back to reality, making him feel stupid for those last five minutes, and if he was going to be honest, a little guilty.

They all sat in the living room, taking turns with playing with the baby. It was all small talk, but in comparison to how it had been with only Harry and Louis yesterday, this was just too awkward and uncomfortable, and Harry couldn’t figure out why.

Harry checked the time, seeing that it was nearing three o'clock and he had to work at four, and with his calculations, it would take him about thirty minutes to get there.

"I'm sorry to be rash, but I really need to get going soon," Harry confessed, stealing a glance at Louis who almost looked disappointed. "Niall will still be here, so feel free to stay.”

"We actually need to go soon too," Eleanor butted in, and Louis had shot her a panicked look, almost as if he didn't want to leave. "This has been great. I wish you the best." She smiled at the two men, grabbing on Louis' hand as she led him to the door. 

"Thank you," Niall responded, but looked a bit confused, probably just as surprised as Harry that they were in such a hurry to leave. 

~

"Danny though. What’s that short for? Daniel?”

“I think it’s cute,” Louis said with a shrug.

“I'm just saying, his name just doesn't do him justice." 

"Calm down, El, will ya? He's not even our baby anymore." Louis rolled his eyes in irritation after tossing his keys on the kitchen table. 

"Oh he's not?" Eleanor put her hands on her hips, crossing her arms. "So giving birth to him, carrying him for nine fucking months, wasn't enough? I can't consider him my son now?" 

"Oh my God," Louis ran his hand over his face, completely annoyed at his girlfriend. "I never said that. I'm just saying that we're no longer responsible for him." 

Eleanor inhaled and exhaled slowly, her eyes looking down for a brief second, and when they shot up to meet Louis', they were filled with tears. "Why did we even do this?" 

"El, please don't start this. You know we weren't ready." 

"You weren’t! You never even asked what I thought about it!" 

Louis breathed deeply. He couldn't believe they were discussing this again. "You know better than I do that we spent hours talking before we made the final decision. Stop trying to make me the bad guy,” he tried to say without sounding too sassy. “We're done talking about this. It's official, he's with Harry and Niall now." 

"But he's our son! He should be with his parents. Not them!" 

"What's wrong with them?" Louis defended, suddenly offended by her tone when she spoke of Niall and Harry. "I think they make a lovely couple and are very capable of taking care of him."

"How can you possibly know that? Yeah, sure they seem nice and all but that doesn't mean they know how to handle children." At this point, Louis had opened the fridge since he was hungry and ready to blow this over with some alcohol. If it was one thing he couldn’t stand about Eleanor, it was their fights. "Plus, they're guys. Do you really think that's best for our son?" 

"Wait, what?" He slammed the fridge shut and flipped around, his stomach suddenly doing flips. He couldn't believe Eleanor had actually said that. "Did you just - Really?" 

She just stared at him, and that simply made Louis all the angrier. 

He paced the kitchen for what seemed like forever, trying to contemplate how she had arrived at that conclusion, and what was so wrong about it. There wasn't anything wrong with having two dads, was there? 

It made Louis furious that his girlfriend had been homophobic this whole time and he had failed to notice. Maybe because the subject never actually came up until now. 

His head was spinning and his heart was racing and he couldn’t construe his words. His thought process went a little like ican’tbelievemyowngirlfriendishomophobicwhatthefuckamisupposedtodonow and he had no clue how to put that into words. He finally settled on pushing himself past Eleanor to grab his keys off the counter. He fell speechless when his eyes met Eleanor’s and if he wasn’t already furious enough, he decided he’d had enough.

The minute he made it outside, he flipped open his phone and clicked on his best friend’s number, the only number he had on speed dial. It was time he actually talked to someone. This was getting too insane, even for him.

“Louis?”

“Zayn!” Louis shouted into the phone, thankful that he’d picked up. “Okay so I know it’s been forever since we’ve hung out and it’s kinda sudden and all, but do you mind if I come over or something?”

“What happened?”

Louis mentally swore at himself, knowing that Zayn was the one friend that always knew when something was wrong. Either that or he had just been really obvious when trying to make plans.

“I’ll explain later. Right now I’m just really pissed and I don’t really have anywhere else to go,” Louis told him with complete honesty, now fully aware of how stupid he looked standing outside his own apartment talking on the phone.

He heard Zayn sigh. “I’ll be there in ten.”

The sound of Zayn setting a glass in front of Louis would have normally caused him to jump at the sudden noise, since Zayn’s place was serene and quiet, but the anger boiling in his blood and his lack of motivation to relax had already set him off that he couldn’t be bothered with anything else.

The ride to Zayn’s house wasn’t that bad. The radio was playing the minute he sat down, and he had turned it off immediately since it was totally not appropriate for the mood. Louis and Zayn hardly said a word to each other until they left the car and Zayn had asked Louis why he suddenly wanted to hang out. Of course, Louis ignored him and dove straight for the kitchen, demanding that Zayn got him something to drink, remembering that Zayn was known for his alcohol.

Zayn poured the thick yellow liquid into the glass and Louis drank it down immediately, wanting all his stress and worries to just disappear. Louis wasn’t a heavy drinker; in fact, he hadn’t drank in months. He hardly even got drunk outside of parties, but for the first time in a long time, he felt the need to drink his problems away.

Zayn’s eyebrows had risen at Louis’ sudden compulsiveness to finish his glass of beer and it became quite obvious that there was indeed something wrong. Zayn began by clearing his throat to get his friend’s attention and when Louis finally looked at him, Zayn’s soft expression showed genuine concern and his curiosity was practically screaming to be noticed.

“Everything’s just so hard, y’know? The baby, Eleanor, ugh. Eleanor…” Louis droned on, his thoughts getting hazy, and suddenly he wasn’t so upset anymore. “She’s just, you know, really moody. Oh, and she hates gays too. Yeah, the new parents are and that’s how I found out.”

Zayn remained silent for a matter of seconds, probably trying to put together Louis’ words, which would normally have some kind of organisation to it. “It’s normal to freak out over this, Lou. You and Eleanor both. Nobody said this was going to be easy.”

“But why?” Louis droned on that last word, his voice now sounding almost bratty. “Why can’t everything just go back to normal?” Most importantly, why was Zayn staying neutral about this when he was supposed to be taking Louis’ side?

“Give it some time. It will eventually.”

Louis moved his glass closer to his friend, insisting that he get a refill. Zayn gave in right away, even though he knew it would only make it harder to take Louis seriously in this conversation.

“You drink too, Zayn. Let’s get drunk together.”

Zayn almost laughed at the invitation, simply the way he had said it being so blunt and ridiculous, and of course Zayn couldn’t resist the offer.

Louis lost track of how many drinks he’d had and it didn’t take long for his upset mood to falter, and now everything seemed hilarious to him. He wasn’t too wasted, just a nice buzz to keep him from thinking. Zayn wasn’t very coherent as well, the two of them now sprawled over the couch talking and laughing over absolutely nothing.

“So tell me about… uh… you know, the parents?” Zayn insisted.

“Wellll…” Louis started, a giggle surpassing his lips for no apparent reason. “They’re really cool and one of them’s got nice hair, oh nice eyes too, oh and a nice face, and,” he paused to burst into a fit of laughter, “yeah, and he’s really funny and it’s a shame he’s taken because he’s really cute…”

“You fancy him, Lou?”

Louis shook his head more times than necessary, the motion causing him to get a little dizzy. “He’s just so pretty, y’know? I’m not like gay or anything but like…” He giggled again, pulling the glass to his lips again.

“But what about Eleanor?”

“What about her?” Louis continued to laugh, his head now spinning, his sides hurting from laughing too hard. Then he realised what Zayn had said. “Oh, oh, Eleanor. Yeah, you’re right. Sorry.”

Zayn poured more liquid into his glass and took a sip, his legs wrapped around Louis’ comfortably. He was now swaying back and forth as if there was music playing.

“So Zayn,” Louis murmured in a low tone, trying to sound seductive. “Anyone tickle your fancy?”

“Nope.” Zayn popped the “p” then moved his head so it was leaning against Louis’ shoulder. “Unless a little someone is interested, eh?”

Louis winked, wrapping his arm around Zayn. “You know it, babe.”

It wasn’t unusual for them to act so affectionate around each other, considering Zayn wasn’t completely straight, and they were simply too close to be anything but platonic. But it wasn’t too often that they were drunk enough to really bring out their affectionate behaviour.

“Ever had sex with a guy?” Louis asked Zayn out of pure curiosity, knowing that since he was bisexual, he must have experimented before.

Zayn shot him a look that basically said ‘are you stupid? of course I have’ and then he shifted his body closer to Louis’ in a suggestive manner.

“How does it feel?” Louis found himself asking.

“Wouldn’t you like to know."

Louis now so incoherent that he had no idea what he was saying, and with the hazy thoughts in his head, he didn’t bother even thinking of how his words affected Zayn. He simply brushed it off in hopes that his friend was just as wasted.

He shot Zayn a dashing smirk, wrapping his arms around his neck. “I would actually.”

Surprisingly Zayn pushed himself further down the couch uncomfortably, chuckling at his friend. “Why don’t you ask – what was his name? Harry? Bet he’d love to fuck you.”

Louis laughed it off, but felt a tug in his lower stomach and an uncomfortable feeling as something tightened in his pants, something that hadn’t occurred in such a long time.

Zayn’s eyes did a quick scan of Louis’ current condition and he scoffed. “And apparently the feeling is mutual.”

Louis continued laughing, the situation not coming off as awkward or anything, but maybe that was just the alcohol.

“At least I can get a boner,” he retorted at his friend, the comment so random that it didn’t even make sense.

“Are you sure that’s not from looking at me?”

“Well you are quite sexy. And mysterious,” Louis bit his lip down suggestively, as he proceeded to knot his hands in Zayn’s hair, playing around with his quiff, until Zayn made him stop by ‘spilling’ some of his beer into Louis’ hair.

“My tousled locks! How could you?!”

“Don’t look so offended. They needed a good wash anyhow.”

Louis smacked a pillow in his friend’s face, then fell back onto the couch, his body finally giving in to exhaustion. “Urghhh,” he groaned, dropping his legs onto Zayn’s lap. “I’m tireddd.”

“No more beer for Louis then?”

Louis shook his head quickly, then groaned as his head started to ache, the feeling of his buzz starting to disappear and quickly harbouring a hangover. “Too soon, too soon...”

He opened his eyes to see Zayn drinking more beer, except this time he was taking it straight from the bottle.

“Zayn, that’s not good for you...”

“Like you’re my fucking mum.”

“Like I’m fucking your mum? What?!” Louis gasped.

Zayn shoved another pillow at his friend’s face. “Shut the fuck up.”

The next few minutes, to Louis it felt like hours, were spent fighting to stay awake. Louis’ eyes were rolling back into his head as he struggled to keep his eyes open, though he wasn’t sure why he even bothered. His mind had lost control of his every action at this point and he didn’t know when he had blacked out until he felt something caught in his throat and his eyes flew open, rushing immediately to the bathroom.

Louis strew open the toilet, and dropped his body down on the ground where he proceeded to hold his stomach while the contents poured into the toilet, a terrible pain as the acids surpassed his throat. He sank onto the ground, leaning his body against the wall, and groaned. He instantly regretted ever choosing to get drunk in the first place, but he felt even more pain when it recalled his reasons for doing so.

He exited the bathroom and walked – more like limped actually – into Zayn’s bedroom where his friend had crouched into a fetal position, his body wrapping around the corner of his bed on the floor, all in all, a very awkward position and if Louis wasn’t in such a foul mood, he’d probably be laughing.

His eyes found the clock which read 8:25 and the light coming from outside told him that it eight in the morning, that he’d stayed overnight at Zayn’s.

He rushed to leave but right away, he noticed the slight breeze in his lower body. He didn’t know how or when or why it had happened, but for some bizarre reason, Louis was missing his pants. He started to get worried, his mind filling with endless scenarios, until he found his skinnies piled up inside the hot tub.

He didn’t even bother questioning how it had gotten there. He flew to the door, ready to leave, but then images of Eleanor flashed into his mind and it struck him that he didn’t want to deal with that again.

Regardless, Louis ended up inside his car at eight in the morning, feeling like shit I might add, driving to who knows where. He didn’t care where he went as long as he was anywhere but home. It didn’t strike him that he could have just stayed at Zayn’s but he felt it would be too awkward to deal with them both being hung-over. So it was easier to leave now.

Unknowingly, he had somehow ended up on Harry and Niall’s driveway. He dragged his body out of the driver’s seat, latching the door behind him, and steadied his body before heading to the door. Questions filled his mind, demanding why he was even here, but he ignored every thought as he pressed his finger to the doorbell.

Louis waited patiently for the door to open, suddenly remembering that it wasn’t only Harry that lived here. It was a moment of regret before the door flew open, the young man standing before him.

“Louis?” His voice was gravelly and rough, as if he’d just woken up, and oh my goodness, it was so deep and husky that even in Louis’ shitty condition, the sound made him melt.

“Hey.” Louis tried to smile. His eyes scanned over the other boy, and he couldn’t believe he hadn’t noticed it before, but Harry was fucking shirtless, his open chest now the center of Louis’ attention and he had no idea to deal with that because Harry was just so toned and gorgeous.

“You look like shit.”

Well, Louis hadn’t expected Harry to say that, although that was the truth. With his wrinkled clothes, his hair sticky with beer, and let’s not even get started with his face. The bags under his eyes were only the first indication that his hangover had only just begun.

Then the boy grabbed onto Louis’ hand, pulling him inside the house, swiftly but carefully. Harry released his hand, and Louis nearly fell over the minute he stepped inside. It was quiet and much cleaner than Zayn’s house and suddenly Louis just wanted to lie down.

Harry pointed to the couch, gesturing to the other boy to lay there. By the time Louis was comfortable on the piece of furniture, Harry was walking to him with blankets in hand.

“Here.” Harry took the time to spread each of the blankets individually on Louis’ body, and the way Harry had moved his hands across the blankets, over Louis’ chest to smooth the blankets out, caused Louis’ breathing to constrict at the touch. Harry then sat back on the ground, his green eyes flashing with concern, and Louis had the sudden urge to touch his face. He mentally slapped himself as a gentle reminder that he needed to stop this. Of course, it was only that he was feeling horrible and Harry taking care of him that was bringing about these thoughts. But even then, he questioned himself for the umpteenth time why he was even here in the first place.

“You okay there?”

Louis nodded, shutting his eyes to stop his mind from thinking, which didn’t really help.

He opened them a minute later when he felt Harry’s presence again. He had returned carrying what looked to be aspirin in his hands, along with a glass of water. Louis took the meds, wanting desperately to feel better already.

Harry had positioned himself on the edge of the couch, peering down at the exhausted boy. “That must have been some party, yeah?”

Louis let out a groan. “Far from it.”

Harry seemed to understand. “Do you wanna talk about it?”

Instead of responding like a normal person, Louis jumped out of the covers, flying to the hallway in search of a bathroom. He thought he heard Harry holler “to the left!” and then followed his orders, knocking the door open, throwing himself in front of the toilet. Bile flew out of his mouth and he tried his very best to aim for the toilet.

He heard footsteps behind him but all he could think was “everything sucks” as he continued to vomit.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Louis and Eleanor gave their baby up for adoption, they never expected the new parents to be two males. They also didn’t expect Louis to fall in love with one of them.

Harry leaned against the doorframe watching as the younger boy’s head bobbed, taking turns puking violently into the toilet. It scared Harry to see him in so much pain and after Louis had calmed down a bit, he moved into the bathroom quietly. He sat down next to Louis on the ground, his hands patting his back in an effort to soothe him. It would be foolish to ask if he was okay with his obvious condition.

A groan left Louis’ lips, his head rocking back in agony. His eyes had snapped shut, his mouth clasped open, releasing slow and steady breaths. Harry continued to stare at the younger boy, his eyes stirred with concern, curious as to how he had gotten into this state. His first assumption was a party that had gone too far, except that Louis had denied that. It was clear that Louis had been drunk, the hangover the most obvious factor as well as the smell of alcohol lingering from his skin.

Harry could relate to Louis; he’d been drunk before. But his reasons more for drinking the stress away rather than partying, which was something he hardly did anymore. Maybe Louis had been drinking to feel forget about something, but Harry couldn’t see why considering how perfect Louis’ life seemed.

He stayed by his friend’s side – they were friends now, right? – until Louis was able to get up on his feet again. Harry led him down the hallway, their feet dragging across the ground, slowly making their way into Harry’s bedroom. He decided that the least he could do is offer him his bed since the couch wasn’t the most comfortable place to rest.

Harry couldn’t get over the alarmed expression on the boy’s face at the invitation, but perhaps he should’ve phrased it differently. Although there wasn’t really anything wrong with saying “You can sleep in my bed” but maybe it sounded a bit promiscuous. 

Louis had now settled into the duvet, blankets wrapped over his body, reaching the top of his neck. His eyes closed for a brief second, seeing the boy in such ease making Harry tired himself. After all, he had been sleeping before Louis had come over unexpectedly. And it bothered Harry that he still didn’t know why Louis had come, not that it mattered.

“Harry...”

Harry’s head shot up, the caramel-coloured hair boy’s eyes flashing with colours reflecting the bright light from outside. The sight was all just strange and yet so beautiful at the same time. Here was this boy who was a stranger before yesterday, and now he was sleeping in Harry’s bed. Of course, it wasn’t like there was anything going on other than that, considering Harry was still standing a foot away from the bed, but it almost seemed to intimate for people who had just met.

He was just helping him, that was all. It was clear that Louis had come here for that, right? He could have just gone home actually, unless... Then Harry realised that maybe Louis’ life wasn’t as perfect as he made it out to be. And then a name popped into his mind, giving him all the answers he needed.

Eleanor.

Harry wouldn’t go as far as saying that he hated her, but there was something about her that made him not like her. And he wasn’t sure what it was that brought about that opinion, and maybe he’d just been women deprived for too long that he’d began to really see gender differences.

No, it wasn’t that. There was something else.

But what brought Eleanor into Harry’s mind in the first place? Was she possibly the one at fault here? Perhaps they had a fight and Louis was avoiding her. Something along those lines. Why else would he be here?

“Harry,” Louis repeated, this time making Harry lapse completely back to reality. He moved his arms over his head, muscles visible as he stretched, his body correlating with the movement, the sound of sheets being shuffled when Louis repositioned himself. Then he looked... nervous? “Are you sure this is okay?” he began, looking for approval. “I mean, I’m sorry for just intruding like this, it’s just I didn’t really have anywhere else to go, and I didn’t want to deal with Zayn and coming here seemed like a good idea-”

Harry cut off his rambling. “It’s totally fine. Seriously,” he tried to assure the boy who still looked overly nervous. “Niall won’t be home until two, you can stay until then.” And for some reason that sounded like “Niall can’t know about this” and Harry hated the guilt he was suddenly left with. 

“Okay.”

Harry was leaving the room to give the guy some privacy, but stopped when he eyed the remote control sitting next to the telly. He handed it to Louis who just stared him. “In case you get bored,” Harry said with a shrug, starting to head out. “I’ll be in the living room if you need me.”

“Harry, wait.”

He turned back, shooting Louis a curious look, which should have indicated he was impatient, but Harry really was wondering why Louis had stopped him from leaving.

Louis’ hand went to the base of his neck, rubbing it in a casual fashion, then his attention went back to Harry. “I, uh – just wanted to say thank you.”

“No problem.” Harry’s face flushed at the flattery, not to be confused by the warm expression the other boy was wearing.

Harry checked up on Danny one last time before setting off in his own separate way into the living room. He had grabbed a blanket from Danny’s room, a velvety-red cloth lying on the furniture. He sprawled the blanket over his long, slender body, rolling to his side, and wow. He hadn’t lied when he said the couch wasn’t the most comfortable place to rest. It was far from comfortable, providing him little to no support, but for some bizarre reason, Harry didn’t seem to mind.

He felt more at ease, remembering that he’d given up his bed for Louis, his friend who had a greater need for sleep. He was filled with giddiness, telling himself that he was simply feeling accomplishment from helping a friend.

It was the perfect moment to fall asleep if it hadn’t been for the distinct cries from the distance. Harry groaned, dragging – literally dragging – himself from the couch to the ground. He snuck past the rooms in the hall, careful when he passed his, not wanting to wake up the other boy.

Danny was lying in his crib, cries surpassing his mouth, the shrilling sound coming off a nuisance to Harry, especially considering it had been so silent before. Harry pressed a hand to his eye, rubbing the sleep away. He peered down into the crib, where his son continued to wail and kick, and Harry just wished he knew why he was crying. More-so why he was choosing now to cry.

“Shh...” Harry tried his best to get Danny’s cries to stop, holding him in his arms, swaying back and forth slowly until the baby’s panting returned to normal, steady breathing. Harry set Danny back in his crib, wrapping the small cloth around his tiny body, smiling at the silence that had surfaced.

It wasn’t until after he had returned to the couch (he had even gotten comfortable) that he found it difficult to fall back asleep and gave up doing so after spending thirty minutes trying to get his mind to shut off.

Instead of catching up on his sleep like he should, Harry found himself in the kitchen, making none other than his famous strawberry crepes. Maybe it was sheer boredom, and maybe he was a little hungry, but something had brought up the urge to cook. And no, this had nothing to do with Louis. Please.

While waiting for the pan to heat up, he scoped the fridge for the usual carton of orange juice, which he found to be missing. He groaned, recalling Niall’s new (and strange) obsession with orange juice. Sighing, he retreated to grab the not-as-great grape juice, proceeding to set two glasses on the kitchen counter, pouring the purple liquid equally in each glass.

The crepes were finished, and they turned out perfect, if Harry said so himself. He was a moment away from shouting for Louis to turn up, but Danny flashed into his mind, and he knew that wasn’t the way to go. Instead, he shut off the stove and skipped to his room, creaking the door open. Harry had originally planned on shaking the boy awake but his plan was useless when Louis was already sitting up, leaning his back against the bed frame. His eyes immediately found Harry’s and Harry had to clear his throat before speaking.

“I made breakfast, if you feel like eating.” He bit his mouth, his eyes straying around the room to make it less awkward since Louis wasn’t saying anything. He left the room, expecting Louis to follow, and he did.

“Crepes?” Louis stretched his arms, stifling a yawn. His voice was groggy and the pitch was lower than usual since he’d just woken up. Harry didn’t know why he suddenly felt something tug in his chest.

Harry nodded, sitting down on the stool next to Louis, having a sip of his grape juice. “Yeah, strawberry.”

“I didn’t know you could cook.” Then Louis shot him a look of suspicion, his eyes squinting together and he was almost glaring at Harry. “You didn’t poison these or anything, right?”

Harry couldn’t stop himself from smirking at him. “Only with cyanide, my personal fave.”

“Oh, okay. Just making sure,” Louis brushed it off, waving a hand in Harry’s face in a way that showed he was ready to face his death. Harry watched as Louis took a bite, paused before swallowing seconds later, a satisfied expression on his face.

“Well?”

“Seeing as I haven’t died yet, not bad, Styles. Not bad at all.”

“Glad you think so,” Harry scoffed, taking a bite out of his crepe.

“You know, I’m a bit jealous of Niall.” Harry nearly dropped the pastry onto the ground, but tried desperately not to show how that had affected him. “I have nobody to cook for me,” he clarified. “All Eleanor can make is coffee and I don’t even like it that much.”

Relief swept over him (or was it disappointment?) and he chuckled, remembering how Louis had informed him of Eleanor’s love for coffee. Starbucks, especially. “Well maybe I can cook for you,” he found himself offering.

“Free of charge?”

“I’ll think about it,” Harry smirked, grinning broadly. Silence filled the room as they ate their breakfast. It should have been awkward, but it was really just silence and didn’t bother them at all.

Harry finally asked the dreaded question when he was washing dishes. “So, what happened last night?”

“Nothing,” Louis shrugged. “Eleanor was just having one of her moods again, I didn’t want to deal with it so I left.”

Harry presumed he went to get drunk after that, and that didn’t really need further explanation. Instead, he decided to ask more about Eleanor. “What happened with Eleanor?” Then when Louis just stared at him, his face shot red with embarrassment and he just knew that he’d gone too far. Now Louis probably thought he was creepy and nosy.

Surprisingly, Louis simply brushed it off. “Nothing really. We just had another row.” Oh, another? They fought often? “It’s really no big deal though.”

Upon hearing those words of reassurance, Harry was still unconvinced that it wasn’t a big deal. Louis wouldn’t have just come here to avoid Eleanor. Well no, he could. But there had to be a good enough reason for that, right?

Harry didn’t want to pin him with more questions so he let it go. The happy-go-lucky mood resurfaced while Harry finished the dishes, listening to Louis tell him stories about things that had occurred in his lifetime, adding his input every now and then. It was so weird how much they already knew about each other when they’d only known each other for three days now. It was different. Harry had never got on with someone that easily before. It was new and Harry liked it.

“And that’s the story of my first crush.”

“That’s sad, man. She really didn’t think you were good-looking at all?” Harry asked in disbelief. Now he knew he was taken and all, but that didn’t make Louis any less attractive, and there was nothing wrong with that.

Louis shook his head, pretending to look glum. “It’s alright now though. I found someone better.” And for some reason, when Louis smiled at the other boy, Harry had to force Eleanor into his mind because really. Why would Louis even be referring to him?

The younger boy finished what was left of his grape juice, setting his glass back on the counter. “I should probably get going.”

Harry was prepared to say “so soon?” but when his eyes darted over to the clock on the microwave which read 12:23, he remembered he had two hours until Niall was home and maybe it was best if Louis left as soon as possible. Not that there was anything to feel guilty about, of course.

“Do you wanna say goodbye to Danny?”

Surprisingly, Louis’ face lit up when the baby was mentioned. He nodded his head, following Harry into the baby’s room, where a sleeping Danny lay inside his crib. Harry was beaming at the sight, still in disbelief, how did he get so lucky? He made way for Louis to have a peek, hinting that it was okay to pick him up.

Louis had pulled Danny under his gaze for a matter of seconds, proceeding to pat him on the stomach lightly as to not wake him. He roamed back over to the living room where the two boys made an awkward confrontation at their goodbyes.

“Thanks for taking care of me,” Louis said softly. “It really means a lot.”

“A-anytime,” Harry stuttered, suddenly finding Louis sounding way too sappy for that moment. Louis had swung the door open, and Harry was ready to wave goodbye when he remembered something else. “Oh, and good luck, Louis.” 

~

Thursday

 

Worst sex of my life was all Louis could think when he rolled out of bed that morning. He wrapped his blue robe around his exposed body, leaving Eleanor in their bed and starting off for the kitchen. He sighed deeply, preparing his breakfast, if leftover pizza with coffee even qualified as a meal. And this was on a good day, by chance.

Last night wasn’t the best night for Louis, to say the least. He and Eleanor had stopped ignoring each other, so he supposed that was good, but when his girlfriend brought up the idea of makeup sex, Louis was hesitant to do anything. He told himself repeatedly that he was just scared of getting her pregnant again and having to go through all of this again, but somehow Eleanor had persuaded him into it, assuring him that she’d taken birth control followed by whispering in his ear, “The condoms are in the bathroom cabinet.”

Needless to say, Louis did enjoy that night, how could he not? But as the passion had heated up, he couldn’t bring himself to even say his girlfriend’s name because the moment before he climaxed, Eleanor’s big brown eyes were suddenly replaced with dark green orbs and as he rode the orgasm, he couldn’t stop himself from thinking of only one word: Harry.

And that was exactly why that was the worst sex of his life. Not because Eleanor’s eyes didn’t go wild when he pushed deeper. Not because her moans did little to turn him on. Not because he didn’t feel comfortable inside Eleanor. Not because he was afraid of making the same mistake.

Because he couldn’t get that stupid boy off his mind the entire time.

He knew this was wrong. On so many levels. Not the fact that maybe he was gay, because let’s be honest, Louis would be lying if he said he’d never questioned his sexuality. And now that had been put to the test, proving positive, proving that he was indeed fucked.

Maybe it had been the spur of the moment, maybe he was a little tipsy, but that didn’t deny the obvious crush he had on the boy. He knew the best thing to do was to leave it alone. It was as easy as that. They were both taken, they hardly even knew each other for Christ’s sake, and pining over Harry was useless and would hurt him in the long run.

It was a simple, stupid crush and he would have no trouble getting over it.

Louis made it his goal to stay clear from Harry Styles as much as possible.

 

Saturday evening

 

Louis shoved his cellular device into his front pocket, sighing deeply, wishing for this tension to end already. It seemed no matter how many times they made up, it always came down to this. A never-ending vicious cycle of breakups and make-ups , that’s all it was. It had always been this way. Even before the baby came into their lives. The past couple of days have convinced Louis that his and Eleanor’s relationship wasn’t all that it cracked out to be. And once again, Eleanor had done something to set him off. This time it was centered around complaining over bills, how Louis never did anything, how it was Louis’ fault she got pregnant. And Louis was sick of it. 

He dropped his body on a bench, slumping down so his elbows were on his knees, his head resting over his hands. Louis tried to get himself to relax by sitting still and thinking of absolutely nothing until a couple passed him, reminding him of her. Before the baby. Back during the honeymoon phase of their relationship when conflict didn’t exist.

He thought back on his life before Eleanor. He was that kid, the one who had all the friends, did sports (even though he sucked miserably), and got all the girls. Once he finished high school, everything had gone south, literally, and there was no going back. He remembered his friend Stan setting them up on a blind date, and the two seemed to get on quite quickly.

Louis loved Eleanor, he really did. But if she was going to act like this, there was no telling how much longer they would last.

Then there was sex, which was supposedly mind-blowing and exciting. None of which he’d ever had the honour of experiencing. Not that there was anything wrong with Eleanor. No way, no. Eleanor was a lovely girl, still technically a teenager at eighteen with plenty of experience. It’s just, perhaps she just wasn’t right for Louis. But who knew, maybe Louis was over-thinking. Maybe sex wasn’t that great after all.

Louis pulled his phone out again, expecting a text from Zayn after asking – more like begging – him to hang out. He claimed he was too busy and Louis felt betrayed that his best friend had better things to do than be there for him. That’s why he was hopeful when the device buzzed in his pocket, but when the screen read an unknown number, Louis frowned, opening the text.

 

Hey, Lou. It’s Harry .x

 

Louis’ breath caught in his throat and he was downright shocked. Harry was the last person he’d expected to text him. He recalled the other day when he’d stayed over at Harry’s, sleeping in his bed, eating breakfast with him. It was all surreal, and it had been almost too easy slipping his number into Harry’s phone which happened to be lying next to his bed.

 

From: Louis (17:02)

How’d you get my number? ;)

 

Louis smirked, teasing Harry simply because the situation was demanding it.

 

From: Harry (17:03)

Oh you know, I have my ways xx

 

From: Harry (17:03)

What’s up? :)

 

From: Louis (17:04)

Bored as fuck

 

From: Harry (17:05)

Haha wish I could say the same. I’ve been so busy all day .x

 

Louis knew right away that Harry had practically dedicated his entire life to taking care of Danny. Partly the reason why he and Eleanor had chosen to give him up...

 

From: Louis (17:07)

Jesus Haz, you need a break

 

He grinned at the sudden nickname. He wasn’t sure where that even came from, but he liked it.

 

From: Harry (17:10)

Where are you?

 

From: Louis (17:10)

Bentley Park

 

From: Louis (17:12)

Wait why do you wanna know

 

No response.

 

From: Louis (17:15)

Harry?

 

Still no response.

Louis was getting worried, afraid he’d said or done something to be ignored. And maybe it was just his gut instinct, but what if Harry hated him now? What if he knew Louis liked him? What if Louis had scared him away?

He suppressed a groan, slumping down on the bench. There wasn’t really a way to describe Louis’ mood; he was just tired of everything. It was weird. Even though Harry was the one with the baby, Louis seemed to need a break the most.

He couldn’t stop himself from checking his phone every now and then to see if Harry had texted him back, but the empty inbox was tormenting him, tempting him to send another text. But he wouldn’t.

Instead, he decided to text Zayn, and it was to his surprise that his friend actually responded.

 

From: Zayn (17:22)

What the fuck do u want

 

Louis didn’t say anything to that. It was obvious Zayn didn’t want to hang out with him, let alone speak to him. Louis simply brushed it off with the fact that he was just a burden to everyone and he shouldn’t even bother.

Then he felt a presence next to him, and curiosity took over. He was ready to get up and leave, obviously not wanting to annoy this person simply by his existence, but then his heart stopped when the bright, familiar eyes set upon his.

“Just thought we could hang out. Y’know, since we both need a break,” Harry grinned at Louis, a cute dimple creeping on the side of his mouth, which Louis did not find sexy at all.

It took him a moment to lapse back to normal, still amazed that Harry was really here. “What about Danny?”

“Niall’s taking care of him.”

Louis was faced with the question, ‘What about Niall?’ but didn’t feel compelled to ask. He didn’t want to risk having Harry leave or anything, but he was already here and he wouldn’t just go now.

Harry repositioned himself on the bench, and their knees were just barely brushing. “So what are you doing at a park?”

He decided to tell the truth, not that Harry could help. “I had another row with Eleanor,” Louis explained. “So I just came here to relax.”

“You’ve been fighting a lot lately.” It wasn’t a question.

“Yeah.” He started to wonder if it was really that obvious or if Harry actually cared enough to pay attention.

“What do you fight about?” Harry then turned away, looking down at the ground. “Ugh, sorry... You don’t have to tell me.”

“Just the usual,” Louis answered with much confidence. “It’s usually about Danny, bills, our relationship, even just the stupid things. That kind of stuff.”

Harry shot him a look that meant ‘I see’. “Do you love her?”

Louis had his answer ready in his head, as if it was an automatic reaction, but all it took was one look at the curly-haired boy to make him reconsider. “I – uh, I guess.”

“It’s obvious you’re not happy with her,” the other boy observed, brushing his hair back. “Why do you even bother? I mean, you don’t even have a baby to look after.”

What did that mean?

He shrugged. “I guess I’m just afraid of letting go.”

“Listen, Lou. It’s your life and I’m not gonna tell you how to live it,” Harry’s eyes scanned over Louis’, swiping quickly between his orbs. “But if Eleanor is honestly making you this unhappy, is it even worth it?”

Louis didn’t answer; he was thinking too hard. Harry did have a point, but whatever happened to keeping together even when things got rough? But that was a vicious cycle that Louis couldn’t stand to revel in any longer. Maybe Harry was right. Maybe Louis should end it already.

Instead of responding, he decided to change the subject. “So what are we doing? You said we were gonna hang out,” he proceeded to clarify.

“That I did,” Harry said with a broad grin, looking free and happy, and downright adorable. He jumped off the bench, tugging on Louis’ hand, starting to lead them down the walkway. “C’mon!”

Louis was burning with warmth, mostly from the energy radiating from Harry, and he hadn’t realised they were even holding hands until Harry was running and pulling him along. They hadn’t gone far, and their running had extended to reach the playground, which Louis hadn’t been to in years.

Harry was already climbing up a slide, and Louis followed behind, demanding that Harry at least followed the rules. Harry simply rolled his eyes and let his body slip – more like drag, actually – down the slide after he bellowing a loud, “YOLO!”

Louis was laughing like a little girl which was difficult with Harry’s body over his. Even though he could hardly breathe and wanted to get up, something was holding back. Maybe it was the fact that, you know, Harry was on top of him.

Harry rolled over, woodchips covering his back, and it didn’t help that Louis continued to throw them at him. He was laughing, and his mood really had improved. “Are we really doing this?”

Harry pulled his body off the ground, brushing the woodchips off his clothing. “You’re never too old to have fun,” Harry said in defence, his cheekbones shown from grinning so brightly.

Louis shrugged, agreeing with the older boy, still surprised to see that he had so much energy regardless of his age. Instead of striking him odd that Harry acted so young, it actually came off as absolutely adorable and didn’t help Louis at all.

They were riding on the swings side by side, flying high in the air, and Louis felt so free; he hadn’t been in this great of a mood in so long, it seemed.

“Remember how we weren’t allowed to jump off?” Harry smirked, progressing to swing higher and higher until he threw himself onto the ground, landing on his knees. “Shit. Fuck. Shit. I see why they warned us.”

Louis couldn’t help but laugh, even though his friend was clearly in pain. He slowed himself down until it was safe enough to get off, not wanting to hurt himself too. “Everything okay?”

Harry pushed himself off the ground confidently, proving that his bones were still working properly, that the jump hadn’t killed him. “Should I do it again?”

“No!” Louis protested, then caught himself laughing at the sudden fright possessed in his voice. “You’re setting a bad example, I mean, look at those kids.” He gestured to the group of young boys, who were attempting to climb up the slides. “They’re going to hurt themselves now and it’s all because of you.” Louis shook his head disapprovingly, trying to look upset.“I hope you’re happy.”

“Wow, I feel bad for Danny then,” Harry chuckled, setting a hand on Louis’ shoulder. “Thank you in advance for pulling your son’s life in my hands.”

“No problem,” Louis said sweetly, hoping that Harry was only being sarcastic for the sake of the conversation.

Harry and Louis left the playground, simply walking and talking about random things. It was strange how Louis could speak to the other boy so freely in such short time. Louis didn’t think he’d ever gotten on with anyone as well as he did with Harry. Not even Eleanor.

“What’s your favourite ice cream flavour?”

“Strawberry,” Louis answered, as they started off in a different path, away where there weren’t as many people.

Harry looked impressed for a second, and Louis could have sworn he was blushing. “White chocolate. Or vanilla I guess.”

“White chocolate? Interesting. There’s this ice cream place down north. I think they have what you’re looking for,” Louis couldn’t resist winking. “We could go, yeah?”

“I dunno, I...” Harry trailed off, staring at Louis and hopefully noticing his pleading expression. “I guess one ice cream won’t kill me.”

“Right. Because it’s actually really painful to hang out with me. You’ve broken my heart, Harry.” Louis placed a hand over his chest dramatically.

He chuckled, slapping a hand on Louis’ shoulder. “Sorry, mate. Won’t happen again.” He pulled out his phone, and immediately frowned. “Shit, we really need to hurry.”

“What’s the rush?” Louis set his arm over the other boy’s shoulder, in a completely platonic fashion.

“Well, I don’t want Niall to have to take care of Danny all night.”

And why was that such a big deal? “Who says we’ll be out all night?”

Harry just laughed, and it was to Louis’ surprised that Harry still hadn’t brushed him away. And yet that worried Louis more and he found himself removing his arm from Harry.

Harry’s head shot up from his phone and he was staring at Louis, literally staring. And Louis was staring back. He hadn’t bothered questioning why their eyes had locked together, and it was quite surprising how normal it seemed despite how awkward the sudden eye contact should have been.

Louis wanted to kiss him, out of all things. The urge had just come to mind, and he almost laughed at the thought, but then his eyes found Harry’s lips, pink and plump, and his mind started playing tricks on him. He was already imagining the other boy’s lips, soft and warm, as they collided with his, a fight for dominance. And now Louis was left with frustration, knowing he could kiss him so easily. He was right in front of him, fucking standing right there. It was all too easy. Harry was the toast, and Louis wanted to wrap himself around him like butter.

“Louis,” Harry said, like he was warning him, like he was aware of his motives. Maybe it didn’t help that Louis had been staring for who knows how long. Fuck, he probably made Harry really uncomfortable.

He gulped, straying his attention away from the curly-headed lad. “Right, let’s go.”


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Louis and Eleanor gave their baby up for adoption, they never expected the new parents to be two males. They also didn’t expect Louis to fall in love with one of them.

Sunday

 

“Fuck, Louis,” Harry muttered between gasps. “Harder.”

The other boy did as he said, pulling himself out then shoving himself in, now able to fit everything in. He was yearning for more friction that he did little to spare Harry’s pain, though Harry was enjoying it a little more than he should.

“So fucking tight, Haz.” Louis groaned, his hips bucking as he thrusted himself faster and deeper into Harry, eliciting fast and easy moans from the other boy, the action causing him to blast on full control. He was now easily moving in and out of the boy, their bodies rocking against the bed.

Harry’s hand moved up and down his length, ecstasy coursing through his blood, sweat beating down his forehead as he felt Louis press deeper into him, his hips bucking as he grasped the sheets tightly, gasping as he felt something sticky release into him. Louis was rocking rapidly against him, the pressure now nonexistent, his body eventually dropped on top of his. He rolled to the side and gripped Harry, and as he flickered his wrist, it wasn’t too long before Harry was chanting Louis’ name and spilling onto both of their chests.

I love you, Louis. I love you so much... The words echoed in Harry’s brain as Louis’ lips pressed against Harry’s again, making him feel so special, so fucking special to even be beside such a beautiful human being. There was no way this was a dream. This was real. This actually happened. This-

Harry heard a loud gasp, that was not coming from the other boy. He barely had time to react when he heard a gunshot, his eyes immediately darting to Louis then back to the source of the bullet.

Niall.

Though it was dark, Harry could sense the angry and horrified expression on his lover’s face. He could see it all. Hurt, anger, betrayal, sadness, everything, and worst of all, Harry felt no remorse.

“Harry, you...” Louis was pointing to Harry’s chest, and when he looked down, there was blood pouring down his torso, rich and red, and all Harry could do was stare because he felt nothing at all.

Louis grabbed his hand, grasping it tightly, tears pouring down his face and his mouth was moving but no words came out. Harry wanted to hear him so badly, he desperately tried to read his lips, but found that his vision was blurring, and he was struggling to remain conscious.

The last thing he saw before he blacked out was Niall walking towards him, saying his name over and over again. And Harry heard it loud and clear, and it burned.

 

“Harry!”

Harry's eyes snapped open, blinking hard repeatedly, his breaths short and uneven as the blonde-haired boy entered his sight. Niall was straddling him, his hands pressed against Harry's face, intending to comfort Harry but doing the opposite. Harry remembered Niall in the dream, how he had looked at him with those eyes. Darkened blue orbs, so unlike him, writhing with pain, making Harry feel guilty for doing absolutely nothing. He wasn't sure what made him feel worse. The fact that he'd cheated on Niall in the dream, that he didn’t care, or that he enjoyed it.

A light blush spread on Harry's cheeks and he had to bite down his bottom lip to avoid faltering under Niall's worried gaze.

Niall frowned, his expression somber as he rolled over to the other side of the bed, positioning himself to face the other boy. "It was just a dream, Harry."

Harry could have sworn Niall knew, but common sense took over because how on earth would Niall know? Harry didn't talk in his sleep, and if he had, someone would have told him sooner. But how embarrassing would it have been for Niall to hear Harry talking with his dream, shouting Louis' name, demanding he went harder…

"Harry?" Niall waved a hand in his face and Harry shook a little, his eyes now focused on his lover.

"Right - sorry."

"You're apologising?" Niall cracked a smile, a slight chuckle passing his lips. "You're an odd one, Harry.” He patted him on the head. “But that's why I love you."

Harry returned his smile, but it almost felt... forced. And that only made the hole in his heart to grow, not speaking figuratively in this case. That dream did have significant meaning to his life and it was his sub-conscience talking. And that worried Harry the most.

The baby monitor went off, interrupting Harry's thoughts and Niall swore loudly jerking his body out of the bed, rushing to take care of Danny. Harry sighed loudly, the pain in his chest retaliating, causing his thoughts to drift into a dangerous zone. Louis.

He replayed their conversations in his mind, remembering how upset he was over Eleanor, how hopeless he looked. He'd almost regretted showing up the park, assuming Louis didn't want his company, that he would just push him away. But surprisingly he hadn't and who could blame him? If Harry was fighting with Niall he wouldn't want to be left alone either.

He couldn't get Louis' face out of his head, and not just generally because that was the case, but he couldn't get over how hung over Eleanor he was. How much he was letting Eleanor take over his life. He guessed lovers were supposed to do that, for the most part at least, but there was something about Louis and Eleanor's relationship that bothered him. Not the fact that they were dating and Harry was jealous, which he most certainly was not.

It was about how unhappy she made Louis.

Now he hadn't known the man for long, but with the knowledge that everybody deserved to be happy, Eleanor didn't deserve someone as great as Louis. And Louis didn't deserve to be suffering in his relationship when he was supposed to be happy, like how he was around Harry.

Harry couldn't be too judgmental, he knew that. But from what he'd observed, from how they behaved when they'd come over the other day, Harry just knew something wasn't right with them. Maybe the spark had faded, or they were never in love to begin with, but something was off.

Then he remembered Louis' face and how he had stared at him, and for a second, Harry swore Louis was going to kiss him. And thinking of that sent chills down his spine and throughout his body because he wanted him to.

Now this was all confusing to think about and Harry didn’t even want to start, but the more he thought about it the more he was convinced that Louis was interested in him. But then there were the factors pulling him away from that realisation, because, let’s face it, Louis was straight, he was taken, and even though he wasn’t in a healthy relationship, that didn’t necessarily mean he wanted Harry either.

Not to mention that Harry was taken as well, how could he forget that?

Okay, so maybe Harry liked Louis just a little. And that wet dream may have had something to do with it, he only hoped the second part would cease to exist. But even then… Harry would just have to forget about it. He had no chance, nor did he want to ruin what he had with Niall. Let’s face it, even though Eleanor and Louis aren’t working out, he and Niall, as Louis mentioned himself, were meant to be.

And yet, why didn’t it feel that way?

Harry got out of bed and the first thing he did was take a shower, wanting to wash away the ruminants of that dream, the sex getting to him the most as of now. And he would hate Niall to walk in on his raging boner so showering was the best way to go.

Once the water warmed up to the point where it wasn’t the pit of hell or the Ice Age, Harry stepped inside, the privacy eagerly welcoming him. As the water poured onto him, he was unintentionally replaying his dream in his head, omitting the gore of course. That wasn’t saying much of course because that dream had felt so real, it was so graphic and vivid that Harry could have sworn it had actually happened.

Raging boner was a fun way to describe Harry’s current condition, but he had gotten literally so hard and frustrated that he was ready to take care of it on his own. Normally, Niall would have done something about it by now, but since this wasn’t about him, that would have been a little odd. And thinking of this only made Harry worse and it didn’t fucking help that he was still thinking of Louis.

He gave up on trying to tough it out, pressing his hands onto himself, slowly moving them rhythmically as he progressed into longer and faster strokes.

Harry thought of Louis’ hair, how much he’d love to come in that hair and whoa, where did that come from? Those blue, blue eyes. The way the pupils would dilate as they bodies pressed together. He imagined Louis’ hands tracing his skin gracefully and seductively, his lips against his neck, those full lips he’d wanted to kiss the previous day. Harry swallowed his moans, not wanting Niall to know what he was up to, and after his imagination went wilder, if that was even possible at this point, he backed into the wall, panting as he watched his release get washed down the drain.

He then proceeded to shower as if nothing had happened.

He left the shower feeling a million times better. He slipped on a plain white t-shirt with just his boxers. Niall knew better than him that he preferred running around naked, but he didn’t feel comfortable doing that with Danny around now. It was a shame, but it was a bad habit that Harry needed to get rid of anyway. He was twenty-two!

Niall smiled warmly at him when Harry entered the kitchen, taking a whiff of the air, which smelled like…

“I made pancakes!” Niall exclaimed, the excitement obvious in his tone. Harry forced a smile, patting him on the head as he passed by him to get to the fridge.

“And you didn’t burn it?” His eyes scanned the fridge for orange juice, yet again remembering that Niall had drank it all. 

“Nope, it’s delicious!”

“Really?” Harry said, gesturing to the plate of pancakes on the kitchen counter. “Try it then.”

Niall’s face flushed, his eyes downcast. “You first.”

“That’s what I thought.” Harry moved past him to make some tea, but then he felt hands grip his arse followed by Niall’s arms slipping around his waist.

“I missed you last night.”

Harry gulped, his words causing his emotions to stir. He tried to move out of Niall’s grasp as politely as he could, and he knew Niall would ask for an explanation.

He didn’t. “Get your coat on, dear, we’re going out.”

“What? Where?”

“I dunno, a breakfast diner? I don’t give a fuck. I’m starving.”

Harry frowned, scratching the back of his neck. He looked at the undercooked pancakes then back at his lover. “You know I can cook-”

“It’s too late for that now. The stomach has spoken.” The Irish lad started to rub his tummy, causing Harry to chuckle at the sight.

“Alright,” he gave in after his laughing died down. “I’ll grab Danny.”

 

 

“Niall, I think you’ve had enough,” Harry groaned, taking a sip of his coffee, shaking his head disapprovingly at the boy in front of him. Niall had eaten four doughnuts now, three pancakes, and he was still continuing to stuff his face with muffins. “You’re going to ruin your figure.”

“Haha,” Niall scoffed, taking a break to drink some of his orange juice, and yes, the obsession hadn’t left him. “This will all just go through me, y’know that.”

Harry shrugged, accepting that no matter how much Niall ate, he always seemed to keep his body looking fit. He had no idea how that was even possible. Maybe it was an Irish thing.

“You’re setting a bad example for Danny,” he warned him, then a sense of déjà vu washed over him. Didn’t Louis say that yesterday? He shrugged it off, his attention wavering to his son beside him who was sleeping blissfully in his stroller, a truly beautiful sight that made Harry grin incredulously. 

Something buzzed in his pocket and caused him to jump. Nowadays, he only really used his phone to keep in touch with Niall when he was away, and occasionally talking to his old friends. But other than that, he rarely ever touched it. So of course it was normal to be a little curious about who had texted him.

 

From: Louis (9:12)

Morning :)

 

Harry remembered texting Louis yesterday, and although he hadn’t bothered him, he was sure that was the last time they’d ever text, because, well, it was just weird. And yet, why did it cause Harry’s face to light up to the point where even Niall noticed?

 

From: Harry (9:13)

What are you doing up this early? xx

 

From: Louis (9:13)

Starbucks

 

“Who are you texting?”

Harry’s head shook, and he had to do a double take. He looked up from his phone to see Niall staring at him, nothing short of curiosity shown on his face.

“Nobody,” he answered, then panicked, realising that sounded too suspicious since it was obvious he was texting. “My mum.”

“Nothing to be embarrassed about,” Niall shook his head slowly, grinning at Harry, absolutely clueless. Unless… he was doing this on purpose and he knew.

 

From: Louis (9:15)

The guy got El’s order wrong hahaha!

 

Harry had to clam a hand over his mouth to stop himself from bursting into laughter.

 

From: Harry (9:15)

Shouldn’t you be helping her like the good boyfriend you are?

 

From: Louis (9:16)

Good boyfriend huh? If you say so xx

 

From: Louis (9:16)

It’s all good, she got her regular vanilla mocha frap

 

Then the guilt got to Harry, it really got to him, to the point where he forced himself to put his phone away for now to keep Niall from getting suspicious. For the time being, Niall was either too oblivious or too smart for his own good and either way, it was dangerous to risk anything.

What was he thinking? Why was he trying to hide something? He and Louis were just friends, nothing more. And yet why couldn’t he tell Niall who he was really texting? None of that made sense and made Harry’s head hurt thinking about it. He ignored the next three buzzes in his pants, trying to remind himself that he was taken, that Louis was taken, and that this would never work out.

The moment Harry walked into the passenger seat, his phone buzzed for the fourth time. He tried to ignore it again, but found himself entirely curious as to what Louis was bugging him about. They were having a completely relaxed conversation and unless Louis was just a really clingy texter, there was no reason for him to keep texting.

 

From: Louis (9:17)

Shit she spilled it on my trousers :( my favorite too!

 

From: Louis (9:20)

Great she’s blaming me for it

 

From: Louis (9:22)

Wow this is just ridiculous 

 

From: Louis (9:29)

Fuck this

 

Harry panicked, trying to match up the last text to the other three, attempting to figure out what Louis had meant with “Fuck this”. Had it been because Harry hadn’t texted him back? Or was there something else?

 

From: Harry (9:50)

Sorry for the late reply, I was eating

 

He sat still, waiting impatiently, pretending to listen to Niall drone on about his classmates and how he was forced to do a group project for his home economics class. At least, that was all Harry could get out of it since he was hardly paying attention. 

 

From: Harry (9:52)

What do you mean ‘fuck this’ did anything happen?

 

He waited another ten minutes, and the moment Harry and Niall stepped into their flat, he pulled out his phone again mentally swearing at the empty inbox staring back at him.

 

From: Harry (10:02)

Please answer

 

Harry sighed after waiting a full seven minutes. After setting Danny back into his crib, he dropped himself onto his bed, closing his eyes and trying not to think. He hadn’t slept well last night and with that crazy dream, he was unusually tired even though he’d woken up barely an hour ago.

He lay there waiting for what seemed like forever until his phone finally buzzed, this time a call instead of a text. Harry’s eyes scanned the room for any sign of Niall and when the coast was clear, he pressed his phone to his ear.

“H-hey,” he said shakily into the phone. Harry was never good at talking on phones. It was simply too awkward and he preferred texting.

Louis’ response was equally as shaky. “Hey.”

And then silence fell, and curiosity was still eating at Harry and he decided to go for it since there wasn’t really anything to lose anyway. “Hey, so- uh, I got that last text… What was that about?”

“We broke up.”

“I’m sorry.” Harry looked down, trying to sound sympathetic and trying to forget that his heart was beating a thousand beats per second.

“It’s okay. It wasn’t working out.”

Things grew quiet after Louis spoke and Harry was just trying to calm himself down and remind himself that just because he was single, that didn’t mean he wanted Harry, and there were reasons for the breakup apart from that.

“So I assume you ended it?” Why did he even ask that? Was it even important?

“Yeah,” Louis replied, and Harry heard him sigh. “I hope I made the right choice.”

You did, Harry wanted to say.

He heard footsteps behind him and he turned around to see Niall edging towards him, sadness flickering in his eyes, and Harry began to panic. There was no way he didn’t know now. Fuck, he was caught red-handed and there was no way he could deny that.

“Can I speak to him?” Niall held his hand out for the phone and Harry shook away the paranoia and gave him his mobile. He proceeded to fumble with his fingers, hoping Niall wasn’t about to yell at Louis or something. He really didn’t need that right now.

“Hey Louis, this is Niall.”

Harry was making the decision on whether or not he should leave the room, absolutely not wanting to witness whatever was about to happen. He had started to head to the door when he heard Niall’s usual laugh, completely catching him off guard.

“I figured that, ha,” he sat down on the bed, his expression growing more somber. “So you and El broke up, huh? Sorry, mate.” Oh, so Harry had freaked out over nothing. He couldn’t be more relieved. “Hey, what do you say me and Harry come on over, yeah?” A pause. “Nonsense! Our house is a mess too, nothing to be ashamed of.” Harry slipped a grin, imagining what Louis was saying on the other line. “Yeah, yeah. Okay, we’ll be right over.”

“What’s going on?” Harry had heard the entire conversation, but that didn’t mean he didn’t want the details.

“Louis broke up with Eleanor.” Duh. “We’re going to his place to hang out. Y’know, some bro time.”

Shivers went down Harry’s spine and he was suddenly imagining his flat. The place where Louis lived. Louis. The man he had a crush on. And Niall was coming too.

This was going to be awkward, there was no doubt about that.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Louis and Eleanor gave their baby up for adoption, they never expected the new parents to be two males. They also didn’t expect Louis to fall in love with one of them.

Louis would be lying if he said he wasn’t freaking out. He had already panicked when Niall had spoken to him, felt a bit at ease when he insisted they visit him, but only slightly. To be honest, if it were only Harry visiting him, he might actually enjoy himself tonight, but because Niall was also going to be here, he couldn’t stop freaking out.

What if caught on to something? It was obvious there wasn’t anything going on between the two of them but what if he noticed the way Louis looked at Harry and assumed something was going on? Or that Louis was trying to steal his man? It was all too much to think about and he drowned himself in work because he couldn’t stand to think any longer.

He didn’t know how soon they were arriving but he cleaned the house beforehand, not wanting to gross them out or anything with the mess. The cleaning did him some good, thankfully. He managed to find his sunglasses, his white sweater he’d been missing for weeks, and in the midst of all the cleaning, one of Eleanor’s bras.

The breakup had taken place barely thirty minutes ago, and Eleanor had yet to move out. He tried not to touch her things as he cleaned up, not wanting to make her any angrier when she showed up. Louis felt bad for ending it, but it was mostly because he couldn’t stand hurting people. In reality, he actually felt relieved to be single again. Now he never had to feel guilty about drooling over celebrities, watching porn, or even thinking about Harry. Except, you know, he’s still torn over that last part.

It only took him a few moments to realise that they were coming over, most likely for lunch, and Louis had no food in the house. It didn’t help that Eleanor did all the cooking because now Louis was screwed and going to starve to death if he didn’t start taking classes.

He sighed, pulling out his phone to dial for pizza. He only hoped Niall and Harry wouldn’t mind.

Louis went with two pizzas: a cheese and a pepperoni. Normally he would have gone with something more complex, but he didn’t know what the other boys liked and hopefully this was simple enough.

When the doorbell rang, he wasn’t sure if it was the pizza man or Niall and Harry until he looked through the hole to see a curly head of hair standing next to what he could identify as Niall. He tried not to grin as he opened the door, letting the two men inside.

“Lovely place, mate,” Niall commented, flashing Louis a smile. “You lied to me. This place is spotless.”

Louis chuckled, smirking. “I may have cleaned a little.”

“I assume you also ordered pizza?” It was Harry who spoke this time, his low and raspy voice immediately grasping Louis’ attention.

“How did you know?” He gasped, pressing a hand to his chest, pretending to look shock. “You know I can’t cook.”

“That makes two of us.” Niall grinned, elbowing him. “Harry does all the cooking. Am I right, Hazza?”

Louis shuddered. That nickname.

“Yeah, Eleanor did all the cooking,” Louis explained and then he was met by two pairs of sympathetic eyes. He assured them, “I’m fine guys, really. I ended the relationship.”

“Why?”

“It wasn’t working out,” he simply said.

“Yeah, they weren’t getting along,” Harry blurted out and Louis’ eyes roamed over him, taking in his brilliant features, those plump lips moving as they spoke. Oh, how he would love to- “I mean, did you see how awkward they acted together? That day they came over.”

“I did actually.” Niall nodded in agreement. “Maybe it was for the best.”

Louis almost frowned, that was quite an odd thing to hear coming from Niall. As if Niall was accepting that Louis now had his eye out for Harry, which was strange to think about, but almost true in a way.

Harry lifted Danny out of his carrier, and Louis had to bite his lip to keep from smiling at the adorable sight. Harry was quite the eye candy already but when he was holding Danny, he looked like he was supposed to be the father all along, granted he had no resemblance to the baby obviously.

“Pizza’s here!” Louis announced, running to answer the door as the two other boys cheered behind him. He handed the pizza man twenty pounds and gathered the change. He set the pizza boxes on the dinner table, and immediately all three of them began digging in. Louis was shocked that Niall was eating so fast and in the end, he had eaten the most out of them.

As time went on, Louis surprisingly felt comfortable speaking to both Niall and Harry. If he forgot about his undeniable crush on the curly-headed lad, he was able to speak coherent words to Niall enough to strike up a conversation, and after about twenty minutes of banter, Louis could label them as friends.

This whole time he was under the impression that Niall was this strict guy that wasn’t fun to be around, but it had really turned out to be the opposite. Niall seemed to be one of those people who was happy all the time and lived a relatively carefree life. And living with Harry, of course he was living a fantastic life. Louis only wished he could have that.

“So Louis,” Niall said after swallowing the last bite of his pizza, the boxes now empty beside him. “You go to college here, right?”

“I did until Eleanor got pregnant. And, well, things got hectic after that and I had to quit.”

“Oh, okay,” Niall said in a soft tone, as if to express sympathy. “I was gonna say, I’ve never seen you around campus before.”

Then Louis began asking him questions for no reason, perhaps to keep the conversation alive. “What are you majoring in?”

“Well I want to be a biology teacher, so yeah, biology,” Niall answered loosely, taking a sip of the beer Louis had kindly offered to him.

Louis glanced over at Harry. “What about you, Harry?”

“I already got my four years, and I don’t really know what I’m doing yet. I’m at home in the mean time, someone’s got to watch Danny, but I’m taking online courses, yeah,” Harry explained. “I’ve always wanted to be a singer, but I don’t think that really qualifies as a career.”

“Oh, sure it does!” Louis insisted, pushing his chair forward. “Have you considered auditioning for the X-factor?”

Harry’s face flushed, and he looked quite embarrassed. “No… that’s… yeah, I wouldn’t get far.”

Louis shrugged, displeased by Harry’s lack of confidence. “You’ll never know until you try.”

“What do you do, Louis?” Niall interrupted their exchanging of words.

Louis let out a sigh, glancing briefly at Harry, who was also intent on hearing what he had to say. “I, uh, write. It’s more of a hobby really. I don’t intend on doing anything with it,” he answered honestly.

“What do you write about?”

“Mostly comedy and romance, I guess,” Louis said, looking down at the table to hide his blush.

“I’d like to read it.”

Louis just stared because it wasn’t Niall who had said it; it was Harry. He set his elbow on the table, leaning his head against his. Louis simply shook his head, laughing it off. “Nah, you don’t want to.”

Danny started crying then, putting an end to the conversation. Niall rushed to grab his bottle of milk, feeding it to him until the wailing finally came to a stop. While his back was turned away, Harry was grinning at Louis and Louis just melted, unable to stop himself from smiling. Harry winked at him and Louis smirked, omitting a few chuckles.

“So how did you meet?” Louis found himself asking.

“It’s actually quite embarrassing.” Niall turned back around, sitting on the ground with Danny on his laugh. “Promise not to laugh?”

Louis set his hand over his chest dramatically and nodded agreeably. “Cross my heart and hope to die.”

“Online dating.”

“It was more looking for hookups than dating,” Harry went on, smirking at Niall who was shrugging. “But yeah, that’s where we met.”

So Harry and Niall met online when searching for a hookup. Interesting.

That wasn’t too surprising actually. They were both gay and probably a little desperate and Louis might have done the same given the situation.

Disappointment shot through Louis when Niall declared that he and Harry should probably leave soon. “Danny also needs a change of diapers.”

“Well, it was good seeing you again.” Although Louis was speaking indirectly to Harry, he still smiled at the two of them to make it less obvious.

Harry cleared his throat, scrunching his eyebrows together in concern. “Are you sure you’ll be okay?”

“I’m positive, Haz-Harry.”

“Well you have my number.” Louis looked for any sign of jealousy in Niall’s eyes when Harry had said that, but his mouth just went into the shape of an ‘o’ as he pulled out his phone.

“Here.” He handed it to Louis.

Louis assumed he wanted him to put his number in it, and so he did. He put his name into the contacts, just a simple ‘Louis’, and handed it back to Niall. A few seconds later, he received a text from an unknown number, which he could only guess was Niall’s. Louis saved it as “Mr. Leprechaun” and smirked when he shut his phone off.

“Alright. See you around, Louis.” Niall grinned at him, slapping him lightly on the back as the two of them headed to the door. Louis looked at Harry one last time, for the first time that night truly taking in how spectacular he looked. He was filled with dread that he was leaving but he tried not to look back when the door closed behind him.

He sighed, heading over to the couch, deciding to take a powernap. It was barely two o’clock in the late afternoon but he was utterly exhausted. He was just about to close his eyes when he heard the front door fly open, a smiling Harry running his way.

Louis frowned, standing up from where he was sitting, looking past the door before it closed. His attention went back to the man standing in front of him, the emerald orbs staring deep into his soul, and they were inches apart.

He didn’t notice but Harry had grabbed onto both of his hands, swaying them to the side. He was smiling, the left side of his lip creeping up, forming a recognisable dimple. Louis’ heart stammered and he forgot all about Niall who was standing outside, waiting for Harry to return.

Louis was so lost in Harry’s eyes that he didn’t even notice that their heads were inching closer, those beautiful pink lips only centimeters away from his, and he was hanging by the moment that he didn’t know what the fuck to do next.

His inner ramblings were cut off when he felt lips brush against the side of his face, and he heard a slight smack. Then Harry pulled away. Louis’ face went red, and his mind went into a trance, and he had to remind himself to breathe.

Harry smiled broadly at him, flashing his white, glossy teeth. He strode over to the coffee table where he retrieved car keys, smirking suspiciously. He rolled the key-ring around his fingers and started for the door. Before he pulled it open, he told Louis in a soft voice, “Text me.”

And when the door shut behind him, Louis immediately sank to the ground, literally melting in disbelief.

 

Tuesday

 

The past two days have been the most uneventful times of Louis’ life. Eleanor had stopped by once to pick up her things. She was surprisingly calm, telling him that she’d be back later to make sure she had everything. All without giving him any eye contact. She did once, though. The moment she left, she looked him dead in the eyes, her eyes full of hurt, but with something else.

“Good luck with him,” she had said.

Harry automatically came to mind and he couldn’t help but wonder if it was really that obvious. Or if Eleanor thought that was the reason for their breakup, at least one of them, which was sadly true. Louis felt pathetic shutting the door behind Eleanor, trying to figure what was lurking in Eleanor’s mind. Did she really think he left her for Harry?

Speaking of him, he hadn’t heard from him since he’d last been over on Sunday. Louis had texted him a couple times, nothing too serious. It was usually something along the lines of “hey” “how are you?” but he’d given up after that, not wanting to come off as clingy.

He never got a response. But he didn’t let that bother him, despite how much it should have bothered him. Harry had kissed his fucking cheek, for God’s sake. And now that he wasn’t answering his texts, who knew what he could be thinking. Perhaps he was scared that he’d acted so boldly. Or maybe he regretted what he had done and now he wanted nothing to do with Louis.

Okay, so maybe it bothered Louis a little, but there wasn’t anything he could about that.

Instead of dwelling, he drowned himself in work, writing every chance he got. He didn’t exactly see himself making a career out of it, as he’d explained to Niall and Harry the other day. He really did need a job though. He knew the Tai Sun was hiring nearby, but Louis wasn’t exactly fond of working at a supermarket.

Louis had reached the point where he was literally dying of boredom and he’d hit writer’s block, sitting and swaying in his chair for an hour in frustration. He finally slammed his laptop shut and grabbed his car keys, heading out the door.

Not only was he bored to tears, but he was also starving to death. And it didn’t help at all that he couldn’t cook to save his life. He settled on stopping at Tai Sun to go grocery shopping and maybe even pick up a resumé if he found himself to be interested. 

Louis was driving, enjoying the evening rush for once. He was so used to Eleanor dragging him everywhere that he wasn’t used to enjoying the little things. Maybe he even liked being alone. He turned on the radio, rock and roll blasting the speakers. Wearing the sunglasses he’d found this morning, he unrolled his windows in an attempt to be as obnoxious as possible.

As Louis was entering the parking lot, he passed a Starbucks and silently laughed to himself. Putting his hand out the window, he flipped it off and then proceeded to laugh at himself and knew the witnesses probably thought he was insane. But he was okay with that. 

He walked into the store and was instantly greeted by a red-headed girl, beaming at him. She bit her lip, probably trying to look hot. She passed by him and he returned a smile, forcing his cheekbones to lift to make it look less forced.

Well, that was weird. Louis shrugged it off and headed to the meats, wanting to buy enough to last him a week. He stopped in the breads, deciding he’d have hot dogs tonight. It was okay to pig out in a while, and it wasn’t like he needed to keep in shape or anything.

Louis set the buns into his cart and walked down the aisle, grabbing a bottle of sparkling grape juice which was just calling out to him. He reached the meats, pacing the area trying to decide which one he should get. He usually went with the cheapest ones, since he didn’t really see the point in paying for something expensive.

“I’d recommend getting the Polish ones,” a familiar voice said behind him, causing him to jump (more like back away frantically, actually).

“Harry?” Louis turned to his left to see the man standing next to him, wearing a red shirt with black skinnies; a nametag over his chest. “You work here?”

Harry raised an eyebrow. “Oh no I’m just dressed to work here, it’s really all a prank. Don’t tell anyone.”

Louis laughed. “My lips are sealed.” After he said that, the word ‘kiss’ ran through his mind and he was reminded of that day. His face flushed and his eyes downcast, he cleared his throat to make the situation less awkward.

“So, uh…” he began, deciding to speak some of what was on his mind. “I don’t want to sound like an overbearing girlfriend, but why haven’t you texted me back?” Because he distinctively remembered Harry telling him to text him as he left the other day, but he decided he wouldn’t bring that up.

“Oh!” Harry’s life seemed to flash before his eyes. “Shit, I’m sorry! I think I turned off my phone. You see, I don’t use it that often-”

“It’s fine, Haz,” Louis cut him off, because he honestly didn’t need to act so defensive about it. “It’s not like it was an emergency or anything.”

“Really. You were probably dying of boredom.”

“Hah,” he scoffed, crossing his arms. “I’ll have you know I live a very busy life, thank you very much.” 

“Then what are you doing at a supermarket in the middle of the day?” Harry smirked, “Surely you didn’t come just to see me.”

Louis sighed, smiling sheepishly. “Okay, yeah things are a little boring.” He decided to make Harry feel guilty for making assumptions. “Can’t help that I’m alone now.”

Harry’s smirk fell into a more serious expression, and Louis hoped it wasn’t from what he’d said. “Ever thought about getting a cat? I’ve always wanted one.”

“I’m not a big fan.” Louis scrunched his nose.

“Shame.” Harry sighed, leaning his body against the glass.

Louis looked back at the meats, remembering what he was here for. “So Polish dogs, you said?” He almost expected Harry to say ‘cats are better’ and he found himself grinning at the thought.

Harry nodded, picking up a pack of it and setting it in Louis’ cart. To other people, this might have looked a couple fighting over which brand to get. Louis smiled to himself, and then his eyes caught onto the price tag.

“But they’re six pounds, I can’t afford that.”

“Someone needs a job…” Harry muttered and Louis was about to elbow him until he realised he was right. “You know we’re hiring.”

“Yeah, but supermarkets aren’t really my thing.”

Harry shook his head, chuckling. “You just don’t want to work with me.”

“Well, when you put it that way…” Louis started, flashing Harry a smirk. “I guess it wouldn’t hurt to get an application.”

The curly haired boy nodded his head in approval, gesturing for Louis to follow him. He led him to the back of the store, and disappeared into the long, brown doors. Louis stood waiting for what seemed like forever until Harry returned, a piece of paper in hand.

“Just fill this out and turn it in when you’re ready.” He flashed him a smile.

“Thanks,” Louis returned his smile, scanning over the application quickly. It didn’t look too bad. Maybe he could do this. “I should go. You know, wouldn’t want to keep boredom waiting.”

“Fair enough,” Harry nodded in agreement.

He really didn’t want to go, though. He secretly desired to spend the rest of the day here with Harry. But he supposed that wasn’t possible, even if he did get the job. For some reason, the recent movies flashed into his mind, and he remembered that Avengers was coming to theatres this week.

“So there’s the midnight premiere for Avengers this week,” Louis began, his confidence piling down on him, and now he was purely nervous. What was there to be nervous about? It’s not like he was asking the guy out. “I was going to go but it’s not as much fun going alone. Do you want to come with me? I mean, if it’s too weird, you can even bring Niall along, I don’t mind-”

Harry cut him off by sighing loudly. “I’d love to, Louis. Really.”

Louis’ face flushed and he tried not to smile with satisfaction. “Okay. I’ll, uh, see you later?”

“Yes you will,” he grinned, while Louis tugged onto his cart, starting to pull it away with him. “Enjoy the hotdogs.”

Louis was standing in the checkout line when it finally hit him. He’d pretty much asked Harry out, even if it was an odd way of doing it. He only hoped Harry wasn’t feeling as awkward as he, but a part of him wanted him to know that it was a date.

Nonetheless, as Louis strew his items into his car, he kept telling himself that no, this wasn’t a date. And of course, he ignored that and continued to grin like the idiot he was.

He was back at home and falling asleep on the couch whilst in the midst of watching Skins reruns, when his phone buzzed loudly, causing him to awaken. He groaned, reaching over for the device, wishing whoever this was could just leave him alone. It was nearly two in the morning; who on earth could be texting him?

 

From: Mr. Leprechaun (1:35) 

I need you to leave Harry alone.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Louis and Eleanor gave their baby up for adoption, they never expected the new parents to be two males. They also didn’t expect Louis to fall in love with one of them.

Wednesday

 

“Will you please stop crying?” Harry groaned, knowing it was useless to speak to Danny when he couldn’t answer. He rolled out of bed, glancing over at his alarm clock which read 10:44. Well, to be fair, Harry had slept about ten hours last night, the most sleep he’d had in weeks, so he couldn’t exactly complain.

It came to his attention that Danny needed a change of diapers. After the deed was done, Harry proceeded to feed Danny smashed peas and carrots, and surprisingly, the baby hadn’t made too much of a mess. Harry then set Danny into his play pen, which had arrived the previous morning, smiling as he watched his son play with his toys.

Back in the kitchen, he turned on the radio, silently playing a familiar song, and as he whirled around, picking up materials, he sang along in pure enjoyment. Cooking and singing were Harry’s favorite pastimes and he was always happiest when he was able to collaborate the two.

He cooked himself three eggs, sunny side up, with bacon on the side. It was simple yet delicious and Harry was satisfied with himself. He did the dishes from the previous night then settled himself on the couch. The telly flashed on and he flipped through the channels in hopes of finding something to entertain him. Harry decided on the football channel, setting down the remote control, and sprawling his body over the couch.

He could hear Danny making noises from his play pen, mostly the sound of laughter, as well as the background sounds from the telly, which was strangely relaxing. Though the telly was on, his attention was elsewhere and of course, Louis had come to mind.

They would be hanging out tomorrow at midnight, their first time really hanging out. Harry was surprised that Louis had invited him, more so because it almost sounded like a date, but he was excited nonetheless. He had been waiting for this movie to come out in weeks and seeing it with his new friend made it all the better.

Harry was even more shocked that Louis hadn’t run away from him. He assumed those two days away from him were for the best, referring back to the kiss on the cheek, and he assumed Louis didn’t want to talk to him either since he hadn’t texted him once. Of course, Harry, being the idiot he was leaving his phone off, Louis had really sent him a total of three texts. They were simple, and yet, he was filled with complete satisfaction that Louis might still be interested in him.

Just thinking of Louis sent chills down his spine, and he rolled onto his back, yawning and stretching his limbs. He closed his eyes to drown into his relaxation, trying not to think of scenarios that would never happen.

Harry had lying there for what seemed like hours when he finally got up to actually do something with his life. To be honest, he just wanted to leave the house so he could stop thinking about Louis. It had taken him everything to not text the man a simple hello, but he didn’t want to seem too eager to speak to him.

He ended up driving to Starbucks, deciding he would buy some coffee beans, since they had run out. Plus there was no sense denying that he was starving and extremely bored.

He wasn’t going to lie; he almost expected Eleanor to be there, since Louis had explained how she practically lived there. But it’s not like that thought stopped him from walking through the doors. And then Harry froze, wanting to burst into a fit of laughter, because there she was, standing by the counter, grabbing a coffee cup from the cashier.

He tried to go unnoticed, sneaking past her to hide in one of the booths. Hopefully she was only here to pick something up and she would leave. Sadly, that wasn’t the case because when Harry looked over the wall, Eleanor was looking down at him, smiling sheepishly when she caught sight of Danny.

She walked around to the front of their table, her drink in hand. “Mind if I sit here?”

Harry shook his head, looking back at his son, while Eleanor sat in front of them. For a minute or two, they simply stared at each other, and Harry was speechless. What was he supposed to do? Ask her how she was doing? Apologise for the breakup?

“So how’s Danny?” Eleanor finally asked, and Harry noticed right away that she hadn’t bothered to ask how he was himself.

“He’s doing great.”

Then she went ahead and asked, “How are you?” 

“I’m alright,” Harry answered truthfully, because in all honesty, his mood was pretty neutral. “You?”

Eleanor shrugged, taking a sip of her coffee. “Okay, I guess.”

Harry slumped back in his side of the booth, looking down at the table, thinking of a way to make this less awkward. He knew Eleanor was probably lying and she was really a mess inside, and would let her elaborate.

He heard her sigh, dropping her hands onto her lap. “I just… I wish I knew what Louis wanted. Maybe then I could’ve made him happy.” Eleanor shook her head sadly. “But who am I kidding? He doesn’t want me.”

Harry’s eyes shot up, staring at this fragile young lady sitting in front of him. And despite how much he disliked her for making Louis so unhappy, he couldn’t stand seeing her unhappy either. Was that weird?

So being a caring person, he went ahead and tried to help. “He left you because it wasn’t working, not because you did something wrong.”

Eleanor stared at him, frowning. “He didn’t tell you, did he?”

“Tell me what?”

She shook her head, as if to say ‘never mind’. “Nothing, nothing. It’s just… I wish none of this ever happened. We were fine before the baby came along and now he’s… changed.”

Harry moved to the edge of his seat, now anxious to hear what she had to say. “Changed?”

“He really hasn’t told you?” Eleanor suppressed a sigh, her attention wavering from the man passing their table to Harry’s curious expression. “He’s gay.”

Surprisingly, that didn’t come off as a shock to Harry. With Louis’ flamboyant personality and simply the way he acted around Harry almost made it obvious he preferred men. And that almost made Harry feel better about this situation, as complicated as it was. The real question though: was that the reason for the breakup?

“Unless of course that’s just more of an excuse to get away from me,” Eleanor continued, shrugging, her words fluid and she sounded so sure of herself.

Harry heaved a sigh, the tension in the room clouding him, choking him. And the next words that escaped him had him questioning why he’d said it. “It’s not my fault, you know.”

“When did I say it was?” Eleanor shared his confused expression, and she leaned into the table, nearing the other boy. “I’m not telling you this to pick a fight with you, hell, I don’t even know why I’m telling you anything. Maybe I just need someone to vent to, I dunno, someone who might listen. Maybe that’s why I’m telling you, when you probably don’t even care.”

“What makes you think that?” He blurted, then spoke freely, “I know what you’re going through is hard and all, and I’ve got my own problems to worry about, but… what I’m saying is, I’m always here if you need someone to talk to. I’m willing to listen.” Harry smiled, feeling more comfortable around this girl.

“Thanks,” she flashed him a smile. “And whatever you’re going through,” she said with absolute seriousness, “I can guarantee things will improve soon.”

It was like she knew, but, of course, she didn’t. Eleanor actually wasn’t so bad. And after all, she was Danny’s rightful mother, so maybe it was good that they were getting along. “Would you like to hold him?”

Eleanor nodded, taking Danny from Harry’s hands, setting the baby onto her lap, smiling harmoniously, as if her entire world had eliminated everything but peace and warmth. “At least one good thing came out of this. A bit ironic actually,” she said, referring to Danny, “but still good.”

After picking up his long-awaited coffee and waving goodbye to his new friend, Harry returned home, his couch anxiously awaiting him. He set Danny into his crib, deciding a nap would be best for the two of them. He then ran to the couch, picking up the remote. He flipped through channels, but his attention went to Niall who still hadn’t come home. Considering it was past two o’clock and Niall still wasn’t home, Harry couldn’t avoid worrying about him.

His attempts of calling his boyfriend failed incredibly, going straight to voicemail. Leaving a quick message, he assured himself that it wasn’t even three yet and Niall had every right to be out and about as he pleased, and Harry wasn’t going to stop him. Maybe he’d stayed afterwards, or maybe even made some friends.

The television screen went red and a severe thunderstorm warning was announced for southern England, which was luckily far away from Doncaster. Harry wasn’t a big fan of storms so he was especially relieved to hear this. He let out a deep sigh, relaxing his muscles. His eyes shut within seconds and he hadn’t realised simply speaking to Eleanor had purely exhausted him.

He awoke to the sound of an explosion, and he nearly fell off the couch. Niall turned into an alpaca? Harry rubbed his head, and he frowned trying to recall the odd dream. Apparently Niall had gotten so hungry that he’d somehow shifted into an alpaca, and the lack of detail confused Harry even more.

He pulled out his phone, checking the time, and his mouth nearly dropped. It was seven o’clock; he’d slept for about five hours. Why was he so tired lately? With the amount of sleep he’d gotten lately, he was surprised he wasn’t the one to have given birth to Danny.

While his cell was out, he gave Niall another ring, and as expected, there was no response. The thunder crackled again and he heard Danny crying from the distance. He fled from the couch to grab his son, and some blankets. Harry finally settled himself and Danny onto the couch, piling the blankets around them to shield them from the world.

He decided he couldn’t take it anymore. He was scared, lonely, and just downright bored. Harry finally gave in.

 

From: Harry (19:06)

I feel like a prat right now but I’m dying of boredom as I’m sure you are too… wanna hang out? :)

 

From: Louis (19:07)

Aww you’re bored? Thats cute. How bout I let you drown in your misery instead? xx

 

From: Harry (19:07)

Thanks mate. I can always count on you

 

From: Louis (19:08)

Feelings mutual! I’ll be there in ten :)

 

From: Harry (19:09)

Can’t wait .x

 

Harry left Danny on the couch, flying from the couch and to the door, unlocking it so Louis could come inside as soon as possible. He wouldn’t want him to get soaked by the rain, and frankly, Harry was too lazy to get up again. He piled himself and Danny in blankets again, trying to stay brave as thunder crackled outside.

A few minutes later, the door flew open, and Louis barged in, slamming the door behind him. His eyes found Harry’s and he smiled weakly. “Wrong house, sorry.” Louis turned back around, his eyes on the door, and Harry giggled, running from the couch to pull Louis there with him.

“You’re not going anywhere.”

Louis was dressed rather casual today, not that he didn’t look any less attractive. He was wearing a long-sleeve shirt, the sleeves a dull shade of red, the rest of the shirt was best described as beige. He was wearing grey sweatpants and a beanie, and all in all, he looked incredible and too good to be real.

He seemed to notice how Harry had surrounded himself with blankets, and how he was clinging onto Danny as if his life depended on it. “Scared of the storm?”

Harry scoffed. “Yeah right.”

“You sure?” Louis’ face beamed, and he moved in closer to the other boy. “I can hold you.”

Harry tried to ignore the shivers that were traveling down his spine, and reminded himself that Louis was only teasing him. It didn’t mean anything. He rolled his eyes. “I’m not a child, Lou.”

“But you do have one. Is he scared of thunder too?”

“Shut up,” Harry emitted a few chuckles as he threw a pillow at Louis, but he found himself clinging closer to Louis when the sound of thunder filled the room. The only weird part was, he could have sworn Louis was clinging to him too.

“So where’s Niall?”

Harry shrugged, honestly thinking of his whereabouts. “He hasn’t been home all day. I’m a bit worried.”

“Have you tried calling him?”

“Yeah, he hasn’t answered.”

Louis craned his head forward, then slumped back onto the couch, his leg leaning against Harry’s, his eyes beaming at the baby in his lap. He set his hand on Harry’s leg and Harry looked up immediately. “I’m sure he’s okay.”

And then the loudest noise put their conversation to a close, and Harry threw himself in Louis’ arms, absolutely startled by the sound, and Louis just took it, patting him on the back. And surprisingly, his teasing had stopped.

“Let’s blast some tunes, yeah? To get your mind off the storm. Do you like Ed Sheeran?”

“Of course, man,” Harry said as if that was the most obvious thing in the world. “He’s like the ginger Jesus.”

“He’s the ginger Jesus,” Louis corrected him. His eyes scanned the room, and it was a wonder how he wasn’t doing anything about Harry who was still holding onto him with fear. “Got a speaker anywhere?”

“Yeah, next to the telly.” He nodded, watching as Louis left the couch, feeling an empty space right away. He didn’t let that bother him, though. “I saw Eleanor at Starbucks today.”

“Wow, she really loves that place.”

Harry laughed, “Yeah, she’s actually really nice.”

“Yeah,” Louis said with a shrug, still fumbling around with the speaker. “She can be, I guess.”

“We talked about you,” the words somehow escaped him.

Louis shot him a look that said ‘really?’ but then he responded with, “We’re not getting back together, if that’s what she put you up to.”

“I know, I know. I’m just saying, she said a few things.”

“Like what?” Louis stopped what he was doing and looked at Harry with an expression that he couldn’t unravel. 

Like the fact that you’re gay and you still haven’t told me, was what he wanted to say. Instead,“Just that she misses you, and how great you were – are.”

“Oh.” Louis’ attention went back to the speaker and within seconds, a familiar song started to play. (x) “You’ve got great acoustics.”

“This is my favorite song by him.”

“Me too,” Louis agreed, and Harry tried to stop smiling to himself like an idiot. “Give me love like her,” he began to sing, staring at Harry as the lyrics surpassed him. “’Cause lately I’ve been waking up alone.”

Harry was surprised, to say the least. Louis’ voice was quite raspy, but also a bit high-pitched when he sang. He could’ve sworn he was either a singer in disguise, or had been in theatre in high school, since his voice sounded very musical-like, and very beautiful. 

“You sing, don’t you, Harry?”

“A little.”

“Sing with me.”

“What?” Harry looked astounded, his eyes bulging out of his eyes. “No.”

“Please?” Louis pouted with pleading eyes, but it wasn’t enough for Harry to give in.

“No.”

Louis heaved a breathy sigh. “You leave me no choice.” Before Harry had time to react upon his words, Louis was on top of him, his hands everywhere, tickling him all over the place, and Harry was begging him to stop, his sides aching from laughing so hard.

“You’re setting a bad example for Danny, haha! Stop it, Louis!”

“Not until you start singing.” Louis’ hand traced over his stomach and to his sides, now tickling him vigorously and they had both ended up on the ground, laughing like there was no tomorrow.

“I can’t sing if you’re tickling me!”

And just like that the tickling had ended, but his hands hadn’t left Harry. He burned under his touch, and smiled with Louis hovering over him. “Give a little time to me, we’ll burn this out,” he started to sing. “We’ll play hide and seek to turn this around. All I want is the taste that your lips allow.”

“My my, my my… give me love,” Louis sang, still staring down at Harry.

“My my, my my… give me love,” they sang together, their voices playing together harmoniously, and Harry couldn’t believe how great they sounded together. Almost like they complimented each other. Their voices, he means.

Music continued to blast in the room, and they had gotten so involved in their conversation, that soon enough they didn’t even notice they’d gone through the entire album. Harry was smiling, the happiest he’d been in a long time. All that stress he’d been feeling lately had vanished, leaving him with nothing but bliss. Was that from simply being around Louis?

The album had started to play from the start again and Louis and Harry piled their bodies against the couch, Danny laying in front of them, rolling around and making little noises, very adorable overall.

“He looks just like you,” Harry commented, tracing a finger over Danny’s cheek, admiring the way his facial structure resembled Louis’.

“Cheeky and handsome?”

Harry shrugged his shoulders, chuckling agreeably. “He is quite the charmer. Look, he’s even growing hair.” He grinned at Louis but noticed that the man didn’t look as happy as he did five minutes ago, and he kind of understood why. “You know, he’s still your son, despite what the papers say.”

“I’m his birth father,” Louis told him, his voice soft yet it had an edge to it. “Realistically speaking, he’s yours and Niall’s now.” Wow, he almost sounded… disappointed?

“Speaking of which, he’s still gone.”

“Try calling him again,” Louis insisted, sounding a bit more cheerful, and Harry was filled with joy because maybe Louis really cared about him.

He pulled out his phone, which read that it was almost nine o’clock, meaning Niall hadn’t been home in seven hours. Despite the fun Harry was having with Louis, he was still worried about Niall’s whereabouts. He could be in trouble for all he knew. And the worry only grew when it went to voicemail yet again.

“He didn’t pick up,” Harry sighed, setting his phone down on the coffee table.

“Well, let’s just relax, yeah? I’m sure he’s fine.” Louis threw his body on the couch and Harry tossed himself around the other boy, throwing an arm over his shoulder instantaneously, the action almost automatic.

The Bachelor was playing on the telly and Harry was actually getting caught up with the show, and he almost forgot about the man sitting beside him. Louis had gotten up to grab some juice and when he returned, Harry found himself pulling the beanie off his head.

“Whatcha hiding in there?” He giggled, pulling the beanie onto his own head. “Hmm. Quite cozy.” Harry then noticed Louis’ eyes which hadn’t left him since he’d stolen his hat. “What?”

“Nothing,” Louis blinked hard. “It just – it looks nice.”

A smile plastered on Harry’s lips and he threw his head against Louis’ shoulder, in a completely platonic fashion. The telly was still blaring and there was the distinct sound of rain pouring outside, which was strangely calming. And suddenly sitting there with Louis seemed the best decision he’d ever made.

Harry was so caught up with the moment that he didn’t realise Louis was leaning onto him as well, and it was all so mesmerising and perfect that his eyes were getting tired from staring at the screen. He focused all his attention to this moment and this moment only that as he fell asleep, he paid no attention to his phone vibrating on the coffee table.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Louis and Eleanor gave their baby up for adoption, they never expected the new parents to be two males. They also didn’t expect Louis to fall in love with one of them.

Thursday

 

“Where were you last night?” Harry dropped himself on the couch, staring intently at his boyfriend.

“Hanging out with some friends,” he said immediately. “Sorry I came back so late.” Niall smiled sadly, then his expression grew more tense when Harry pulled out his phone.

 

From: Louis (21:46)

Meet me at Pompeo’s xx

 

Harry kept from smiling since Niall was sitting next to him. Pompeo’s was a pizza restaurant. Did Louis want to eat before the movie? That almost sounded like a date… Harry shook his head mentally. There was no way this was a date. Besides, Louis did not like him like that, despite how much Harry wanted him to.

“Why was Louis here yesterday?”

Harry froze for a moment. How did Niall know Louis had been here? Then he remembered they had fallen asleep together on the couch. If Niall saw that, he was sure to suspect something…

He finally answered, “I invited him over because, you know, my boyfriend wasn’t here to distract me from thunder which you know I’m deathly afraid of.”

Niall’s eyebrows brushed together, forming a fr0wn. “So you went and asked him to come over?”

“Why not, Niall?” Now Harry was a bit angry, because, come on, this was unfair. “Is it so bad that I want to hang out with someone else for a change? You can’t be the only one with a social life.”

Niall’s life seemed to flash before his eyes. “What do you mean?” Why did he sound so scared?

“You go to college, you’re gone half the time and I’m bored as hell,” Harry explained. “It’s not like Danny’s not fun to be around, but I need to socialise too, you know? I can’t lock myself up like this.”

Niall shook his head, understandably. “I just… I’m worried, Harry.”

“Worried about what? It’s not like I’m replacing you with him,” he patted Niall on the arm reassuringly. “You know better than to think that.” The real question was, did Harry know better than that?

“I know. I’m sorry I get so easily jealous. I just don’t want to lose you…”

Harry wasn’t going to lie. That last sentence made him feel absolutely horrid about everything. Why was he so guilty? Just because he liked another man that didn’t mean anything was going on. And yet, why did it feel that way?

He forced a smile. “You won’t. I promise.”

Niall returned his smile and moved closer, pressing their lips together. Harry tried his best to lose himself in the kiss, but that guilty feeling resurfaced along with the thought of Louis’ face, and he couldn’t find himself enjoying it. Niall had his tongue inside his mouth, but Harry was unable to return the action, and when Niall’s hand moved down to his waist, palming him through the fabric, Harry had to pull himself away because he just wasn’t feeling it.

“I have to go.”

Niall frowned, straightening his shirt as he repositioned himself on the couch. “But it’s almost ten…”

“Yeah,” Harry moved off the couch and sat down on the ground, getting his shoes on. “I’ll be back around two.”

Niall tilted his head in confusion, looking slightly irritated. “Where on earth could you possibly be going?”

“Avengers.”

“Let me guess, Louis-”

“Does it matter?” Harry cutting him off, instantly regretted even telling Niall the truth if he was going to freak out like this.

“No, I’m just saying… It’s your night off, I don’t have school tomorrow… I wanted to do something special,” he smiled sheepishly, his eyes downcast with disappointment in his facial expression.

“I’m sorry, maybe later…” Harry tried to sound as convincing as he could, then started for the door. “See you later.”

~

Louis crossed his legs, leaning back on the bench. He had been waiting patiently outside of the restaurant waiting for Harry to show up. He was fighting the urge to text Harry again since he hadn’t responded to the first text, and Louis had this fear that Harry forgot about him. Maybe Louis should text him again. Who knew? Maybe that last text never even sent.

He heaved a sigh, telling himself to remain calm, that Harry would show sooner or later. He was half convinced that he was only kidding himself, but then he saw a familiar figure emerging from the parking lot.

He grinned instantly, standing up from where he had sat. “I thought you stood me up.”

“Me?” Harry gestured to himself, his eyes widened. “I would never!” His lips crept up to a grin and his eyes were scanning the area. “So what are we doing here, eh?”

“I just thought we’d want to eat something beforehand. I get a bit grumpy when I’m hungry.”

“You? Grumpy?” Harry chuckled. Louis took a moment to scan over what Harry was wearing. A simple white t-shirt with blue jeans. It was casual, and yet there was something about the way his shirt tugged against his skin that sent chills down Louis’ spine. “Well, this is a good idea then. I haven’t been here in forever.”

“Well, you haven’t been out much either…”

“Hey!” Harry elbowed Louis in the stomach, the two of them giggling. “You’re right though.”

“It’s worth it though, isn’t it?”

Harry frowned, probably confused at the random comment. “What do you mean?”

Louis clarified, “You live a pretty satisfying life, mate. You’ve got the perfect boyfriend, the perfect son. It all seems so incredible while my life is probably pathetic and not worth mentioning.” He shrugged, looking down.

“My life isn’t perfect…” the other boy trailed off. “And your life is great, I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he said with a smirk. “You have the nicer flat.”

“Can’t argue with that,” Louis smirked back at him. “So are we going to bicker out here all night or get some food?” And with a final nod of approval from Harry, the two boys seated themselves inside, laughing as they looked through the menu.

“How about we order a large pizza?” Harry suggested, pointing to one of the specials. “You’re not a vegetarian, are you?”

“No way in hell, I love my meat too much!”

“Same,” Harry said with a grin. “Okay, so do you want to get something simple or take a risk and get something exotic?”

Louis laughed, amused in how the pitch of Harry’s voice had dropped when he said ‘take a risk’. “Doesn’t matter. I kinda wanna get pineapple, if you don’t mind.”

“I’ve never tried it…” Harry’s face flushed, and Louis couldn’t deny that it was absolutely adorable the way he looked so embarrassed. “But I’m up for it.”

Louis didn’t bother hiding his smile when Harry’s face perked up after they ordered. Harry was telling him about his day and how Danny had barfed all over his favorite shirt. Louis, nodding and laughing the whole conversation, didn’t feel the need to say much other than “yeah” and “I see” because simply listening to Harry’s voice, low and sexy, was enough.

When the pizza came, Harry was hesitant at first to take a bite, but Louis convinced him that he wouldn’t start eating until he did. And once Harry had started, he continued to eat like there was no tomorrow.

Harry nodded his head, chewing on his fourth slice. “This is actually really good, I’m surprised.”

“Well if it was horrible, they wouldn’t be serving it, would they?” Louis took a sip of his water, staring at the empty box in front of them. He checked the time on his phone. “Are you done yet? It’s close to eleven.”

“What’s the rush?” Harry protested after swallowing his last bite. “It doesn’t start until midnight, hence why it’s called the midnight premiere.”

Louis smiled. “Take it from me, the theatres fill up quickly.”

He cocked an eyebrow. “Theatres?”

Louis nodded. Wow, Harry really hadn’t been out much. “You have no idea how many people are dying to see this movie. Especially girls who only come to see the hot guys.”

“Then what’s my excuse?” Harry smirked, setting his elbow on the table.

“Oh… - right,” Louis felt his cheeks heat up, remembering that Harry was gay. How could he have possibly forgotten that? “Sorry, I just thought that-”

Harry cut him off, after pushing his chair forward. “Just because I’m taken it doesn’t mean I can’t keep my eyes open.”

Louis thought his jaw dropped then. He had to remind himself that Harry was implying that he could find actors attractive, not him. “That wasn’t what I was going to say,” he said with a chuckle, “but yeah, I agree.”

They were both smiling at each other, as if they were both aware of the other meaning. Louis tried not to think about beautiful Harry was in that moment. Not looked, was. Everything about the twenty-two year old man was so attractive. Even the little things. The way his face would light up when Louis tried to be funny. The way he would sometimes freak out when things didn’t go his way. The way the left side of his mouth would creep up when he smiled, and let’s not even start on that fucking dimple. Even the way he chewed his food was adorable…

“So we should probably go,” Harry announced, putting an end to Louis’ internal thoughts. He would just have to save them for later.

“Okay, let me just pay for our food.” Louis started to get out his wallet.

Harry set his hand on the table. “You don’t have to, I can-”

“No, no. It’s fine.”

“Louis-”

Louis shook his head, chuckling. “We are not seriously arguing over this, are we?”

Harry let out a sigh. “Here, we’ll divide it up. You pay for half, I’ll pay the rest.”

“Fine,” Louis said in agreement. “But I’m paying at the movies.” And then he stood up before Harry could argue.

It was an interesting car ride to the movies. Harry had his hand over the button that controlled the radio and overplayed pop music was blaring through the speakers while Harry tried to sing along with it. Louis had his window open, wanting others to see how obnoxious they acted, and normally this wouldn’t have made Louis so excited, but maybe it was because of Harry.

“Holy shit, is there even anywhere to park?” Harry said with a groan, pressing a hand to his forehead.

Louis’ eyes searched the parking lot, watching as cars passed them by, looking for a parking space as well. Then he found an open spot. “Oh, there’s one!” He had barely started to pull in, when another car got in his way, cutting him off. Louis slammed his foot on the brakes. He honked his horn and groaned with much distress. “Arsehole!”

Louis heard Harry sigh deeply as he started driving again. Then Harry hollered, “Quick, pull into that one!” He pointed to their left where there was indeed an open parking space.

He sighed in relief as he pulled his key out of the ignition, reaching into his pocket to take out the tickets. “I took the liberty to buying your ticket, you’re welcome.”

Harry moved to the side, giving himself access to his pocket, “Let me pay you back-”

“Why are you so considerate all of a sudden?” Louis grinned, pulling Harry’s hand away from his pocket.

Harry punched him in the arm. “It’s called being polite, something you wouldn’t know about.”

“Thanks,” Louis nodded his head in shame, pretending to look hurt. “But seriously, there’s no need to pay me back.”

“Honestly, Lou. You need the money more than me,” Harry convinced him, holding a five dollar bill in front of him.

Louis blushed, taking the money from his hands. “We should probably go, yeah?”

They entered the building with smiles plastered on their faces. They were at the concessions, deciding what to get, and Louis was internally debating whether they should even get anything, considering the expensive prices.

“I’m buying popcorn against your will,” Harry murmured in his ear, and Louis laughed.

He was about to protest but then he remembered what Harry had said. “Get me a Dr. Pepper.”

“So much for wanting to pay,” Harry chuckled, turning away from Louis to get their stuff.

Louis shook his head, laughing along with him.

Harry turned around, a straw in hand. He pushed the straw through the lid, taking a sip of the drink. He smirked, “Hope you don’t mind sharing.”

Louis frowned, chuckling. “Why didn’t you get a drink?”

“Didn’t feel like it.” Harry shrugged, taking another sip.

“Well don’t drink all of it!” Louis took the Dr. Pepper from Harry’s hands and pressed his lips to the straw, trying to smile at the fact that they had indirectly kissed.

“You’re not worried about cooties?”

“I got tested, I’ll be okay,” Louis assured him, causing Harry to burst out laughing as they headed to theatre four. When they walked in, it was relatively filled, just as Louis had predicted, but they were about to find a place to sit in the middle of the theatre. The entire row was empty too, so that was a bonus.

“So tell me what to expect,” Harry demanded after the two of them had settled themselves in their seats. “Will people be screaming? Should I have taken aspirin before I came?”

“Now you sound like an old man,” Louis rolled his eyes, grinning. “There’s usually not any screaming, just lots of chatter beforehand.”

“So we should be good then.”

Louis reached for the cup holder, taking a sip of their drink. Then he wasn’t sure why he asked… “How’s Niall?”

“He’s… fine?” Harry seemed surprised that Louis had asked him that, of all things.

“I mean, are you sure he didn’t want to come with you?” He suddenly felt bad for taking Harry away from his boyfriend when all of this had felt like a date for him. “You did tell him you were going, right?”

“Yeah, he’s cool with it,” Harry told him, and that shut Louis up for a while. They sat in silence for a matter of minutes, and Louis was trying to forget about the insignificance keeping them from being together.

When the previews started playing, the theatre was filled with cheers, and people were making commentary that made the two boys burst into hysterics. They even made some side comments which elicited laughs from others.

The movie finally started and Louis was staring at the screen with much focus. He’d been waiting for this movie to come out in forever and he was grateful that he was fortunate enough to get to come tonight. He was in fact so interested in the movie that he didn’t even notice his hands were brushing against Harry’s when reaching for the popcorn. When he did, though, he moved his hand immediately and looked back at the screen, hoping Harry hadn’t noticed.

Louis eventually left his hand behind the cup holder, averting his attention back to the movie. They were about fifteen minutes in, and it was already getting intense. He repositioned his hand so that it wasn’t hitting their drink, not really appreciating having something cold or wet against his skin.

Despite all his focus on the movie, Louis did notice that Harry had reached over to pick up their drink, their skin brushing against each other’s for a brief second. He expected nothing more after that but then he felt a hand enclose over his and the way Harry’s hand was pressing down made it obvious that this was no accident.

Louis let out a shaky sigh, his heart stammering in his chest at the contact. All his attention had left the screen at this point and his heart was beating and it sounded something like HarryHarryHarry and he was gulping carefully, afraid that Harry could hear it.

It became clear to him that Harry wasn’t going to move his hand anytime soon, so he adjusted himself to his touch, and it was getting easier for him to breathe and refocus his attention to the movie. He was almost upset, he had missed a bit of the movie and wasn’t sure about the plot anymore. Then Harry moved his hand away, an empty feeling lingering over Louis’ hand. He ate some popcorn to try and calm his nerves, but not even that could steady his racing heartbeat.

Their hands stayed to themselves after that, for the most part.

“That was fucking incredible,” Louis said to Harry when they left the theatre. “I’m not even kidding. This might just top The Dark Knight.”

“Hey, the popcorn lasted the whole movie,” Harry pointed out after throwing their trash away. “I usually finish it during the previews.”

“Of course you do,” Louis smiled, patting the other boy on the shoulder. They exited the building and right away, Louis felt trickles of water hitting them from above. “My hair!”

Harry shook his head disapprovingly, laughing. “You’re such a girl!”

“Does that mean you don’t like me?” Louis wanted to slap himself in the face. Did he really just say that? Fuck.

Harry frowned, the grin still showing in his expression. “I still like girls you know, not like that though, but-”

“Not exactly what I meant…” Louis continued to smile, looking down as they continued to walk.

“What?” Harry stopped walking, and Louis noticed right away, stopping as well. “What did you mean?”

Harry was now staring at him with such curiosity and Louis was staring back and the situation was already so overwhelming. It was bad enough that Harry’s eyes were the greenest they’d ever been, and the awkward eye contact didn’t seem… awkward. 

“W-we’d better go,” he managed to get out after clearing his throat.

“No,” Harry set his hand on Louis’ shoulder, and Louis stopped walking but didn’t turn around. “Tell me what you meant.”

Louis finally turned his body around, facing the other boy who had a blank look in his face. “I-I just…-” Fuck, fuck, FUCK, Louis mentally swore at himself. His words replayed in his head. Does that mean you don’t like me? That definitely counted as a confession. Great.

“You what?” Harry moved closer to him, crossing his arms, demanding to know.

“I…” Louis started to say, but then the realisation hit that he didn’t have anything to say. Instead he realised that there was still rain pouring down on them, and they were standing close. But was it too close? Harry’s eyes, green and confused, stared deep into his, as if they could read his every thought. His eyes went down to his lips, the one attribute Louis had been trying to avoid thinking about. But who was he kidding? Every time he set his eyes upon them, he desired to kiss them more than anything. And so this time, he took the chance.

He pressed their foreheads together, breathing deeply as he eased his way closer to Harry. Harry’s breaths were equally short and shaky and Louis had to swallow a mouthful of courage before he took the final jump and connect their lips. Harry’s lips were everything he’d imagined them to be, and so much more. They fit around his perfectly, feeling warmer and softer as the kiss prolonged, and it wasn’t too long before Harry was actually kissing him back. Louis heard Harry moan against his lips as their tongues slid into each other’s mouths. Louis was just getting into it, enjoying the new sensation that was filling his every nerve, when he felt Harry pull away.

He opened his mouth to speak, surprised that Harry had pulled away so soon. Louis was so taken away from that kiss that it took him a moment to acknowledge that Harry’s face was downcast. He watched with confusion as Harry started to take off in the other direction.

“Wait!” Louis hollered, running after him. “Harry!” He finally caught up to him, breathless and absolutely puzzled. “What’s wrong? Why did you run off?”

“Why did you kiss me?”

The question startled Louis and it took him a second to prepare a response. “You didn’t seem to be complaining.” Harry didn’t say anything after that, simply standing still, and Louis didn’t notice Harry was crying until he heard his sobs. He moved closer but Harry backed away further.

“I’m sorry,” Harry finally said, his voice shaky, his lips trembling.

“I’m not.”

“Louis, please don’t do this,” he begged, but that wasn’t going to stop Louis from saying what he had to say.

“Harry. I know I make a lot of mistakes. I know I fuck up all the time and I’m fucking up now, but will you please just hear me out?”

Harry crossed his arms, awaiting for his reply.

Louis heaved out a sigh, satisfied that Harry was giving him a chance to speak. “I like you, okay? I like you a lot. There. I said it.”

There was a long, awkward silence after that and Louis didn’t know what to say to make it less awkward. He was expecting Harry to either run off or fall into his arms and they would live happily ever after. He silently prayed for the alternate.

Louis finally heard him sigh. Harry dropped his hands to his side, and looked at the ground. “I think you’d better go.”

“Harry-”

“Please! Just go!” Harry cried out, throwing his hands in the air. More tears streamed down his face and Louis wanted desperately to say something to make this stop. He just wanted Harry to be happy again…

“Please…” Louis begged, wanting Harry to come to his senses that he felt the same way. He wanted to believe that Harry wasn’t pushing him away and he had dropped himself on the ground, trying to hold back the tears that were threatening to spill out of his eyes. “Please, Harry.”

Harry heaved an irritated sigh, which came out a bit shaky. “Just… leave me alone.”

Louis’ vision had started to blur as sobs escaped him, and he was unable to stop crying. The rain continued to pour on him, and he was almost expecting Harry to move closer and comfort him, or tell him that he loved him and everything would be okay.

But then he looked up and saw that Harry was gone.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Louis and Eleanor gave their baby up for adoption, they never expected the new parents to be two males. They also didn’t expect Louis to fall in love with one of them.

Sunday

 

Confused and upset were a few words to describe how Louis felt about everything. Drumming his fingers against the wooden table, he fought to keep Harry barricaded from his thoughts, but as usual, his strength was failing him. More-so because Louis felt absolutely worthless knowing that he had ruined their friendship, or whatever they had. And he could only pray that Harry would come to his senses, but he was doubtful.

“For fuck’s sake, mate,” Zayn said after sighing loudly, “Drink your bloody tea and quit moping.”

“Sorry.” Louis pressed his lips to the cup, but set it down almost instantly. What was the point in drinking anyway if it wasn’t going to help him forget?

“What happened anyway?”

“Nothing,” Louis shook his head, not really wanting to discuss this with Zayn, even though he had come to him for advice. “It doesn’t matter anyway. He hates me.”

“I highly doubt that.” Zayn raised an eyebrow, pushing his cup of tea further to the middle of the table. “Tell me.”

Louis sighed, eyeing the patterns on the table as a distraction. “I kissed him and he ran off.”

“So?” Zayn leaned inward, now looking at the other boy with pure concern. “Why didn’t you run after him?”

“I did.”

“And?”

“He basically told me to fuck off,” Louis finished, remembering the dreadful scene.

“And?”

“And what, Zayn?” He was surprised that Zayn assumed there was more to the story when it was bad enough, but maybe Zayn had to have been there to truly understand. “He hates me, I just know it.”

“I doubt that.”

“He would’ve at least tried to talk to me,” Louis argued, biting down the inside of his cheek. “It’s been three days.”

Zayn assured him, “Maybe he needs time to think. You haven’t tried talking to him?”

“I’ve texted him a few times,” Louis breathed a heavy sigh, fumbling with his hands under the table. “I don’t understand, I’ve apologised a thousand times and he still won’t talk to me. I’d go over to his house but I’m afraid because Niall’s there, fuck, Niall probably knows everything by now.” He dropped his arms on the table, groaning. “Fuck, Zayn, I ruined everything.”

“You don’t know that. Maybe Niall is the problem here.”

Louis frowned, interested in this new theory. “Niall?”

Zayn shrugged, “Harry’s still with him, right? Maybe he’s torn because of him.”

“Yeah, but in order for that to happen, he would have to like me.”

“Just give him some time,” the black-haired boy advised him, “He’ll come around eventually.”

Louis shook his head, completely doubting his best friend. “I don’t think so.” He sighed, dropping his head. “I just… I thought he actually wanted me,” Louis smiled sheepishly, shaking his head sadly, “but it was all mixed signals and I fell for every bit of it. I should have known better than to get my hopes up, hell, I should have seen this coming.”

“Louis-” Zayn began but Louis cut him off by laughing.

“I’m like a fucking teenage girl.”

“Well you are making a big deal out of nothing.”

“Fuck off, Zayn,” Louis shot him a glare, rolling his eyes. He pushed his tea away and looked across the room, suddenly aware of how tired his eyes were, let alone himself. Now that he thought about it, when was the last time he properly slept?

Louis sighed, blinking hard, attempting to rid himself of exhaustion. “I could really use a beer.”

“I have a better idea.”

“If it’s going to Harry’s to apologise, I’d suggest you think of something else,” Louis snapped at him, honestly wanting to just forget about Harry.

“No,” Zayn rolled his eyes with much irritation. “When’s the last time you went clubbing?”

Louis opened his mouth to speak, but he found he couldn’t remember how long it’s been since he’d actually gone out and gotten drunk. Quite a while, he was sure.

“Right, that’s what I thought. What do you say we go tonight?” Zayn suggested, and Louis was already shaking his head slowly. “You look like you could use a little bit of fun. Hell, a good hookup might help you get over Harry.”

“But…” Louis didn’t think he could ever get over Harry. He didn’t want to get over him.

“C’mon, mate.”

“Look, I know you just want to go for yourself, but I’m fine, really-”

“Do you want to lay around wallowing in misery forever or have some fun for a change?” And when he didn’t receive an answer, he stood from his seat, leaning against the counter. He shot Louis a pleading look. “Trust me, you’ll thank me later.”

“Are you sure-” Louis began to argue, then thought about Zayn’s words. He didn’t want to move on, per se, but he didn’t exactly want to be sad for the rest of his life. So he gave in. “Fine.”

Louis should have known Zayn would take him to a gay club. He wouldn’t lie, he was both scared and excited. Scared because this was new and he hadn’t a clue of what to expect. He was excited, and relieved, that this wasn’t a regular bar, because he wasn’t sure he could find his place with straight people. Especially if he was going to hook up.

“This is… different.” It really was. As Zayn and Louis progressed further into the building, Louis observed couples all over each other, girls on other girls and boys on other boys. There was music playing, which could be identified as techno or dance, and there was even some dancing.

“Just thought I’d change it up,” Zayn said with a shrug. “It’s a good way to find out if you’re really gay.” The two of them sat down on the stools and Zayn greeted the bartender with a smile, asking for ten shots of vodka.

“I hope we’re sharing,” Louis said, almost smiling as the glasses were set in front of them. He took the first shot, swallowing carefully and trying to forget the pain in his throat. He took a couple more and it was finally brought to his attention that Zayn was actually having a conversation with the bartender.

Zayn looked back at Louis, smiling, obviously already drunk. “Hey, he’s cute.” He cocked his head, gesturing to somewhere behind Louis. “The guy in the blue.”

It took Louis a second but then he saw the brunette man, smiling and laughing with what looked to be his friends. He was pretty attractive, he wasn’t going to deny that. But… he just wasn’t Harry.

“Why don’t you go talk to him?”

“I dunno…” Louis trailed off, looking back at him. “Well, he is hot.”

“Then go for it!” Zayn patted him on the back encouragingly, then Louis stood up and made his way to the other side of the room. He walked up to the stranger confidently, forcing himself to smile.

The man turned around, smiling flirtatiously at Louis once he acknowledged him. “Do I know you from somewhere?”

Louis laughed. “I doubt that. I’m Louis.” He held his hand out, almost regretting it because he wasn’t sure if he was being too formal.

Surprisingly, the stranger shook his hand. “Josh.” He flashed Louis an open-mouthed smile, pulling his hand away which seemed to have been there for a moment too long. “You’re really cute, do you come here often?”

“My first time,” Louis said with a grin.

“Interesting. Hey, why don’t you let me buy you a drink?”

Louis found himself laughing for no reason. “No thanks, I’ve had plenty.” Then the music changed into something more upbeat and Louis wanted to lose himself in it. The alcohol in his blood gave way for the confidence to pull Josh into the crowd and wrap himself comfortably onto his waist. “Let’s dance!”

He bounced against the other bodies, the bass pounding below his feet. The beat was coursing through Louis’ blood, making him want to keep dancing forever. It had been so long since he’d done anything remotely close to this, and his mood improved drastically as his body grinded against the other boy’s roughly. Their lips brushed against each other’s a couple of times and Louis shot him a seductive smile, wrapping his arms around Josh’s waist. The adrenaline had his hands touching Josh everywhere and the favour was being returned.

After a while, Louis was a happy mix of horny and sweaty and he had forgotten all about Harry. As his body collided with the other boy’s, the touch meant nothing to him, it did, however, turn him on, and it wasn’t too long later that Josh was pulling him out back, where he proceeded to kiss him aggressively. Louis moaned against his lips as their groins brushed through the fabric. Josh began to kiss further down his body, lifting Louis’ shirt up where he proceeded to lick his chest until his lips traveled down to his waist, carefully opening his fly with his teeth.

A moan left Louis’ mouth when he felt Josh’s hand encircling him, firm and covered with pre-cum. As Josh’s hand worked his length, he found himself groaning at the sensations that came over him, and he came onto the other boy’s hands a moment later. Josh was smiling at him, and Louis’ face turned a bright shade of pink and he flew out of there in complete embarrassment.

Okay, that was way better than Eleanor’s handjobs. And that was sad, considering that had been a complete stranger. The thoughts left his brain as his inner voice told him to find Zayn and go home before Josh started looking for him.

His eyes wandered around the room, his mind getting hazy when he tried to recall where he’d last seen his friend. He started to make his way to where the two of them had sat at first, but then he felt an arm sling over his shoulder.

“Where were you, mate? Getting laid?” Zayn chuckled, his words slurring together.

Louis rolled his eyes. “No.”

“Let’s find out if you’re really gay, yeah?”

Before Louis even had time to react, Zayn smashed their lips together roughly, immediately proceeding to stick his tongue into his mouth. Louis instantly retracted, pulling himself away from his friend, startled and unbelievably confused. “What the fuck- you’re drunk,” he realised, as if the smell of alcohol lingering from his breath wasn’t obvious.

“No shit,” Zayn laughed, grabbing onto Louis’ arm. “Dance with me, Lou-Lou!”

Louis snatched his arm away, his eyebrows brushed together in irritation. “How about we leave instead?”

“But I was just starting to have fun! Don’t kill the mood!”

Louis rolled his eyes, wishing Zayn wasn’t such a lightweight drunk. “You killed it when you kissed me.”

“Now you know how Harry feels, huh?”

“What?” Louis gasped in surprise, absolutely bewildered that Zayn had actually said that when he knew Louis was still hurting. “Why would you even say that?”

Zayn emitted a laugh, setting his hand on Louis’ shoulder, which Louis proceeded to push away. “Come on, Louis. We all know Harry never liked you.”

Louis gulped, fighting the urge to punch Zayn in the face. “Thanks for the fucking reminder, I really needed that.”

“Jesus Christ,” Zayn rolled his eyes, pressing his palm to his forehead. “Relax, will ya? What’s up your arse today?”

Louis was totally speechless. He couldn’t believe Zayn was acting this way when he had been so kind lately. Granted he was drunk, unless that meant he was actually being honest, which pissed Louis off even more.

“Fuck you, Zayn,” he finally said, picking up his feet and starting to move through the crowd.

“Where are you going?”

“Home,” Louis responded without turning around.

“But you’re my ride!”

“Oh, I think you’ll be just fine,” Louis snapped back, finally pushing past the people in his way. He exited the bar, leaving Zayn there all by himself.

The minute Louis got home, he had no second thoughts as he hurled himself into the kitchen, collapsing onto the floor after poisoning his already intoxicated body with more alcohol. He silently prayed he wouldn’t wake up.

Within a few hours, Louis dealt with the hangover routine, clutching his stomach as toxins flew out of his mouth, and into the sink. He washed away his mess and sank to the ground, panting when he remembered last night’s events. It really didn’t hurt to think about how he’d received a handjob from a total stranger, and gotten into a row with his best friend, but once Harry popped into his mind, his headache grew unbearably horrible and he found himself blacking out again.

When he awoke, he was feeling a little better, physically, that is. He managed to pick himself off the kitchen floor, immediately running to the shower. Louis was sure he’d drink again later, but he couldn’t stand being dirty for too long.

He spent some time jacking off in the shower, simply as an experiment to see if that handjob had been any better, which he most certainly did not think of Harry whilst doing so.

Louis charged his phone since the battery had died yesterday, and when it finally turned on, it showed that he had three missed calls. He almost anticipated it to be Harry but when he saw that all of calls were from Niall, he actually laughed at himself for even thinking that. Then he swore at himself because, fuck, it was Niall.

After pacing the house for a bit, he finally decided to call him back because he was beyond curious. But maybe Louis was freaking out over nothing. Perhaps Niall wanted to see how he was doing, to see if they wanted to hang out – ha, Louis would be kidding himself if he believed that. He already knew he was in deep shit, and it couldn’t possibly get worse.

“Hello?” The Irish accent drawled from the other line.

“Hey, it’s Louis.”

“I know.”

“What?” Louis’ heart skipped a beat.

“Caller ID?”

“Oh! Oh, right. Sorry.” His face flushed and he took a deep breath, trying to calm his nerves. “So you called?”

“Yeah, uh, how are you?”

“I’m fine,” he responded automatically. “And you?” Let’s be honest, he couldn’t care less about Niall’s wellbeing, but he had to act polite if he wanted to stay on his good side. So far, Niall didn’t seem to hate him.

“I’m okay.”

Seeing as the window was open, he finally asked, “How’s Harry?”

“What did you do to him?” Niall immediately snapped at him, then his voice softened. “I’ve never seen him like this.”

Louis nearly fell backwards onto the coffee table. He pressed the phone closer to his ear, now fully focused on the conversation, actually concerned for the boy he wanted to forget. “Seen him like what? Is he okay?”

“He’s a mess. He won’t eat, he won’t sleep. He won’t even talk to me. I know you had something to do with this.” Louis heard him sigh from the other line. “You should’ve just left him alone like I said.”

The guilt was eating Louis alive and he knew he couldn’t hide forever, and it was clear that Harry hadn’t told him. He inhaled and exhaled quickly, so his voice wouldn’t come out shaky. “I may have kissed him…”

Silence.

“I’m really sorry, Niall,” he tried to apologise. “I never wanted it to happen, it just kind of did. And I’m sorry for not listening to you, that was wrong of me. But don’t worry, Harry doesn’t even want to be my friend anymore and I don’t blame him, I…” he paused to take a deep breath. “Could you at least tell him I’m sorry?”

Louis finally heard a small sigh from Niall. “Yeah – I’m hanging up now. Please don’t call here anymore.”

Louis breathed a small air of relief when he heard the line disconnect. At least Niall hadn’t yelled at him. If that was the case, then why did Louis feel absolutely horrid? Maybe because he might have possibly destroyed not only his friendship with Harry, but Niall and Harry’s relationship. And who knew if he could ever visit Danny again?

Louis found himself drinking his feelings again and passing out on the couch, music blasting in his ears, drowning out his thoughts. It didn’t last long though because after a while, he found himself crawling up into a ball and crying silently to himself, remembering how Harry had kissed him on the cheek, and thinking of that only further confused him.

He got tired of this unjustified pattern of alcohol, sleep, vomiting, and crying, and by the third day, he took a stand and started to write again. But after sitting with his computer open for hours, staring blankly at the screen, Louis gave up and proceeded to drink more vodka to remind himself that he was and always will be a failure.

Louis finally got to his bed by the fourth day. He simply lay there, staring at the ceiling, thinking of Harry’s emerald orbs and the first time he’d laid eyes on them. He threw a pillow over his face to cover his sobs. It didn’t help that this only reminded him of that time Harry had let him stay in his bed. The sobs grew louder until he was practically wailing, and eventually he threw his pillow at the wall angrily.

He marched into the living room, finding a notebook and a pen. Louis had an idea, for the first time in days. An idea that might actually help him get over the boy.

He clicked the pen and pressed it against the white sheet, beginning to write:

 

**Dear Harry,**

**I know saying sorry won’t do anything and I’m sorry I can’t do anything to fix this. I ruined everything. Your life, my life, even Niall’s. I hope nothing has changed between you two, hopefully you’ve forgotten all about me now. Please do know I haven’t forgotten about you. I don’t think I could ever forget you, Harry, even if I tried. And believe me, I have.**

**I haven’t known you for very long but you are very special and dear to me, and I don’t know what to do with myself now that you’re gone. You taught me a lot of things. You saved me from an unhealthy relationship, you even brought me closer to my son. I never expected that to happen after giving him up adoption. You made me feel amazing, Harry. I know I didn’t do the same for you and I’m sincerely sorry about that. I’m sorry I ruined our friendship and I’m sorry for all these lame apologies but I can’t say I regret telling you how I feel, or kissing you. I know you want nothing to do with me, and that’s fine, but I will always cherish the fun times we had together. I don’t think I’ve ever had that much fun with anyone in my life and I’m incredibly thankful for everything you’ve done for me.**

**Okay, now I’m literally laughing at myself because I know you’re never going to read this and I’ve been writing it as if you are. So basically I’ve been talking to myself like the bugger I am. But I’m okay with that. At least I’m not bottling anything up.**

**You know, I really wish you the best because you only deserve the best. I can’t guarantee Niall can love you to the same extent, but he really is good for you, or at least, better than me. I’m the one here who deserves to be alone forever because let’s face it. I hurt everyone I get close to one way or another, and that will never change. Maybe it’s because I’m too weird or too crazy or too immature for anyone to handle and that’s why I tend to push people away until there’s nobody left. Frankly, I hardly mind that. My personality is what defines who I am and at least I can hold on to those qualities forever. I’m rambling now and that’s just another trait I’m lucky to have (not really).**

**I just wish I could show you how amazing you are, Harry, how beautiful you are. Everything you do is so beautiful and makes me question how that’s even possible, how one person is capable of making me unbearably happy. I don’t think I can ever prove it to you but I just want you to know that. But of course, you never will.**

**I wasn’t lying when I said I liked you a lot because I do. I might even love you and that fucking scares me because you don’t even like me as a friend and I don’t know what the fuck I’m supposed to do about that. I’ve tried hooking up with other guys, I even kissed Zayn, but I felt nothing. And I don’t think I’ll ever share that special connection with anyone but you. But maybe that’s for the best. I don’t deserve to be happy. You do, and whatever makes you happy makes me happy.**

**Anyway this was dumb so I’ll just leave you with this. I think it was fate that all of this happened. God created Danny so we could meet because I know it’s crazy but maybe we were meant to meet, for whatever reason. Maybe that’s me being the romantic I am, but I really believe that miracles happen, and Danny is more than just a result of a one-night stand. He was born for a reason. I can’t stop myself from putting two and two together and finding the ironies of this entire situation and that obviously doesn’t stop me from thinking of you.**

**I don’t even know how to end this because I have so much more to say. I could write out every emotion I’m feeling and it still wouldn’t be enough. I could write a novel and I’d probably end up writing an entire series. I could paint a picture but I’d run out of paint before getting the chance to finish.**

**Rambling again… I’ll just end it here. They say when you love someone you should let them go, and I guess that’s what doing. But it’s not like I really have a choice, right? I’m really going to miss you, Harry, don’t think I won’t.**

**Love, Louis xx**

 

Louis sighed, wiping away the tears that were pouring down his face and onto the paper, the ink blurring some of the words. He snapped his eyes shut and let himself have a good cry because he desperately needed that. It didn’t last for long though, because eventually sleep deprivation caught up with him and his eyes were starting to sting from the amount of tears he’d shed the past few days.

Louis was left with feelings of worthlessness and emptiness and he wanted more than anything to sleep and dream of better things, if only he wasn’t so afraid of closing his eyes to see Harry and remind himself of what they could have been. He really thought getting his feelings down on paper would help, but it had only worsened things for him.

Instead of sleeping and taking care of his lowering health status, Louis retrieved a bottle of vodka from the fridge, ready to turn his blood into alcohol once again.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Louis and Eleanor gave their baby up for adoption, they never expected the new parents to be two males. They also didn’t expect Louis to fall in love with one of them.

Thursday

 

His eyes snapped open, awakening him from the darkness of his dreams, and into the harsher reality. He reached over to turn off his phone, but his eyes were glued to the name on the screen.

He answered immediately, his heart stammering in his chest. “H-Harry?”

“Yeah, it’s me.”

“What’s-” Louis stopped, rolling himself out of his bed. “What’s up?”

He heard a pause followed by a sigh. “I just wanted to apologise.”

“For what?” He knew that was a dumb question to ask, but he wanted to know if it was important enough for Harry to elaborate.

“Everything.”

Louis frowned, clutching the phone closer to his ear. “What? Why?” For obvious reasons, he answered himself, but there had to have been another reason why Harry called him after waiting a whole week.

“Niall broke up with me,” Harry said after the longest pause ever. He left Louis with no time to react and continued, “and he kicked me out.”

“What?” Louis finally spat out, trying not to gasp.

“I’m fine though, I’m staying with my mum.”

Louis tried to stay under control, but the guilt was hitting his every nerve, and a knot was starting to form in his throat. He knew this was all his fault. He really did ruin everything. He always did.

He clenched his fists, remembering the other significant factor. “What about Danny?”

“Niall took him.”

Louis moved out of his bed, pacing his room anxiously. “He just took him?” He raised his voice, starting to get angry. “Why didn’t you tell me sooner? I could have done something!”

“You’ve done enough,” Harry replied calmly. “Listen, Louis. I’m already saying sorry, please don’t make this any harder-”

“No, you listen!” Louis exploded. “That’s my son that you just gave away. Did you even think that through?”

“You didn’t seem to have a problem giving him away. He’s not even yours anymore.”

Louis fell speechless, falling under Harry’s words. He couldn’t believe he had really said all that after all those times he’d convinced Louis that Danny was still his son. He wasn’t surprised though. In fact, he almost expected this from Harry.

“You know what? Fine. He’s not my son,” Louis decided to admit, letting himself give in to Harry. “You can forget I even gave him life just like how you forgot about me.”

“I never-” Harry started, but Louis cut him off.

“Why did you have to make everything so difficult? Why did you have to ruin it with Niall?” He flicked away the tears that were forming in his eyes. “You just keep living your life, Harry. Fuck promises, fuck commitment, fuck trust, fuck everything.”

“What are you saying?”

“Goodbye, Harry.” Louis hung up the phone, tossing it onto the floor angrily, hoping it had broken so he would never have to listen to Harry’s beautiful voice ever again.

He clenched his fists tightly, unsure of how to release his anger. He flew across the room as angry tears poured down his face. Louis brought his fist to the wall, slamming it with much force that he felt like he was internally bleeding. He fell onto the ground, rolling himself into a fetal position, clutching his hand tightly, checking for any sign of blood. Considering his foolish act, however, Louis couldn’t care less about what happened to him.

There was a half-empty bottle next to him and he let the liquid slip down his throat, thinking of Harry’s curly locks and how he’d never see them again. The adrenaline was still coursing through his blood and he flew to the living room, his eyes finding the letter. He saw the words “Dear Harry” and that was all it took for him to start crumbling it up and tossing it onto the floor. Next to where the letter had sat, Louis found the job resumé he’d picked up the other day.

Well, there was no way he was ever turning that in now. Louis remembered the excitement in Harry’s eyes when he handed him the paper, and that set Louis off instantly, causing him to tear the sheet of paper into shreds. He was torn between wanting to erase every evidence of the boy but the memories were still fresh in his mind and there was no way he could rid himself of them.

With that realisation, Louis was suddenly furious. He just wanted his life back. Before the baby. Before he met the fucking kid. Everything had been so normal and stress-free before that and he wanted that back. But that was impossible now and there was nothing he could do about it.

His hands were shaking and he found himself knocking a lamp over, watching as it smashed to pieces. He burst into tears again, looking at the mess he’d made, knowing he’d done something stupid yet again. When was he ever going to learn?

Louis ran to the medicine cabinet, pacing the kitchen before he made the decision. He wasn’t sure of his intentions, but he found himself tossing a couple of pills into his mouth, swallowing them dry as he cried. He poured a couple more into the palm of his hand, but couldn’t bring himself to swallow them. He didn’t want to end his life. He just wanted the pain to stop.

He grabbed a bottle of beer, drinking away his feelings, in hopes that that might do him some good. Louis found himself stepping outside, trying to remember the last time he’d seen the sunlight. The brightness burned his sleep-deprived eyes and was making his head throb as he continued to drink. Then suddenly everything went hazy. Louis saw the bottle fall from his hands, rolling into the street, then he fell forward and everything went black.

~

Harry picked at his chicken, not terribly hungry after that phone call. He couldn’t get Louis’ voice out of his head, how angry and frustrated he sounded, especially right before he hung up. Harry’s appetite had disappeared and he felt awful for fucking everything up when he really meant to fix everything.

It had been a week. An whole fucking week and Harry still hadn’t done anything or even said a word to Louis. He knew he could have at least texted him an apology or called him or something to let Louis know that he was sorry. But he’d waited too long and now Louis was angry.

Harry had planned to call him sooner, after having eavesdropped on Louis and Niall’s conversation the other day. He didn’t know who called first, but the way Niall was speaking about him, expressing his concern, made Harry happy and guilty all at the same time.

Maybe going to that movie was a bad idea. Maybe Harry should have stayed home and made Niall happy instead of hanging out with Harry. Except that doing so wouldn’t have made him happy and despite all the shit that had gone down, Harry didn’t regret spending time with Louis. That night really had been the best night in a long time, before the ending, of course.

It had taken Harry everything to leave Louis crying helplessly in the middle of the parking lot. He couldn’t forget how much he wanted to run back and hold the boy in his arms, and apologise for telling him to go away, because that was not what he wanted. Harry really had made a big deal out of everything, and maybe the guilt had been too overwhelming for him to handle, but that was no excuse to the way he treated Louis. And then he was even more cowardice to apologise that he waited too long and made things even worse.

His thoughts came to a sudden stop when his phone started buzzing loudly on the dinner table. Assuming it was Louis calling him back, his hands reached over to pick up the phone, but his mum got to it first.

She set a hand over the cellular device and shot Harry a disapproving look. “Wait until you’re done eating.”

Though the suspense was killing him, he could wait. He shrugged, returning to his meal, but then the vibrations started again. His mum removed her hand and he caught the caller ID which read that it was an unknown number.

Harry glanced at it nervously, then back at his mum. “I’m really sorry, I need to take this.” He heard her sigh as he left the dinner table and stepped into the living room, answering the call.

“Harry!”

He recognised the voice almost instantly. “Eleanor?”

“Where are you?”

“I’m at home… why?”

Eleanor was breathing heavily, and it was starting to worry Louis. “How fast can you get here?”

“Where? What’s going on?” He knew Eleanor wouldn’t have called him for no reason. He didn’t even know she had his number.

“Doncaster Royal Infirmary. Please hurry!”

“What’s going on?” Harry asked again, an uneasy feeling in the pit of his stomach.

“Louis…” she paused, taking a deep breath. “Louis is here.”

Harry nearly dropped the phone. It took him everything to hang up and finally grab his car keys off the counter, apologising to his mother and telling her he’d be back later. Harry ignored her calling out his name, and fled to his car.

Thoughts consumed his mind, scenarios hitting him at every angle. What happened to Louis? Why was he at the hospital? He didn’t do something stupid, did he? Fuck, Harry thought. He probably did and it was all his fault.

He was so preoccupied with thought after that that he didn’t notice the light had turned red and he nearly hit the car in front of him. Harry sighed in relief, his heart beating a thousand beats a minute, and he was afraid he was going to have a heart attack.

Worried as hell, he continued to drive a bit more carefully than before, wanting to get there as quick as he could. He tried not to think of Louis lying helplessly on a hospital bed, the last minutes of his life… Harry shook his head, telling himself that wasn’t the case. Just because Louis was in the hospital it didn’t mean he was going to die.

He rushed into the hospital lobby, running to the desk, taking a moment to catch his breath before he spoke.

“I’m here – to see my friend, Louis – Tomlinson,” he said between gasps.

The lady sitting at the desk turned her attention away from the computer screen and looked at Harry solemnly. “I’m sorry but unless you’re family, I’m going to have to ask you to-”

“I need to see him!” Harry cut him off, not caring how childish he sounded.

“I’m really sorry but-”

He begged, nearly shouting at her, “Please!”

She still didn’t seem to care. “Sir, I’m going to have to ask you to leave.”

Harry opened his mouth to speak but felt a hand on his shoulder. A lady who looked to be in her late thirties smiled sadly at the receptionist. “He’s with me,” she said, gesturing to Harry. “I’m Jay Tomlinson, the patient’s mother.”

“Johanna?” The receptionist took one hard look at her then back at Harry, and nodded slowly. “Go right on up.”

“I don’t believe we’ve met,” Louis’ mum said to Harry once they’d stepped in the elevator.

“Harry.” They shook hands quickly. “I’m a friend of Louis’, or at least I was,” he muttered that last part under his breath.

“Oh.”

“What happened?” Harry decided to ask, hoping his own mother at least knew.

“I’m still not sure.” Her eyes darted the ceiling of the elevator shaft. “His neighbour found him face down on his driveway two hours ago.”

Harry wore his frown throughout the rest of the way, following Jay to Louis’ room. He fumbled with his fingers the moment he was standing behind the door, about to go in. He took a deep breath, Louis’ mum nodding at him encouragingly, and he stepped in.

It wasn’t Louis’ condition that bothered him the most. The cuts and blood visible on his face, the bandages covering the worst of it, made his heart quiver. Simply seeing the other boy lying so helpless in the hospital bed, with the gentle beeping of the heart monitor and the IV attached to his arm, made Harry a little sick.

“He was intoxicated,” a familiar voice said from behind him.

“Eleanor.”

“I’m glad you showed up.” Her face was red as well as her eyes, and her makeup was smeared. “We’re not sure when he’s going to wake up.”

Harry looked back at Louis, who was still lying there, sleep and sound. At least she said ‘when’ instead of ‘if’. That was a bit reassuring. “He’s not in a coma, is he?”

He didn’t get an answer.

He sat himself down on the stool next to the bed after Eleanor left the room, keeping his eyes on Louis the entire time. He ran his fingers over the side of Louis’ face, feeling the bandages beneath them. Louis’ eyes were closed and he could hear his gentle breathing. Harry took a deep, troubled breath, and set his hand over Louis’, and he was reminded of the movie.

A lump grew in his throat as the scene replayed in his mind, and he wasn’t sure they’d get to do that after again. Not just because Louis was mad at him and probably wanted nothing to do with him, but because considering his current state, Harry wasn’t sure if Louis was even going to make it.

He laid his head over Louis’ chest gently, not wanting to trouble him. He sat his head back up and Louis’ facial features were shown clear and perfectly. The only time he’d been that close to Louis was when they’d kissed. Without thinking, Harry placed a small kiss to Louis’ white lips, remembering how he’d pulled away so soon last time, and how he wished he could redo that moment.

He dropped his head onto his chest again, tears welling up in his eyes. His head flew back up when he heard footsteps behind him.

“I don’t know who or what you are to my son, but…” Jay started, moving her stool closer to Harry and taking a seat, “Louis needs someone, especially right now.” She sniffed, a couple of tears making their way down her face. “I can’t always be there for him and – I’m sorry, what I’m trying to say is…” Jay reached into her pocket, pulling out what looked to be a key. “Here. I want you to go to his place and bring him some of his things.”

“Are you sure?” Harry questioned in disbelief.

“Do you care about him?”

“Yes,” he responded immediately. “More than anything.”

“Then I’m positive.”

The moment he took the key from her hands, he glanced over Louis one last time and headed out of the room, reminding himself that he was coming back.

Harry headed to Louis’ flat, calmer and more collected than before. He even decided to turn on the radio, playing music softly to try and calm his nerves. When he reached the porch, he started to wonder if Jay handed him a random key just to get him to leave; however, his doubts left him when the key slid it easily, allowing him to open the door.

He was shocked by the sight, to say the least. Everything was a mess; blankets all over the ground in the living room, bottles strewn everywhere, there was even broken glass. When he walked closer, he noticed the shattered glass was actually the remains of a lamp and next to it was a crumbled piece of paper.

He picked it up and straightened it out, curious as to what this was and why Louis had crumbled it up. His heart skipped a beat when he saw his name at the top of the paper. He frowned, Louis had written him a letter?

He read the letter carefully, Louis’ handwriting thankfully making it easy to read. When he finished reading, he stood frozen, completely speechless. Harry was never meant to read this and now that he had, he felt even guiltier. But in a way, he was glad he did, because now he understood.

He hovered over Louis’ desk, picking up a pen, turning the paper over. He scribbled on the back, “It’s true that if you love someone you should let them go. But what if they come back?”

He knew it was short and cheesy but it got the message across, and Harry had to say something to show that he’d read it. It wasn’t like Louis wanted to speak to him again, he already made that clear.

Harry sighed, setting the paper on the table. He tried not to think of all the things Louis had said to him in his letter as he made his way into the bedroom. It was just as messy as the rest of the house, the duvet falling onto the ground, some of the pillows laying in the other side of the room. One pillow even had feathers sticking out of it. To the left of the bed, there was a slight dent in the wall, and Harry guessed that was all Louis’ doing.

He shook his head, trying to imagine the hell Louis had endured the past week. Harry let out a deep sigh, finding Louis’ dresser and pulling out some clothing. He went with simple black sweat pants and the white and blue striped shirt that Harry adored. He even grabbed a blanket, in case Louis wanted something of his own to hold on to.

Harry went to the kitchen, quickly throwing together a sandwich with the materials he could find. He put the sandwich into a plastic bag, deciding Louis would want something other than hospital food. With that final conquest, he started to leave, but his eyes darted back to the container laying on the counter.

A couple of white sleeping pills sat next to it, the bottle opened. Harry was confused at first but he soon had a pretty good idea what Louis’ intentions were. Had he tried to overdose? He shook away the thoughts, trying to stay positive and tell himself that Louis would be okay.

When he was back at the hospital, Jay was the first to greet him, pulling him into a hug, thanking him for bringing his clothes. She even went ahead and told him how happy it would make Louis to wear his own clothes, and Harry couldn’t stop himself from smiling.

He went into Louis’ room, and sat himself down in the ugly green stool, laying his head on Louis’ chest once again. Harry closed his eyes, letting himself relax. He vowed to himself he wouldn’t leave until Louis was awake and well.

It took two days. Harry didn’t leave his sight once.

One morning Harry had began to eat Louis’ sandwich, deciding he might as well not let it go to waste. Besides, he couldn’t even bring himself to remember the last time he’d eaten. Jay had stopped by to tell him to go home and rest, but Harry had refused every time. He left the room briefly, to toss the remains into the trash and get a cup of water.

When he returned, the first thing he noticed was Louis staring back at him, and then it hit Harry like a thousand bricks. Louis was awake.

“Harry?” Louis rubbed his eyes.

“You’re awake,” Harry said, pointing out the obvious. He sat down in the same stool as earlier, and continued to watch Louis, not taking his eyes off him for a second.

“What happened? What am I doing here?”

“You were found on your driveway,” he began to explain. “You were intoxicated and in a coma…” Harry gulped, looking away, “for three days.”

Louis continued to stare at Harry and the room fell silent for a couple of minutes, until he groaned. “My head hurts.”

“I’ll get your medicine,” Harry said, starting to get up.

“Why are you doing this?”

He stopped, looking back at Louis. “I just want to help you is all.”

“No. I mean, why do you even care?”

Harry’s heart tugged in his chest, and it hurt him to think that Louis didn’t know how much Harry cared for him. It hurt him even more that Harry didn’t know how to prove that he did.

He stroked Louis on the side of the face carefully, resting his leg on the edge of the bed. He looked into his eyes, letting those blue orbs melt into him. “I’ve always cared about you.”

Harry left Louis to get him pills and water, handing them to Louis carefully, the bottle of pills back at his flat coming to mind. Louis seemed to look a bit worried too, but took the pills nonetheless.

“Thanks,” Louis said after gulping down his water.

Harry sighed, taking the styrofoam cup from his hands. “I’m sorry.”

“Harry, please don’t start this again.”

“No, I need to say this,” Harry insisted, pushing his stool closer to the bed. “I’m sorry I pushed you away, I’m sorry I didn’t call sooner. I shouldn’t have yelled at you. I know I made you feel like shit and I wish I could show you how sorry I am. It’s my fault you’re here.”

Louis didn’t bother arguing. “I wasn’t trying to kill myself or anything.”

Harry was surprised that Louis had said that when he’d already seen it for himself. He sighed, “I never said you were.” His fingertips grazed Louis’ face, which caused Louis to flinch, probably because Harry’s hands were cold from the coolness of the hospital room.

Harry suddenly became aware of how tired Louis looked. Even though he’d been out for two days, he looked like he hadn’t slept for a week, which was probably true. He took in the black bags under his eyes and how Louis seemed to be twitching every now and then. It was like he was dying to sleep, but afraid to. His tanned skin, glowing and sun-soaked, had become paler and looked less alive. It was like Louis was slowly dying inside.

Harry sighed, staring deeply into those blue, blue eyes, feeling something well up inside him. “Why are you doing this to yourself?” He whispered softly, then instantly regretted saying that, because for one thing, he had been speaking his mind and Louis sure as hell wouldn’t answer that question.

And as predicted, he didn’t. “Did anyone else come to see me?”

“Your mum and Eleanor. Speaking of which, I’d better let them know you’re up.” He stood up, but Louis’ hand grabbed onto his arm.

“You’ll come back, right?”

Harry smiled sheepishly. “Of course.” He looked back at Louis who had a worried expression on his face and he couldn’t decipher why.

Harry sat in the hall, crossing his arms and kicking the floor impatiently. He knew he couldn’t be selfish because Louis wasn’t his, but he wanted to be back by his side, to make sure he was okay. The temptation to see him even urged him to peek through the window and listen in on his mum and Louis’ conversation.

It was a matter of time before she left, and Eleanor stopped by to say hello. Jay had gone to get Louis another cup of water and Harry was looking through the window, watching as Louis nodded his head slowly, his lips moving as he spoke to Eleanor. Then they kissed and Harry turned away quickly, telling himself that it was nothing.

Eleanor walked out of the room moments later. She sat next to Harry on the bench and patted him on the back encouragingly. “Go to him.”

Maybe it was his imagination but Louis’ face seemed to beam up when Harry walked back in the room.

“You’re still here.”

Harry grinned, clasping onto Louis’ hands. “I told you I’d be back.”

Louis surprisingly returned his smile, tightening his grip on Harry’s fingers. “When do I get checked out?”

“Soon, probably,” Harry answered, shrugging. Hopefully.

Louis pulled a hand out from his side, brushing the side of Harry’s face, sending warm sensations throughout his body. His fingertips traced over his forehead and latched onto the beanie Harry was wearing.

“Is that mine?”

“Yeah,” Harry blushed, forgetting he had still been wearing it. He’d been wearing it ever since the movie simply because it had Louis’ smell and it helped him miss him less. “If you want it back-”

“Keep it,” Louis insisted, setting his hand back down.

Harry tried to hide his composure, darting his eyes over to the clock, which read that it was almost four. He swore to himself for forgetting to get time off work. He couldn’t really blame himself though, none of this was supposed to happen.

“I have work soon,” Harry broke the news to him, watching as disappointment stirred in Louis’ expression. “Are you sure you’ll be okay? I can always call in sick…”

Louis shook his head quickly. “Go to work, Harry. I’ll be fine.”

“Okay.” He kissed Louis on the forehead, leaving his chin against it for a matter of seconds, then he left after looking back at him one last time.

After work that night, Harry headed home, deciding he would rest tonight. After all, Louis had woken up today, and Harry didn’t need to worry anymore. He decided he would check up on him first thing in the morning.

Harry was folding his laundry when his mum stepped into his room, tapping softly on the open door. “We need to talk.”

“Okay,” was all Harry said as he continued to organise his things.

“Now don’t get me wrong, you’re an adult and I don’t have to know everything, but you’ve been in and out of the house these past few days. What’s going on?”

“Nothing,” he responded after tossing a pair of his socks into his suitcase. “My friend’s been at the hospital.”

“And you’ve been spending all your time with him?” Harry nodded right away and his mum crossed her arms. “He sounds more than just a friend.”

Harry shrugged, keeping his eyes on his clothes, not wanting to make any eye contact. “I don’t know what we are anymore, to be honest.”

“You never did tell me about the breakup,” she brought it up. “Was this friend the reason?”

Harry sighed, deciding his mum was getting too nosy. “I don’t wanna talk about it.”

“Well, I do,” she shot back. “I can’t stand seeing you so broken and helpless every day. I know I’m clueless about what’s happened and all but I’m still your mother. I just want you to be happy.” She shook her head sadly. “It kills me to see you act so unlike yourself.”

Harry heaved a breathy sigh, then gave in. “He’s the father, but he hates me now.”

“Are you sure he’s okay with you keeping Danny?”

“He doesn’t have a say in it anyway,” Harry told her, remembering that he’d told Louis that Niall had taken Danny when that hadn’t been the case.

“And why does he hate you?”

Harry sat down on his bed, fumbling with his fingers. “I don’t know – I guess, after all that’s happened, he has no reason to like me.”

“He has every reason to like you.” Then Harry groaned, starting to grumble and argue. “And I’m not just saying that ‘cause I’m your mum.” She brushed back his hair behind his ear and smiled. “Listen, Harry. You can’t force him to like you. He’ll come to you when he’s ready.”

“But what if that never happens?”

“It will, I promise you,” she assured him, planting a kiss on the top of his head. “Now promise me you’ll try to get some sleep?”

“I can’t,” Harry said truthfully, smiling cheekily. “But I’ll try.”

“Good,” his mum shot him an encouraging smile. “I love you, goodnight.”

“Goodnight, Mum.”

The minute Harry closed his eyes, images of Louis filled his mind, different than how it had been before. Instead of the memories they’d shared, tonight Harry was seeing Louis in the hospital, reliving the pain he’d endured those two days waiting for him to awaken. He shook in his bed, grasping the covers tightly, breathing heavily.

He slept for about two hours that night.


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Louis and Eleanor gave their baby up for adoption, they never expected the new parents to be two males. They also didn’t expect Louis to fall in love with one of them.

Tuesday

 

Louis felt a lot better. He left the house for the first time in ages, despite being stuck at the hospital, and spent time with his mum to remind him of how his life used to be before anything happened. Before Eleanor, before the baby, before Harry. But let’s not get into that again.

He hadn’t exactly slipped out of his depression, but he was no longer drinking periodically, at least to the point where he was suffering physically. He couldn’t say the same about his state of mind, though. He’d gotten more sleep lately, and he hadn’t been dreaming much either. Louis wasn’t atrociously exhausted anymore, but getting proper sleep didn’t stop the empty feeling that continued to consume him. 

Louis saw Harry in everything he did. He would walk into his bedroom and see Harry sitting atop his bed, his smile, that bloody smile, staring back at him, a dreadful reminder of what he couldn’t have. Louis would open his fridge and imagine Harry standing beside him, suggesting that he stop with this foolishness and eat something already. He would turn on the telly to clear his mind but the characters would somehow relate back to Harry. Louis couldn’t even watch the weather channel for fuck’s sake, and he eventually resorted to watching wrestling after the boredom nearly killed him.

His eyes were drooping, threatening to close, and he realised had been watching this stupid show for the entire day. But then again, it wasn’t like there was anything else to do. He walked over to his desk, turning on his computer, ready to attempt at writing again, when his eyes found a familiar piece of paper lying on the desk. He took one look at it and sighed, pulling his eyes away from it. Louis shut off his computer, heading to the bathroom where he proceeded to pour cold water over his face to snap him out of it.

He was heading back to the living room to doze off for a few hours, or hell, a few days, as if Louis cared anymore, when he heard the doorbell go off, completely catching him off guard. He didn’t bother looking as he opened the door, expecting it to be his mother, until the familiar head of curls came into view.

“Hi,” Harry said, smiling slyly.

“Hey.” Louis almost frowned, a mix of relief and disappointment that Harry was here. I mean, what could he possibly want now?

“I just wanted to check on you.”

Louis bit down his lip, looking over the other boy, reminding himself that this was Harry, the boy he’d been trying to forget about. He was hesitant at first, but finally gave in, forcing a smile. “Come in.”

Harry obeyed and walked inside, slipping his shoes off. He took a seat on the couch, the same place Louis had been previously sitting. “So are you doing better?”

“Yeah I’m great.” It wasn’t a total lie. He was doing better, but he wasn’t exactly feeling great.

“Have you been drinking lots of water like the doctor said?”

“Yeah,” Louis answered truthfully, starting to question why Harry was being so nice to him.

“That’s good. You’re looking a lot better.”

Louis nodded in agreement, remembering looking at himself in the mirror that morning. The dark bags that had clouded under his eyes had disappeared, and he even made an effort to shaving the slight stubble above his lip.

Harry finally sighed, dropping his hands onto his lap. “Don’t you ever scare me like that again.”

Louis sat down next to him, surprised that Harry was still stressing over that. “It wasn’t that bad.”

“I didn’t think you were going to wake up.” Harry ran a hand through his hair, his eyes focused on the coffee table.

Despite Harry visiting him at the hospital and claiming to care about him, Louis still had his mind set on Harry hating him. After all, ending up in the hospital is enough to get anyone to suddenly start caring. “I don’t see how that would scare you.”

“You tried to kill yourself.”

“What?” Louis frowned, confused at Harry’s confidence in that statement.

“I saw the pills.”

“You were here?”

“That’s beside the point,” Harry defended.

Louis remembered Harry’s words, the images flashing through his mind again. He couldn’t recall much other than taking out the bottle, and slipping two pills, simply to fall asleep and escape reality. “I only thought about killing myself,” he began to explain, “I was never going to go through with it.”

“That’s still just as bad.”

Silence fell between them for a matter of seconds, and Louis was the first to break it. “I just wanted to fall asleep, okay? It was my fault for going outside right after.” Harry didn’t respond after that, and he looked strangely concerned. Louis argued setting his hand on Harry’s shoulder, but decided he’d better not. Instead, he took a deep breath and said, “I’m sorry.”

“There’s nothing to apologise for. It was all-” He stopped talking, suddenly making eye contact with Louis. “Never mind.” Louis was going to argue and ask him to finish what he was saying, but Harry spoke again. “I met your mum, know.”

“Really?” That was interesting. Louis didn’t recall his mum ever mentioning Harry. “What’d she tell you?”

“Well, first she went through your childhood in great detail,” Harry said with a smirk, and Louis chuckled lightly, “and then she showed me your baby pictures.

“Oh God. I hope she didn’t show you the one where I’m being potty-trained.”

The two of them shared a laugh, giggling together until they both seemed to acknowledge that there was supposed to be tension between them.

“So my mum wants to meet you,” the curly-haired lad started to say.

His mum knew Louis? He wanted to question how, but he figured he’d better not.

“I know it’s dumb but she wants to have you over for dinner tomorrow night.” Harry grinned cheekily. “But listen, you don’t have to come.”

Louis couldn’t stop himself from smiling for some unknown reason. “I think I can make room in my busy schedule,” he teased, obviously implying that he had no life whatsoever.

“That’s great.” Harry’s eyes went to the ground, and he looked slightly nervous. “Danny will be happy to see you.”

“Isn’t he with Niall?”

“Nope, I lied,” Harry admitted, his cheeks flushing.

“Why?”

“I thought you’d be more upset if I told the truth.” Meaning he’d be more upset knowing Danny was with Harry, which didn’t make any sense.

“I don’t hate you, Harry.”

Harry stared at him for a second, his expression totally serious. Then he cracked a smile. “Well, that’s good then.” His eyes lit up as he emitted a chuckle. “You’re not so bad yourself.”

Louis wouldn’t deny that hearing that made him feel a little better. He didn’t let it show, as he tried to think of something else to say. “So I hate to ask, but how’s Niall?”

“I wouldn’t know. I haven’t seen him in days.” He didn’t sound hurt in the least.

“Do you…” Louis started to say, but then he paused, unsure of how Harry would react. “Do you still love him?”

“Yeah.” Louis could feel his heart starting to sink, until Harry continued to speak. “Just not in love. I guess my feelings just faded.”

“I understand,” Louis said sympathetically, referring back to Eleanor and how their love disappeared. The question was, had Harry’s feelings faded because of him? “Shit happens.” Louis was even more surprised that the breakup had been mutual. He didn’t want to bother Harry any further with his questions, so he decided to change the subject. “So why were you here?”

“To see how you were doing-”

“No, I mean while I was in a coma,” Louis clarified, wishing he’d said it right the first time.

Harry looked down, a worried expression spreading throughout his face. Louis began to wonder how being in the hospital had affected him. “Your mum wanted me to come by and get some things,” Harry told him. “It was quite the mess.”

Louis shrugged, not taking any offense. “I don’t clean much.”

“I can tell,” Harry said with a laugh. “You could really use someone to clean up after you.”

Yeah, you, Louis wanted to say. “I’ll just hire a maid with all the money I don’t have.

Harry chuckled, smiling in amusement. “My offer still stands you know. Did you ever send in your application?”

Louis remembered tearing it up, and now he regretted doing that in the first place. He was a bit confused, unsure if he and Harry had moved on from the past incidents, but he couldn’t tell Harry the truth. So he answered with a simple, “No.”

“Well I’d consider, unless you ever plan on going anywhere with writing.”

Surprised that Harry remembered that little tidbit, he laughed, more a laugh of self-pity than anything. “Yeah, that’ll happen. I, uh, lost the paper. I’ll stop by and grab a copy later.” Harry nodded approvingly, and Louis’ eyes wandered around the room. He didn’t realise there had been an awkward pause until he spoke. “Is it too late to apologise for Friday?”

Harry turned his body to face Louis, and he groaned. “I told you, there’s nothing to apologise for.”

“But you ran off and-”

“Oh, I thought you were referring to last Friday…” he trailed off, sounding far from confident. “Not the one before.”

“Oh.” Louis blushed profusely, knowing he’d just made everything worse. He decided to change the subject to dig himself out of this hole. “Are you hungry? Not that I really have anything to offer. I could try and whip up some eggs, yeah?”

Harry shook his head. “You couldn’t cook if you tried.”

Harry seemed oblivious to the fact that Louis hadn’t spoken more about the kiss, and maybe it was because he wanted to avoid it just as much as Louis. Instead, he moved the thoughts into the back of his head, and focused only on this moment. “How about you cook then?”

“I don’t know, it’s been a while. I could accidentally set fire to your kitchen,” Harry smirked, his left lip curling up, that familiar dimple being brought into view.

“I’ll take my chances. I haven’t had a proper meal in days.”

“How do you feel about spaghetti?”

“Sounds nice,” Louis said with a smile, watching as Harry began to head into the kitchen, stopping halfway, peeking back at him.

“Well aren’t you coming? I can’t do it all on my own!”

Louis laughed, following behind the other boy. “I hope you know I won’t be of any help.”

“You can start by showing me where you keep the spaghetti.”

“Did you check the fridge?”

Harry scoffed, his eyes scanning the countertops. “You don’t keep it there.”

“I probably do,” he said with a shrug, remembering Eleanor was always in charge of the kitchen.

“What about the pantry?”

“Like I would know.”

Harry pulled a box out, holding it in Louis’ face. “I found rigatoni. Is that okay?”

Louis looked at the box, seeing slightly curved tubes of pasta through the transparency. “It’s fine, mate,” he assured Harry, patting him briefly on the back. Then he made weird faces at him. “No need to get all fancy.”

“There’s nothing wrong with being specific,” Harry defended himself, opening the box and setting it back down on the counter. “Now can you get me a pan?”

“On your left.”

“You get it,” Harry insisted. “It’s your house.”

Louis gave in, pushing past Harry’s legs to get to the cabinet. He bent over, picking out a pan, holding it to the other’s face. “Big enough?”

Harry grinned mischievously. “Definitely big enough.” Something about the way he said it, perhaps that it sounded a bit promiscuous, made Louis’ eyebrows wag in amusement as Harry took the pan from him. “If I burn the house down, it’s all on you.”

“Thanks, man,” Louis pretended to sound flattered, slapping him lightly on the arm. “D’ya need anything else?”

“Nah, I’m good.”

Louis was about to sit down, but then he turned back around. “Hey, Harry?”

Harry remained focused on cooking. “Yeah.”

“Is it okay if I watch? I could learn a thing or two.” He didn’t exactly guarantee that last part, let alone paying attention, but he just wanted to be around Harry, despite how much his instincts were telling him otherwise.

“Yeah, no problem. As long as you don’t distract me.”

Louis teased, putting on a pouty face. “So I have to keep my clothes on?”

“That’s your choice,” Harry grinned, shrugging. “I used to roam free back when I lived alone, I could always go back to that.”

Louis blushed, pushing the inappropriate thoughts to the back of his head. “Yeah, you could,” he said with a laugh. “But what would your mother think?”

Harry scoffed, “Mummy doesn’t need to know.”

Speaking of mums, thoughts of his own mum flashed into his head. He remembered how being in the hospital had affected her, considering she had been there the entire time. Even Eleanor had been pretty devastated. Louis started to feel guilty. He’d caused so much worry simply because he was being selfish with his decision making. He wished he could take it all back.

His thoughts came to a stop when a hand was suddenly wagging in his face, and Harry was chuckling. “Earth to Louis?”

“Sorry, I was just thinking.”

Harry looked up from the pan, smiling at Louis curiously. “About?”

“My mum. She was really worried, wasn’t she?”

“You don’t know the half of it,” Harry told him, leaning his body against the counter. “Who do you think tried to get me to leave?”

“Wait, get you to leave? What?”

Harry paused, clearly not wanting to talk about it. “I need tomato paste.”

Louis grabbed it from the fridge, setting it down next to Harry. He pressed his hand against the edge of the counter, using it to support himself. “How many times did you come to see me?”

Harry opened the jar, pouring the tomato paste into the meat. “This needs more pepper-”

Louis cut him off, growing impatient. “Harry.”

Harry tossed the spoon to the side of the stove, turning to face Louis. “I got a call from Eleanor, I showed up two hours after the incident.”

“What does that have to-”

“I stayed after that.”

There was a long pause after that, and Louis’ heart was beating fast, though he wasn’t sure exactly what Harry had meant. “You… never left?”

Harry sighed, returning back to his cooking. “Other than to get your things, no.”

Louis nodded his head slowly, trying to imagine Harry watching over him as he slept, the worried look on his face, wondering if Louis would ever wake up… He shook away the thoughts, feeling worse about the pain he possibly caused him. He cleared his throat. “So is it ready yet?”

“Almost.” Harry’s voice had a bit of shakiness to it and he didn’t look as happy as before.

“Is everything okay?”

Harry nodded. “Yeah. It’s just… it’s hard to think about.”

Louis understood, feeling even guiltier for everything. “I’m sorry. I mean – you don’t need to worry anymore. I’m okay, Harry, I promise.”

The curly-headed boy’s eyes made contact with Louis’, the emerald orbs piercing into his soul. Harry took one hard look at him and sighed, his attention reverting to the food. He lifted his spoon from the pot towards Louis, cupping a hand underneath it. “See if it’s ready.”

Louis opened his mouth and Harry stuck the spoon into his mouth. He began to chew the macaroni, the heat suddenly making an impact. “Shit! It’s hot!”

“Sorry!” Harry exclaimed, as Louis rushed to the sink, his mouth underneath the facet as the coolness of the water eased the pain. “But is it ready?

“Hard to tell with a burnt tongue,” Louis snapped back, walking back to stand beside the other boy. “Ow…”

“Here.” Harry held the spoon again, except this time he blew on it slowly, his eyes on Louis as he did it, and for some weird reason, this actually turned Louis on. “Try again.”

Louis kept his eyes on Harry as he drew himself closer, sliding the macaroni off the spoon with his tongue, and it didn’t burn his mouth this time. After Louis swallowed, he heaved a sigh at how intense that last minute had been, because everything up to this moment had him falling harder for the curly-haired boy.

Louis nodded his head approvingly. “Yeah it’s ready.”

“The sauce is ready too. Get the drinks out, yeah?” He moved to the kitchen to drain the water from the pot, then turned back around. “Er, on second thought, water’s fine.”

“Are you sure? I-” Louis remembered his addiction, and knew that Harry was obviously worried about that. But Louis wasn’t hopeless; he could control himself. Harry should know that too. “I’m fine, you know. More than fine actually, I’m great.” His face beamed when they made eye contact, and he was reminded of all the great times they’ve had, and despite all they’ve been through, tonight was just another memory to add to the list.

“I know, but maybe it’s best if you take it easy?”

“I guess you’re right.” He let it go. He honestly didn’t have a problem with drinking water, especially knowing that maybe, just maybe, Harry really did care about him.

“I’m always right,” Harry said with a smirk.

Louis punched him in the arm. “Now don’t be cheeky.”

“You love it.”

Louis shrugged, smiling broadly. “Can’t deny that.” He held two plates in his hands and he was about to head into the dining room when a pair of arms wrapped around his waist which nearly caused him to drop everything he was holding.

His breath hitched and he was confused as ever but didn’t dare question it. The problem wasn’t that Harry was hugging him from behind, but the fact that Harry was leaning onto him and Louis could feel Harry’s head over his shoulder, his hot breath tickling his neck, his hands tightening around his waist. Louis was absolutely caught off guard and this was by far the most intimate he’d ever been with anyone, and it was making him incredibly and insufficiently hard.

It took him everything not to throw himself against the other boy and do unspeakable things to him right then and there. Instead, he found himself laughing to break the silence. “What are you doing?”

Louis could have sworn he felt lips against his neck, but he was probably mistaken. Nope, he most definitely had observed it correctly. But why was Harry doing this? What was he thinking?

He felt a vibration in his pants which didn’t really help with the full-blown erection he already had. Harry moved away from him and Louis tried to ignore the cold and empty feeling where Harry’s body had been. Harry set up the table while Louis prompted to take out his phone, surprised to see that someone had texted him for the first time in what felt like forever.

From: Zayn (20:34)

Wanna chill babe

 

From: Louis (20:35)

Sorry, I’m busy xx

 

Louis was amused by the role change; usually it was Zayn who was too busy for him. There was also the fact that Louis was hardly ever busy, so he felt a little less pathetic now.

He sat down next to Harry at the dining table, who was staring at him intently, and Louis knew he would ask. “That was my friend, Zayn.”

“What’d he say?”

“Nothing important,” Louis said, his eyes glancing down then back at Harry again. When the realisation hit him, he was suddenly a bit angry. “You know, my mum never mentioned Zayn even coming to visit.”

“Well I didn’t see anyone,” Harry took a sip of his water, “considering I was the only male to visit.”

Louis shrugged, feeling a tug in his stomach, but he didn’t know how to describe how he felt. Betrayed? Disappointed? He didn’t know. “Maybe Zayn isn’t that great of a friend after all.”

“Maybe he didn’t know?” Harry suggested.

“How could he not? Eleanor would have called him,” Louis pointed out, trying to find out why Eleanor wouldn’t have called him.

Harry shrugged, defeated by Louis’ point. He set his fork down after taking a bite of his food, then looked at Louis, as if waiting for something. “Well, go on. I didn’t make all this for myself.”

“Well, obviously. You made enough to feed an army.”

“You’re forgetting I used to live with Niall.”

Louis laughed, picking up his fork, gathering some macaroni. Would it be too weird if he asked Harry to blow on it again? Probably. He took a bite and his eyes widened, surprised at the incredible taste. “Wow,” was all he could muster.

“Good?”

All Louis could do was nod, because he was mesmerised by how amazing this tasted and he hadn’t had a real meal like this in such a long time. He took a break and sipped his water. “I think I understand Niall’s food obsession now.”

Harry chuckled. “Let’s not talk about him, okay?”

“Okay,” Louis agreed, slightly embarrassed for bringing him up in the first place. “But I wasn’t lying, Haz. You really can cook.” There was that nickname again, that had somehow slipped Louis’ mouth. He tried to hide the amusement that was starting to show.

“So when do I start?”

“What?” Louis laughed. Harry couldn’t be serious.

“Kidding!” Harry assured him, smiling. “Imagine that though. Me. A butler.”

“You could even wear a cute little maid outfit!”

Harry wrinkled his nose, looking slightly offended. “I’m not your housewife!”

“Whatever,” Louis got up to get a refill, patting Harry’s curls along the way.

“I hope you didn’t just wipe your hands in my hair,” Harry crossed his arms, and though his voice sounded a bit snappy, his face was still beaming.

“Get used to it, Curly,” Louis ran his hand through Harry’s hair again and then sat back down, sipping down his water. Then his phone went off again. “When did I get so popular?”

Harry laughed at that, mainly because Louis had tried to sound as sassy and obnoxious as possible.

From: Zayn (20:38)

I have nandos for u, call me. I miss u nini x

 

Louis had barely understood the text when the second one came his way.

 

From: Zayn (20:39)

Shit wrong number lol

 

Louis frowned, reading the first text over and over again, trying to understand what Zayn had been trying to say. “Ni-ni?”

“Niall?” Louis looked to see Harry staring back at him. “I always called him that.”

He handed his phone to Harry and his expression went blank as his eyes roamed over the screen. He returned the phone to Louis and his eyes clasped tight. “Shit.”

Louis started to understand. “You don’t think…”

“I doubt it,” Harry said, pushing his food away. “How would they even know each other?”

Louis didn’t answer, for he was too busy dwelled in his own thoughts. “Well, it would certainly explain he didn’t come see me.” He clenched his fist, his good mood diminishing by the second. “He was too busy with Niall to care.”

Harry shook his head. “That still doesn’t add up. Why wouldn’t Niall tell me?”

Louis let out a deep sigh, eyes on his phone again. “I’m calling him.”

“Put it on speaker.”

He waited until after three rings when it went to voicemail. Groaning he listened to the ridiculous message and took a deep, impatient breath after he heard the beep.

“Fuck, Zayn. Answer your goddamn phone. I know you’re there. You can’t avoid this forever,” Louis sighed, disappointed that Zayn was stillnot answering. “Call me when you’re ready to talk.” He hung up and smiled sarcastically at Harry. “Well, that went well.”

Harry’s eyes focused on the table, fumbling with his fingers. “Let’s just… not jump to conclusions, yeah?” He pulled out his phone, taking one look at it and setting it back on the table. “I should go, my mum’s probably worried.”

“You’re a grown man, aren’t you?” Louis teased him.

“Yeah, but she’s already worried about me.”

Louis was tempted to question why, but he figured it had something to do with the breakup; therefore, deciding he’d better not say anything. “Okay, we’re still on for tomorrow, right?”

“Of course.” Harry smiled, raising an eyebrow and his expression was basically telling Louis that he was an idiot for assuming otherwise.

“Okay.” Louis followed Harry to the door, a bit sad that Harry was leaving so soon; it was barely nine o’clock. Nonetheless, he was grateful for the time they spent together. It had gone beyond Louis’ expectations, which were close to nothing.

They were standing by the door after Harry had slipped his shoes on. The two of them were simply looking each other, and Louis was clueless as to what to say or do. If anything, he wanted to kiss Harry goodbye, but he didn’t want a repeat of last time.

He noticed Harry’s hand which was reaching out, and for a minute Louis thought he was going to touch his face, but Harry dropped his hand to his side a moment later, and Louis tried not to show his disappointment.

“I’ll text you the address later,” Harry told him, and the other boy nodded in understanding.

“See you tomorrow.”

The next morning, Louis woke up to the most irritating ringtone ever. He nearly threw his phone across the room, angry that his sleep had been disturbed. However, when he read the caller ID, Louis decided to pick up after arguing with himself awhile.

“Some of us sleep, you know,” he snapped, rolling himself out of the sheets.

“It’s almost twelve,” Eleanor complained. “How much sleep could you possibly need?”

“I haven’t slept much, remember?” Louis didn’t mean to bring up the incident, but sometimes it just happened.

“I was wondering,” Eleanor began, just as Louis had taken one look at himself in the mirror and shuddered. He did not know what to do with his hair today, it looked absolutely horrid. Maybe he could shower and then go out for a while. Maybe he could take a walk in the park, who knows?

“Are you even listening?”

“Sorry,” Louis said, but pressed the phone against his shoulder as he went through his wardrobe, looking for his red skinnies.

“You know, this would be a lot easier in person. We haven’t hung out in a while either.”

“Yeah.” Louis tossed his clothes into a pile on the ground, frowning when he found something he didn’t like. He threw the yellow sweater onto his bed, mentally shouting at himself, What was I thinking?

“So Starbucks it is, then?”

“Yeah, sure,” Louis agreed without even considering her words. He found a turquoise t-shirt and tossed it over his shoulder, deciding that was what he would wear.

“See ya.”

He put his phone away, stripping off his bottoms and slipping on a pair of blue skinnies. He threw on the blue t-shirt and ran to the bathroom, running a brush through his hair for a matter of minutes before deciding it looked good enough. After all, it was only Eleanor.

“What took you so long?” Eleanor demanded once they seated themselves.

“Perfection takes time,” Louis informed her, flipping his hair back.

She rolled her eyes, but she was also smiling. “You haven’t changed a bit, Louis.”

“You’re acting like it’s been years since we’ve seen each other,” Louis chuckled, reminding himself that it had only been a few weeks since they’d broken up.

“It feels that way,” she admitted, setting an elbow on the table. “We’re still friends, right? We shouldn’t be ignoring each other.”

“Agreed,” Louis said with a grin, glad that they had been able to keep their friendship, despite the fact that Eleanor still wasn’t over him.

She reached into her purse, taking off her sunglasses and fitting them inside the bag. She set it back on the table and cleared her throat.“So you know that fair that comes here once a year?”

“Yeah.” There wasn’t a year Louis didn’t attend, he loved amusement parks, especially when they were conveniently nearby.

“I really want to go, but I don’t have anyone to go with,” she hinted.

“I’d be happy to go with you,” Louis said, smiling sheepishly, “but I’m not really in the mood this year.”

“Please?” she pleaded, clearly not taking no for an answer. “You can even bring your friend.”

“Harry?”

“Who else?”

Louis blushed, remembering that their breakup involved Harry, and he was still surprised that Eleanor was perfectly okay with that. “I doubt he’d want to come.”

“How do you know?”

“I feel like asking him would be too… forward,” Louis told her honestly. Sure, Harry and him had gone on a date, but it wasn’t really a date, and the end result wasn’t exactly something he wanted a repeat of.

“Oh come on! You’re just bringing him along. He won’t suspect a thing. And between you and me, I think he likes you too.” Eleanor winked at him, and Louis couldn’t resist rolling his eyes.

“Stop getting my hopes up.”

“You know I support you, love,” she set her hand over Louis’, “and I can tell you this boy has feelings for you.”

Louis rolled his eyes again, refusing to believe that. “Whatever you say.”

“So?”

He sighed, knowing Eleanor wouldn’t leave him alone until she got her way. “I guess it couldn’t hurt to ask.”

She smiled, pushing her hair back. “Now that’s what I wanted to hear.”

“Elena!” another voice hollered.

Eleanor frowned, laughing following immediately. “Is that supposed to be me?”

“You’re their number one customer too,” Louis pointed out, shaking his head, amused that they got her name wrong.

“Maybe I should’ve ordered for myself.”

“Probably. They were looking at me like I was mental. I mean, come on, you were next to me, they could’ve figured it out.” He pretended to look embarrassed that the employees assumed Louis was Eleanor.

“Now don’t get your panties in a twist,” she said, starting to get up. “Wouldn’t want Harry getting hard from that.”

Laughs poured out of Louis and he pushed her out of the booth, nearly knocking her over, which caused him to laugh harder. When she looked back at him, she was glaring. “What? You deserved it.”

“I ought to pour some coffee down your shirt. You’d like that, wouldn’t you?”

“Bring it on, Calder,” he said with a grin, deciding that maybe he and Eleanor really could get along if they tried hard enough.


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Louis and Eleanor gave their baby up for adoption, they never expected the new parents to be two males. They also didn’t expect Louis to fall in love with one of them.

“Just promise you won’t embarrass me.”

“Oh, honey,” Anne drawled, pinching Harry’s left cheek. A grin was plastered on her face and Harry was rolling his eyes. “You know I don’t make promises I can’t keep.”

She paced the room, fixing the pillows for the millionth time that day, and patted her dress, straightening it out. “Did he tell you when he’s coming?” Her face beamed with excitement. “Gotta make sure I have the baby pictures out and ready!”

“Might as well show him my birth certificate too,” Harry said with much confidence which indicated that her words meant nothing to him.

She seemed to understand. “You’re right, that’s way too cliché.”

Though Harry knew his mum only wanted tonight to go well, he couldn’t help but feel afraid that something would go wrong, that his mum would say something embarrass Harry or scare Louis away. He hadn’t confronted his mother about his huge crush on Louis; he had yet to accept it himself. Regardless, he couldn’t help but sense his mother at least had some idea. He could only hope he wasn’t that obvious.

“I am so excited to meet him! Your new friend,” Anna gushed, the wagged her eyebrows suggestively

“Why do you say it like that? We’re just friends,” Harry stammered, his voice a little shaky. He was never good at lying, but then again, what was he lying about?

His mum set her hand on her hips. “I remember when I used to say that about your father.”

Harry didn’t bring up the divorce too often, but it had happened so many years ago that nobody seemed to care anymore. “And look where you are now…”

“With someone else?” She raised an eyebrow, cocking a smile. It had been five years ago that she remarried a man called Robin, and even Harry agreed that he was the best thing to ever happen to her. “You’re catching on.”

Harry smiled at Anne, seeing exactly what she did there. Then his phone went off and the buzzing caused him to jump. His smile widened at the text as he hollered, “Better get that!”

“Get wha-” She was cut off by the sound of the doorbell, walking towards it with an impressed expression on her face. “My son is psychic!”

Harry rolled his eyes, smiling as he followed her to the door. His palms were sweaty, and he was filled with anticipation with the knowledge that he would see Louis again. And barely a second later, there he was standing in the doorway, smiling back at him. Louis looked gorgeous as usual, dark khaki skinnies with braces attached and slinging over his shoulders, over a white button-up shirt. All in all, absolutely beautiful.

“It’s so nice to finally meet you!” Anne gushed, shaking Louis’ hand. “Harry’s told me so much about you!”

Harry simply laughed it off, though he really wanted to tell his mum to shut it. “She’s joking.”

“Don’t be rude, Harold, we have company.” Of course Harry was his one and only name, but she still chose to tease him with others. “Come in!”

Louis stepped inside, his face beaming when he made eye contact with Harry. In fact, Harry was smiling so hard that he had to peel his eyes away in order to stop.

“Make yourself comfortable,” Anne said with a welcoming smile as Louis walked into the living room. “What can I get you? Tea? Wine? Anything?”

“Water’s fine.” Louis sat down on the couch, setting one leg over the other and Harry didn’t realise he was staring until their eyes met again. He stood around awkwardly, his eyes wandering the room, until he decided to take a seat next to Louis.

Louis grinned, moving closer to Harry after he seated himself. “So what’s up with you?”

“Just got off work,” Harry started to explain, then remembered something else. “Oh! I got you another application, remind me to grab it later.”

Louis chuckled. “Alright.”

“And how are you this fine evening?”

“Splendid, mate!” Louis said, the pitch of his voice rising, and he slammed a hand against Harry shoulder, slapping him playfully. “Thank you for asking.”

Harry smirked, loving the tone of the conversation. “My pleasure.” His attention went to Anne who was making her way towards them with a tray of tea in her hands. “Mum, he wanted water.”

“A little tea won’t kill him,” she assured him, setting the tray down on the coffee table. “Do you want sugar, dear?”

“No thanks,” Louis said with a small smile, taking a sip of his tea, immediately setting it back down.

“It’s a little hot, sorry.”

“It’s fine,” he smirked at Harry, and Harry was reminded of how Louis had burnt his tongue the previous day, and found himself smiling at the memory.

“So Louis, have you got a girlfriend?”

Harry nearly choked on his tea when Anne asked the question.

“Not anymore,” Louis answered with a laugh, surprisingly not at all fazed by Anne’s boldness.

“He’s not interested, Mum,” Harry found himself saying, and it took him a moment to realise what he had inferred and took the next moment to cover it up. “You’re too old for him.”

Anne shot him a glare. “I do apologise for my son, he’s usually quiet. But I s’pose I deserved that.” She shrugged, and her slightly angered expression transformed into a smile. “Dinner is ready when you are.”

Harry and Louis followed Anne to the table, sitting down across from each other, with Anne taking the space between them. Harry was quite impressed with all his mum had cooked. Steak, potatoes, corn… She was really treating this like a special occasion, maybe because she might actually approve of Louis?

“Robin’s held up at work so it’s just us tonight,” Anne explained to them.

“I thought Gemma was supposed to come,” Harry pointed out with a frown.

“She can’t visit for another week.”

Louis butted in, “Gemma?”

“My sister,” Harry informed him, suddenly regretting never mentioning his family in any of their conversations.

“I hope you like steak,” Anne said with a grin, setting a fork on top of one of them. “I cooked them medium well, but I can cook it more if you like-”

“No bother,” Louis cut her off, waving a hand in the air. “The rarer, the better.” And with that, he pressed his fork into the meat, carefully setting it down on his plate. He took a bite and raised his eyebrows in amazement. “This is fantastic, Mrs. Styles. I see where Harry gets it from.”

Harry blushed at the cooking reference and his mum instantly sent him a quizzical look which he purposely ignored.

“Call me Anne,” she insisted, always hating when she was addressed by her surname since it made her feel old. “So, what do you do for a living?”

“He writes,” Harry answered for him.

Louis’ cheeks turned slightly pink and he looked down at his plate. “Not really…”

“You either do or you don’t,” Anne insisted, obviously taking Harry’s side on this matter.

“Maybe a little.”

“Let me read some of your work later, yeah? I love giving new writers a chance.” Harry wanted to roll his eyes, knowing she spent most of her days reading unpublished stories, most of which were based around sex and romance.

Louis smiled wryly. “I’ll think about it.”

“Harry sings,” Anne suddenly said out of nowhere.

Harry dropped his fork and sighed loudly, wishing his mum would keep her mouth shut.

“I know. He’s pretty amazing at it too,” Louis said, grinning cheekily at Harry, and it took him everything not to blush his cheeks off.

“Really.” Anne curled her lips in amusement. She smirked at Harry, a bit suspiciously, as if she knew everything simply by watching them look at each other.

Things were quiet after that, only the sound of chewing filling the room. When Harry broke the silence to ask Louis to pass the corn, and Louis passed it to him right away, shooting him a sly smile which caused Harry’s heart to race incredulously and he had to snap himself out of it because his mum was right there.

“There’s that fair coming up this weekend,” Anne brought it up. “Are you going by chance, Louis?”

“Yeah, actually.” Louis began chuckling, scooting his chair closer to the table. “I was actually planning on asking Harry to go with me. I… well, Eleanor wanted me to go and she said I could bring a friend.”

Harry had an irrational fear of roller coasters, not just because of the fact that they were man-made and it was so easy for something to go wrong, but also because he was terrified of heights. But perhaps that was a little too paranoid.

“I’ll think about it,” he finally replied.

“He’ll be there,” Anne assured Louis with a grin.

After dinner, Anne was taking the dishes into the sink to wash, and Harry and Louis were making small talk, simply speaking and laughing and enjoying each other’s company. In fact, they were so comfortable around each other now that even Anne couldn’t make things awkward between them.

Louis left Harry to go into the kitchen. Harry watched as he picked up a plate from the sink and a sponge. “Let me help you with that.”

“Kiss-up.” Harry scoffed, setting his elbow on the table, leaning his head against his hand.

“Nothing wrong with being helpful!”

“I’ll be in my room if anyone needs me,” Harry hinted, hoping Louis would follow him in his endeavor. He headed into the guest room, spotting Danny in his crib. His eyes lit up as he walked closer to lift him up. The minute Danny was in his arms, Harry kissed him lightly on the cheek. “I love you, you know that?”

“Love you too,” another voice responded, and Harry nearly fell over in surprise.

“Thought you were busy ass-kissing.”

“Nah, I don’t roll that way,” Louis explained, but winked a second later. “Maybe.”

Maybe? Huh, so Eleanor was right…

“He’s grown hair,” he observed, moving his head closer to Harry’s to get a better view of the baby cradled in his arms.

“He’s really starting to look like you,” Harry commented, smiling broadly, shocked by the resemblance. The last time Louis had seen Danny, he’d already noticed the similarity with their jaw lines and facial structure in general, but now that Danny was sprouting hair, the colour was the most extraordinary shade of brown, practically a replica of Louis’.

“I do hope that’s a compliment.”

Harry smiled, biting down his lip, suddenly feeling warm all over. “It’s whatever you want it to be.”

Louis’ fingers moved to Danny’s face where he proceeded to stroke his hand against Danny’s forehead. The sight of Louis with his son was almost too much to bear. He found himself wishing the two of them could take care of Danny, because, hello, they would make the best parents. But, of course, that was all in Harry’s head because reality wouldn’t let such a thing exist.

“He has lovely eyes,” Harry commented, observing how big, brown, and beautiful they were.

Louis let out a chuckle, “He didn’t get them from me.”

“Well, yours are pretty as well.” That was a fucking understatement. Louis’ eyes were the bane of his existence; the one feature he was sure existed simply to mock him because they were literally so beautiful, Harry had to constantly keep looking at them to confirm whether or not they were real.

Harry had been so caught up in thinking that it took him a moment to notice that Louis was blushing, if you could call it that. Whether that came from embarrassment or flattery, Harry was pleased that it was his compliment that had caused it.

“Thanks,” he finally replied, grinning.

“So what was that out there about Eleanor?” Harry asked, wanting to change the subject and make things more normal for the two of them. “I didn’t think you’d still be friends after everything.”

“It’s really weird actually. We’re actually getting along.”

“That is weird,” Harry agreed, beginning to sway his body back and forth in an attempt to get Danny to fall asleep. “But why invite me?”

“Why not? We’re practically best mates now.”

Harry smiled sadly, wishing there was more to that. “Yeah, best mates.”

Louis had a blank look on his face. “Just best mates.”

“Yeah.” It took Harry everything not to show how much those simple words hurt him, touched him in such a way that he thought he would break down at any moment. Confusion hung over him because after reading Louis’ note, he was sure Louis felt the same way, but now that he was obviously pushing Harry away, perhaps he’d moved on.

He gulped, once again putting his feelings behind him and instead focused only on the moment. Harry looked down at Danny again and smiled. “Look, he’s asleep.”

Harry kissed him on the cheek one last time, and carefully put him back in his crib, spreading the small blanket over his tiny body. He turned back to Louis, who was shockingly standing closer than before. It was so tempting to tear off those braces and pull him close and-

“We’d better leave him alone.”

“Right.” Harry snapped himself out of his thoughts, trying to forget that he probably looked like an idiot for gaping at Louis. “Ready for dessert?”

“What?”

“Don’t think this is over yet,” Harry said with a smirk, then his expression softened into something more serious. “I apologise in advance for my mum. Just ignore everything she says, okay?” Louis had started chuckling softly then and Harry had to shush him. “Everything.”

He continued to laugh as they exited the room. “Gotcha.”

Anne had really outdone herself this time. She made a total of two cakes, and if that wasn’t enough already, she went through the trouble of cooking brownies and cookies. All for tonight.

“More tea, Lou?” she asked once they’d all eaten their share, and by share meaning they’d eaten to the point where diabetes was a probability.

“No thanks, I’ll probably die if I drink anymore.”

Harry knew Louis was joking, but the way he phrased it really got to him because now even when it still daytime and Louis was here, Harry was still reliving the pain he’d been trying desperately to forget. Try as he might, he couldn’t get the images of Louis laying in the hospital bed, attached to that damn IV, with the monitor marking down his every heartbeat. It could have stopped at any second, especially when Harry had left for a brief time. Maybe he should’ve truly stayed the entire time.

“I should probably go soon.” The moment Louis spoke the unwanted words, disappointment swept through Harry and he wanted nothing more than for Louis to stay, but that would be asking for too much.

“Oh, well it was nice having you over,” Anne said, smiling.

Louis smiled back. “It was nice being over.”

Harry took one good look at Louis and that was enough to improve his mood, even if it was just a fraction of help. Still, he forced a smile and insisted that he walk Louis to his car.

They stepped outside into the cool night, and it was particularly bright out. Harry’s eyes went up and saw the full moon bright and illuminating the night sky. He admitted he didn’t go outside much, and just being out here with Louis by his side made him so unquestionably happy.

“That was great,” Louis commented once they reached his car. “Your mum is really nice.”

Harry teased him, “Don’t get any ideas.”

Louis’ lips crept up to form a smirk, and Harry was fighting temptations that had started to form in his mind yet again. “Nah, she’s not my type.”

What is your type? Harry wanted to ask, but the moment had passed and it was too late to add onto that. He observed Louis getting into his car and heaved a breathy sigh, still upset that he was leaving. “Drive safely.”

“If I can get this damn thing to start.” Harry heard the engines turn on then off again, followed by Louis banging his hand against the dashboard. “Fuck!”

Harry moved closer to the car, tilting his head into the window to see Louis pressing down the petals repeatedly. “Alright?”

“I can’t get it to start,” Louis explained, looking absolutely irritated. He gestured for Harry to back up, then strutted his way to the front of the car. He lifted the lid and started coughing immediately with the smoke that was coming out. Louis groaned, kicking the side of the car forcefully. “Fucking piece of shit.”

“Is everything okay?” Harry heard Anne’s voice from behind them.

He looked to see his mum standing on the porch, her arms crossed, and it was evident that she was concerned.

“His car won’t start,” Harry explained for him, turning back to face him. “I can drive you home.”

“What about my car? I can’t just leave it here.”

Harry thought long and hard about it. Louis couldn’t leave his car here without having to somehow return tomorrow to retrieve it. “You’re right.”

“I’ll just walk home.” Louis started to head down the driveway, well aware of his intentions.

“Louis-” Harry began, but was cut off by Anne.

“You’re not going anywhere!”

Louis turned around, but not completely.

“You know better than to walk around at night. It’s not safe at this hour,” Anne explained, sounding the most serious she’d sounded all night. “You’re staying here tonight.”

“I wouldn’t want to-”

“Cut the manners, Louis. I’m a mum,” she said with a smile, as if that was an excuse to lack manners. “Now get inside!”

They obeyed, passing by Anne to enter the house once again. Harry led Louis to his room, making it evident that he was offering Louis his bed since, after all, he was the guest.

“Sorry about your car,” Harry finally said when they entered his room.

“I’ve had that piece of shit for years. I’m honestly surprised it didn’t break down sooner.”

Harry’s eyes wandered the room and nostalgia swept over him at the memories this room held. He remembered he had first lost his virginity in here with his first real girlfriend. Back then he was still bi-curious, leaning more towards the straight side, but once he’d accepted that he liked people regardless of gender, he hadn’t looked back since.

“I had this room when I was in high school,” Harry told the other boy, sitting himself down on the side of the bed. “Sorry for the mess, I’m still unpacking.” He jumped from the bed and went to his closet where he proceeded to pull out a simple white shirt with a pair of white and blue pajama bottoms. “They might be a little big.”

Louis simply shrugged. “That’s fine.” Then without warning, he stripped off his shirt right in front of Harry, as if it were nothing. Maybe it would have meant something different if Louis still had feelings for Harry, but since he obviously didn’t, Harry had no choice but to simply stand there, blushing and turning away like an idiot because staring at Louis’ body was too much to handle.

“Hey, I can take the couch,” Louis offered once he’d changed into Harry’s clothes. “You look like you need the sleep more than I do.”

“No way, you’re the guest.”

“Not really. I was forced to stay, remember?”

Harry chuckled. “Because you’d much rather be outside right now.”

“Why can’t you just take the bed?” Louis complained in a pouty voice. “I can handle the couch for one night.”

“You’ve already got my clothes, why can’t you just accept it like a man?” Harry teased him, sitting down on the edge of the bed.

Louis sat next to him, heaving a breathy sigh. “How about we settle this with some good old arm wrestling. You win, you get the couch. I win, you get the bed.”

“I don’t know if that’d be fair, I’m quite muscular,” Harry gloated, a smirk appearing on his face.

Louis crossed his arms. “Prove it.”

“What do you-” He didn’t finish because he knew exactly what he had to do. He grinned cheekily and slipped his shirt off, exposing his bare chest, and Louis’ eyes glued to him with a look of amusement. His grin widened as Louis bit down his lip. “See? I didn’t lie.”

“That doesn’t prove anything,” Louis told him, a new and suggestive edge to his voice. “How about we put it to the test?”

“You’re on.”

Louis rolled his body onto the bed, his chest touching the covers. He set his elbow down on the bed, ready for the arm wrestling to begin. Instead, Harry had a better idea, and found himself flying to the other side of the bed, nearly hitting Louis in the head, and he had somehow ended up on top of the other boy, who was panting underneath him.

“Push me off,” Harry commanded, observing how Louis looked from this angle, dominated and completely under his control. If only the situation were different…

A smirk unknowingly made its way onto Louis’ face and he traced a finger down Harry’s chest, warmth spreading throughout Harry and he wasn’t sure where this was going, but he liked it. “Maybe I don’t want to.”

Harry chuckled softly, moving his hands so they were cupping over Louis’. He hadn’t noticed it before, but his hands were a lot bigger than the other boy’s and he could only grin because he would use that to his advantage.

A lot of things happened then. Harry didn’t notice their odd position, or that their hips were brushing against each other, or anything else for that matter. He also didn’t notice the bulge in his pants which was becoming painfully obvious as he bent over to whisper in Louis’ ear cockily, “You lose.”

Louis laughed, his eyes going to Harry’s waist and then immediately to his face. Harry’s face flushed, knowing that Louis had definitely seen. But for some odd reason, he wasn’t embarrassed.

“Will you get off me now?” Strange how he didn’t sound like he wanted Harry to move. 

“Make me.”

Louis’ hands found Harry’s waist, and he had started to tickle his sides, moving his hands to tickle around his armpits as well and Harry was laughing like a school girl, slowly rolling over to the side. When he finally had control over himself, he flipped himself onto Louis again, pinning his hands down with much more force this time, still laughing from earlier. He moved one hand and began tickling Louis’ sides first, seeing as people were usually the most ticklish there. Then Harry removed his other hand, tickling Louis until he begged him to stop.

“I’m going to – break my laughbox!” Louis exclaimed between gasps of laughter.

“Harry?”

“Yeah?” Harry started to say, but then realised the voice was much more feminine and when he looked at the door, he saw his mum standing there with a puzzled look on her face. Harry looked down at Louis who was still laughing then back at his mum, who was still staring at them as if waiting for something to happen.

Harry pushed himself off the other boy and made his way towards his mum, realising he wasn’t wearing a shirt either which only added to the confusion.

“We were just having a tickle fight, I promise,” Harry assured her when they walked into the hallway.

“Oh, I don’t care what you were doing. As long as you have condoms and keep it down, of course-”

“Mum!”

Anne burst into laughter. “Kidding! It’s probably not best to have sex in your mother’s house anyhow-”

“Oh God, please stop.” Harry ran a hand up and down his face, trying to get himself to stop blushing because it was becoming very noticeable and he was sure his mother knew about his crush now.

“I’m just saying, you’re not a kid anymore. You can whatever you want.”

“Don’t you have porn to read?” Harry snapped at her, tired of the embarrassment she’d caused today.

She placed a hand on her hips. “It’s not porn.”

“Unpublished stories, whatever floats your boat,” Harry wagged a hand in her face, starting off in the different direction.

“Harry,” she said in a voice that could only undermine guilt. “What’s wrong?”

Harry shook his head. He refused to tell her, at least for now, because, hello, Louis was still here. “I’m just tired.” Which wasn’t a lie. Harry was utterly exhausted.

He headed back to his room, seeing Louis sitting on the bed, his back against the headboard. He smiled, tapping silently on the door. Harry walked inside, feeling eyes on him the whole time. He picked his shirt off the ground, slipping it back on quickly. He was about to leave, but decided he might as well say goodnight to Louis.

“I’m going to sleep. Let me know if you need anything.”

Louis sent him a smile, a real smile, unlike the smirks and cheeky grins he’d received earlier. “See ya, Haz.”

Harry smiled at the nickname, remembering the first time he’d been called that by Louis. The only other people who knew about the nickname were his old friend Liam, and, well, Niall. So he was quite surprised that Louis had somehow caught onto it.

His mum had been nice enough to set up everything for Harry in the living room, which made him feel bad for being so rude to her after all she’s done for him. Especially today. The day didn’t go as bad as he’d anticipated, not bad at all actually. With that satisfying thought, he crawled into the duvet, struggling to get comfortable. At least the couch could be converted into a bed. Harry wasn’t sure he could sleep on a lumpy cushion the whole night.

He was perfectly okay until he started thinking again.

When he closed his eyes, Louis was the first thing that came to mind. Every thought seemed to consume him, which wasn’t any different than any other night, but with the knowledge that Louis was so close to him, he couldn’t bring himself to stop fidgeting. He couldn’t get the images out of his head. He remembered the minute he walked into the hospital to the minute Louis opened his eyes after days of waiting. Harry remembered staring at him for hours, until his eyes had grown tired, and he had forced himself to stay awake in fear that Louis would never awaken, or that he would miss the moment he did.

The hospital incident wasn’t what had created these feelings; those feelings had bottled up for much too long, to the point where it had ruined Harry’s relationship with Niall. And Harry hated that it happened, but at the same time, he had the urge to embrace this wonderful feeling towards Louis until there was nothing left of him. And don’t think this was just because of that letter.

Harry was downright confused. Louis had gone out and written this meaningful note to Harry, which he was never meant to read, but once Harry tried to show some interest, Louis acted as if it meant nothing to him.

He threw his head into the pillow, forcing himself to stop thinking. His thoughts surprisingly calmed down after a while, and now he was only thinking of Louis’ feathery hair and how the fringe swept past his face, and of course, his angelic voice with a mouth to match. It wasn’t like Harry was obsessed or anything, though. Just fascinated.

Harry removed his face from the pillow, taking a deep breath. He needed something else to think about. He could think about the possibility of Zayn dating Niall, but that wasn’t any better. He snapped his eyes shut, forcing them to stay shut. He was going to sleep even if it killed him.

His plan didn’t work out so well when he heard footsteps coming from the hallway. He closed his eyes, pretending to be asleep in case it were his mum. She was worried enough, there was no need to cause her further trouble.

When the footsteps came to a stop, Harry’s eyes flew open to see what could only be Louis’ shadow in front of the bed.

Harry frowned, trying to adjust his eyes to the darkness. “What are you doing here?”

“I couldn’t sleep.”

“Me neither,” Harry confessed, deciding there was no point hiding it from Louis.

Louis sat on the edge of the bed, turning his body to face Harry.

“It was probably my mum’s cooking.”

“Nah, I’ve slept way too much these days.”

“Wish I could say the same,” Harry scoffed, keeping in mind that he hadn’t slept properly for over two weeks now.

His night vision had adjusted so that he could see Louis grimacing. “Too much work?”

“I wish,” Harry replied with a laugh.

“Then what’s keeping you awake?”

It took him a moment to come up with a good response. Harry didn’t want to lie, but he also didn’t want Louis to know that he still wasn’t over the whole hospital deal. “Nothing. Just stressed over certain things.” You, he wanted to say.

“I see.”

Harry scooted over to the other side of the bed, making room for the other boy. Louis seemed to get the hint because he easily slipped himself into the duvet as if there was nothing wrong with sharing the same bed. And Harry adored the fact that Louis didn’t seem to acknowledge the word “awkward” in his vocabulary.

He did not, however, expect Louis to lay down so close to him, especially to the point where their bodies were touching. Harry could feel their shoulders brushing against each other and if he paid enough attention, the hair on their legs were barely touching. Harry’s heart was racing at the intimacy and he could only hope that Louis couldn’t hear the pounding in his chest.

He breathed sharply, trying to calm down his heartbeat to try and strike up a conversation. Then he remembered Niall and the first time they slept like this; right after their hook-up. Which led him to say… “You know, I don’t understand how you managed to stay friends with Eleanor.”

“Exes can be friends, you know.” When Louis spoke, it seemed his voice was echoing in the room and it was a beautiful sound to Harry’s ears.

“Seems too good to be true,” Harry said, looking up at the ceiling. “I mean, I’m sure Niall’s looking forward to having nothing to do with me.”

“Is there something you’re not telling me?”

“No,” Harry responded quickly, not wanting to give himself away.

“It sounds like he’s a lot more upset than you.”

Harry sighed loudly, knowing Louis wasn’t going to let this go. He figured he might as well get it out of the way, since he’d already lied to Louis about Danny. “He didn’t break up with me,” he confessed. “I broke up with him.”

There was a painfully long and awkward pause after that, and it was clear Louis wasn’t going to say anything.

“It wasn’t working out,” he further explained.

“Same excuse for every breakup.” Louis turned his head to the other side, and Harry remembered that was the same reason for Louis’ breakup.

The words exploded out of Harry. “He expected me to stay home and be with Danny twenty-four seven while we went out and lived his life. He wouldn’t let me have one if he wasn’t involved and he was even super clingy and easily jealous.”

“Well, sometimes jealousy shows you care.”

“Yeah, but there’s a fine line between caring and arguing,” Harry said in disagreement, “and Niall wouldn’t let me talk to other people without getting upset.”

“Is that why you keep running away?”

Louis’ words had been so random and had caught Harry off guard that he had to formulate his words in fear that he would answer with a yes, because that was the truth. Instead, he found himself saying, “Who says I’m running away?”

Harry found himself unintentionally entwining his fingers with Louis underneath the covers. Louis had turned his head back to face Harry and his breath hitched, the proximity of their faces creating unwanted temptations.

He pulled his hand away and laid on his back, watching the ceiling again. “About this fair… when is it?”

“Friday,” Louis answered, then paused. “Are you coming?”

Harry’s face flushed, remembering his fear of roller coasters. “I, well, I don’t know…”

“Please? You can’t leave me alone with Eleanor.”

“It’s not that.” Harry had no problem with Eleanor; in fact, he actually thought she was really nice. “It’s – nothing.”

“What other reason could there possibly be?” The volume of Louis’ voice had risen, and Harry could sense his impatience.

Harry sighed, deciding to just say it. “I hate roller coasters.”

“Then we won’t go on any.”

“I don’t want to take away from your fun,” Harry insisted, embarrassed.

Louis sighed loudly, his hot breath hitting Harry in the neck, causing him to shiver. “The only way you can take away from my fun is by not coming.”

Harry couldn’t help but smile at that. That was probably the sweetest thing Louis had ever said to him, excluding the things said in the letter, of course.

“So what do you say?”

Harry was delighted that Louis was going to all this trouble to get him to come, and he hoped it wasn’t only because Louis didn’t want to be stuck with Eleanor the whole time. Even with that thought, spending an entire day with the man he loved couldn’t be so bad.

“I guess I’ll go,” Harry gave his final answer, a small smile plastering his face.

“Yay!” Louis exclaimed, throwing an arm over Harry’s chest.

Harry was blushing furiously at the sudden contact, but he didn’t want him to pull away. In fact, he had been so possessive in his endeavor that when he felt Louis’ arm move, he pressed his arm over it before he could.

“You should go to sleep,” Louis said to him, after he finally pulled his arm away. “You look exhausted.”

“I’m fine.” Or, at least, he was fine now that Louis was by his side.

“I’m sure whatever’s bothering you can’t keep you up much longer.”

“You don’t know that,” Harry replied, knowing that despite the fact that Louis was just trying to help, he had no idea what was lurking in Harry’s mind, especially in the middle of the night.

Louis threw the covers off his body, sitting upright on the bed. “Well, quit worrying. Wouldn’t want any wrinkles on that pretty face.”

Surprisingly, there was no wink after that statement which made Harry question whether Louis meant it. He didn’t have time to think because then he felt lips cover his forehead for a brief moment. When Louis pulled away, silence passed between them and Harry’s heart was beating, wanting to return the favour somehow.

“Goodnight.” Then Louis got up and left without another word.


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Louis and Eleanor gave their baby up for adoption, they never expected the new parents to be two males. They also didn’t expect Louis to fall in love with one of them.

Friday

 

“On the left,” Louis pointed his hand out the window, the wind feeling cool against his skin. Eleanor followed his orders and shifted to the left, a well-designed architecture made solely of brick standing before them.

“Lovely house,” Eleanor commented, pulling into the driveway. She switched the car off and sat there, shooting Louis a look of impatience. “Well, go on!”

Louis sighed breathlessly, getting up and out of his seat, slamming the door behind him as his feet trudged up the steps to the front porch, the same place he’d been hardly a couple days ago. He sucked in a ball of air, his hand pressing down on the doorbell, and the distinct sound of the bell could be heard through the walls. When the door finally opened, Louis had been expecting Anne so it was a bit surprising to see those Cheshire curls again.

“I love the new look, Styles,” Louis said in encouragement, adoring how the fabric of his light green shirt clung to his body, rolling over his black chinos, something he had not expected to see Harry pull off.

“Nice capris.”

Louis’ eyes darted down to glance at his jeans which were folded slightly above his ankles, all in all, a very casual, yet fashionable look. “Thanks, they’re brand new,” he pointed out, his face beaming at the compliment, though it was evident Harry was actually messing with him. Then honking blared in his ears and he looked back at Eleanor who was staring at him impatiently, gesturing for them to get in the car. “We’d better go before she has a hissy fit.”

Harry chuckled, following Louis from behind. “Hissy fit…”

“Shotgun!” Louis called out, jumping into the passenger seat. His hands flew to the button which activated the radio. Overrated pop music played silently in the car until Louis adjusted the volume so it was now blaring obnoxiously.

“Good to see you again, Harry,” Eleanor shouted over the noise, her head turned to the rear of the car as she began to back up.

“Good to see you, El.”

Eleanor slammed the brakes, heaving a deep sigh before yelling, “For God’s sake, turn that down before I get us killed!”

“Attitude.” Louis scoffed as if offended by the simple request. He rolled his eyes, readjusting the volume low enough for their voices to be heard.

“I feel very excluded back here,” Harry mumbled, and it was hardly a second later that Louis turned around to pinch Harry’s cheeks with all his might.

“Aww, Harry!”

“Stop, ow! That hurts!” Harry complained, immediately grabbing onto Louis’ hands, grasping them tightly until Louis was begging for mercy.

Louis then observed the redness on Harry’s cheeks, obviously from having them pinched. He couldn’t bring himself not to laugh at that. “Your cheeks! They’re so rosy and pink! ‘S so cute!”

To be honest, Harry looked as if he was ready to punch Louis in the face but luckily, Eleanor prevented the continuation of their banter, if you could call it that. When they pulled out of the neighborhood, she asked them, “Do you want to stop somewhere and eat first?”

Louis was the first to respond, quickly and completely sure of himself. “Anywhere but Starbucks.”

“They don’t serve lunch, babe,” she replied, speaking her role as their dedicated customer. She swerved into a turn, leading them into another parking lot where she pointed at the restaurant up ahead. “There’s Nando’s.”

“I’ve never been there,” Louis admitted, slightly embarrassed and secretly hoping he wasn’t the only one.

“You’re kidding.”

Harry chimed in, obviously speaking from experience. “Yeah, man, they have the best chicken.”

A chuckle escaped Louis’ lips and he was glad nobody was judging him for never having eaten there. After some banter and laughter, Eleanor finally pulled into the drive-thru, and after spending about ten minutes waiting for their food, they were on the road again. Louis had to give it to Eleanor, he was rather impressed and a bit concerned about her multitasking skills that she able to eat while driving almost effortlessly.

Louis swallowed some of his chicken, a little caught off by the taste. He had expected it to be delicious mostly based on Harry’s opinion, but he never expected to truly like it. He remembered Nando’s and how Zayn had mentioned it to the text to Niall. He wondered if Niall was fond of the restaurant himself.

He sipped some of his soda, eyes wavering over to Eleanor whose attention was focused on the road ahead. “Are we there yet?”

“No.” Her response was instantaneous and almost a bit annoyed, but maybe that had something to do with the fact that Louis had asked twice already.

Once Louis finished his food, he turned around to see that Harry was still eating. His eyes caught onto the remaining chicken sitting in his lap and he couldn’t help but ask, “Are you gonna eat that?”

Harry smirked as he swallowed his last bite, handing the rest of his food to the boy in the front. “Pig.”

“I’m skinnier than you!”

“Rude.” Harry grinned at him, obviously not at all offended by Louis’ attempt at calling him fat, which Louis might add, was far from the truth.

Eleanor suddenly announced, “Okay, hurry up and eat. We’re here.”

And upon hearing that, Louis proceeded to throw food into his mouth like it was nobody’s business. He could only hope that he wouldn’t be piled over a trashcan later, regretting this thoughtless decision.

Eleanor let out a frustrated groan after circling the parking lot for about five minutes. “How the fuck am I going to find a parking space?”

“Sexual favours.” It had completely blurted out of Louis and call him arrogant, but he was quite impressed that he’d come up with something so clever in such a short amount of time, and it helped that the boy in the backseat was laughing along with him, that is, until Eleanor shot him a glare and silence boomed in the vehicle. Louis sighed, ready for her fury. “You can drop us off and leave.”

Eleanor’s head turned to the left, her hand immediately smacking Louis on his upper arm.

“I was kidding!”

He heard Harry chuckle from behind. “Is that to the sex or the second option?”

Louis smiled, glancing back at him, a look of amusement shown along with the wagging of his eyebrows. His head went back to Eleanor as if trying to prove something. “See, I like Harry. He’s got a sense of humour.”

The vehicle came to a stop, and Louis realised they were at the entrance. Eleanor waved a hand in his face, telling him, “Meet me in the front, yeah?”

Louis and Harry left the car, making their way towards the entrance, stopping when they couldn’t go any further unless they had tickets. Louis’ face beamed, noticing how the light was shown through strands of Harry’s curls, and he mentally slapped himself for paying an incredible amount of his attention to this boy.

“Looks like that’s a no to sexual favours.”

“What a shame.” Harry nodded his head sadly, acting as if it was the end of the world. “Do you have the tickets?”

“No, El does. I guess she doesn’t trust us to wait for her,” Louis figured, shrugging.

“I don’t blame her,” the curly-haired lad said with a laugh, his eyes darting to the entrance behind Louis. “So this isn’t as big as I thought it’d be.”

“Well, it’s an annual fair. What did you expect?”

“I don’t see any roller coasters,” Harry observed, looking somewhat relieved.

“There’s a couple,” Louis began, then came to notice the pained look Harry was wearing, because he suddenly remembered Harry’s dislike for the mechanisms. “But we won’t go on them.”

Harry almost looked reassured, if not a bit more relaxed, but he was smiling so that was enough to convince Louis. “Okay.”

Louis patted his pants, already feeling the uncomfortable warmth surging through his body, and Harry wasn’t the one to blame this time. “I should’ve worn different pants,” he started to complain. “What was I thinking? It’s a fucking sauna out here.”

Harry laughed at him, crossing his arms as his eyes searched up and down Louis’ body. “At least you look stylish.”

“You’re not too bad yourself, mate.”

Eleanor showed up moments later, pulling the tickets out of her pocket. They entered the fair quickly and easily, Eleanor being the last one to enter since she was a bit preoccupied with staring at the guy in the ticket stand.

Louis was the first to comment on it when they left the man’s sight. “But did you see the way he was looking at you?”

“Shut up, Louis.”

“I’m just saying!” He said with a shrug, grinning excitedly. “He was cute too.” He wasn’t afraid to admit that, whether or not that gave his sexuality away to Harry. There was nothing wrong with appreciating good looks.

As they walked further, Louis almost wanted to thank Eleanor for convincing him to come. Though this place gave him so many memories, good and bad, he was still incredibly happy that he showed up even after everything that went down these past weeks. The fair wasn’t massive, that was for sure. It wasn’t tiny, either, though. There were two roller coasters, which was rather impressive since they were considered the kind of machinery typically only popular in amusement parks.

“So lads!” Louis cheered as Eleanor yet again hit him in the arm at the remark. “Where shall we go to first?”

“Anything but the spinny rides, the last thing I want is getting dizzy.”

Louis laughed at Eleanor’s choice of vocabulary, but figured it was best they didn’t get themselves sick before they had the chance to do anything. He looked over to their far left, the sign grasping his attention. “How about bumper cars?”

The other two agreed and off they went, each getting their own car. Louis was debating sharing a car with Harry but he figured it’d be too weird to ask, plus they would spend the entire time arguing over who should drive and that might have taken away from their fun. It turned out, somehow Harry and Louis had ganged up on Eleanor, cornering her with no way out. They were laughing as she struggled to try to back up but fail miserably, that is, until another car came up behind Harry, knocking him forward, his car moving forward as well, allowing access for Eleanor to escape. They all chased each other after that, bumping into each other every now and then, laughing and enjoying the simplicity of it all, until their time was up.

Louis was playing a carnival game shortly after, Harry cheering him from behind. Though he appreciated the moral support, it wasn’t enough to win him anything. It was funny how he was expected to have good aim, considering he was a guy, and even then none of that was enough to get him to knock down all the pins. Eleanor patted him on the back, and Harry assured him that the stuffed animals were all shit anyway.

They all went on a few spinny rides after that, until they couldn’t be bothered to ride anymore for fear that it might cause them motion sickness, or anything else to ruin their day. The three of them walked around the area, and Louis had a glimpse of some familiar faces. He even recognised people back from high school, people who used to refer to him as their friend that Louis ended up never speaking to again. If that was one thing he regretted, it was pushing others away simply because he wasn’t interested, but at the same time, he never brought himself to care.

They must have walked around for at least ten minutes because Eleanor finally insisted they go on one of the roller coasters, the Raging Typhoon. The ride didn’t really live up to its name because it really was an ordinary roller coaster that had its flips, corkscrews, and drops. However, the other roller coaster didn’t compare with its shorter length, and we all knew Louis wasn’t a fan of short length.

Louis was seconds away from agreeing with Eleanor because his excitement had him raveled up that he had to remind himself to take Harry into consideration. And with the scared expression he wore, Louis knew he couldn’t go.

“You can go,” he told Eleanor. “I’ll stay with Harry.”

“No, I want to come too.”

Louis was thrown back, absolutely shocked that Harry had said that. “Really?”

“Yes,” Harry replied, confidently. Maybe he was a little too confident.

“Are you sure?” Louis wanted to make sure Harry wasn’t only wanting to impress him or anything, because frankly, that boy was the enigma of everything Louis had ever sought to find in a person, and the idea that anything could top that was unjustified and unnecessary.

Harry sighed, sounding a bit annoyed that Louis was still questioning his decision-making. “Yes, Louis.”

“Okay!” Louis couldn’t deny the excitement that was sweeping through him as a large smile crossed his face, and he wrapped an arm over Harry’s shoulder, keeping it in place as they made their way to the entrance.

Harry seemed just as excited as Louis until the line started to move up. Their shoulders were just barely brushing against each other and Louis could distinctly sense that Harry was shaking, unless that was his mind playing tricks on him.

“You okay?”

“Yeah,” Harry confirmed with a nod, but he didn’t look okay. “Just a little nervous.”

“You don’t have to do this.”

“No, I want to.”

Louis still wasn’t convinced and as the line moved up further and they were getting closer, it wasn’t a moment later than he felt Harry’s fingers weave around his, holding onto his hand tightly, in fact, so tight, Louis could actually feel the fear radiating from the other boy. He didn’t bother questioning it, though, knowing he would only annoy Harry and possibly make him feel worse. But he couldn’t stop himself from shooting Harry a look of concern, as if to once again assure him that he didn’t have to go on the ride.

When it was their turn and the gate opened, Louis and Harry walked through, their hands still entwined. Louis finally released his grip to take his shoes off, and Harry repeated the action, setting his shoes down inside a cubicle. Louis moved to sit at the end of the grey seat in their row, and Harry walked over to him, sitting in the seat beside him.

It took Louis a second to hear Harry’s heavy breathing above all the noise, and Harry sighed, sounding troubled when he spoke. ”I’m scared, Lou.”

Louis moved his head out to look at the other boy, placing a hand over his cheek, patting him softly with a sympathetic look. “You didn’t have to come.”

Lifting his arms in the air, the restraints came down over Louis’ head, and he pushed it into his stomach as far as it went until it locked into place. There was no way Harry could change his mind now.

“Is it too late to get up?” Harry laughed, but there was no humor intended whatsoever.

Louis managed to reach out far enough to grab Harry’s hand beside him, dropping it a moment later, deciding that was all the comfort he could possibly give Harry.

“I can’t do this.” Harry’s voice sounded so unjustified, so unsure of himself, and it broke Louis inside to see Harry so frightened.

“I promise you’ll be fine, love,” the words flickered off his tongue, as if he normally spoke this way to him, especially the word of endearment added to the end. “Now please try to relax.”

When the ride started, they first went upward, the most intimidating part of the ride. Even Louis admitted that this part could be a little scary, especially considering how high they were to go, but he was screaming with excitement inside for the drops and flips that would follow after. Next to him, he could hear Harry swearing every word in the book, and even though he felt bad that Harry had forced himself on when it was clear he wanted to be anywhere but here, Louis was smiling and grateful that he was able to share this experience with him.

As they went down, Louis felt as if he was falling forward, even with the restraints holding him back. Gravity was doing its job, making him feel as if he was flying, and there was truly nothing that compared to the feeling of weightlessness. The flips came next, along with a couple of corkscrews. He was screaming and enjoying the feeling as the wind picked up and rushed against his face, and even loved how his head kept lodging back to the seat as they went upside down. This was the last drop now, and a bright white light flashed in his eyes, and he smiled ridiculously, knowing the pictures were going to be bloody awful.

“It gets better every time,” Louis said to Harry after slipping his shoes on after the ride was over. He gave Harry a warm smile, admiring how his hair was slightly pushed back, the tousled curls messier than usual, but nonetheless, as perfect as ever. “How’re you holding up?”

“That wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be,” Harry admitted, grinning.

Louis continued to smile, patting him on the back, and although he wouldn’t say it out loud, inside he knew just how proud he was of Harry for overcoming his fear of roller coasters. With that satisfying thought, his eyes scanned the area once they entered the building where their pictures would be shown. “Now where’s El?”

But Harry wasn’t listening. “I look like a bloody retard.”

Louis looked for their picture, and when he found it, he first looked at himself and nearly burst into hysterics because he just looked so indescribably ridiculous compared to Harry, whose eyes were squinting with his mouth open, obviously in the middle of screaming. Surprisingly though, Harry didn’t look half bad.

“You look like you were having fun,” Louis told him truthfully, smirking. “Nobody would’ve guessed how scared you were before.”

“I was not!” And when Louis simply laughed in pure amusement that Harry was so in denial and afraid to admit how terrified he had been, Harry punched him the arm, demanding that he shut up, which only made him laugh harder.

Louis felt an arm wrap around his shoulder, and assumed it was Harry at first but then saw another arm wrapped over Harry’s shoulder as well.

“So guess who has a date Friday night?” Eleanor bragged, tightening her grip around both their necks until she was practically strangling them, the two boys gasping for air until she released her hold.

“The lucky guy in the front?” Louis guessed, straightening his collar.

She nodded, her voice chirpy and she was a little jumpy herself. “We sat next to each other and talked until the ride started. And he just asked me out,” she grinned, looking the happiest in a long time. “We’re starting to get on really well!”

“That’s a lovely story to tell your kids,” Louis began, speaking at a high pitch in order to sound as annoying as possible. “Your father and I met on a roller coaster – ah!”

Eleanor shut him up by elbowing him in the stomach. “Shut it, you twat. What will you tell your kids? I’m your father and so is-”

“So!” Louis couldn’t deny the redness that appeared on his cheeks just then, and he managed to cut her off before she could continue. “Where to next?”

“I kind of wanted to go on the Ferris wheel,” Harry confessed, then shrugged when all eyes were on him. “Call me a girl, but that’s always my favorite ride.”

Louis smiled because even though his favorite ride was the Raging Typhoon, he adored the fact that Harry seemed like a romantic, which didn’t exactly help with his feelings, because Louis wasn’t sure he could love Harry any more than he already did.

“You two can go,” Eleanor insisted, flashing Louis a smile which only meant one thing. “I’m gonna go find… shit, what was his name?”

Louis laughed, rolling his eyes. “Of course.”

“Hey. Unlike you, I might actually get a boyfriend today,” she pointed out, a superior and scarily mischievous grin shown on her face. “Although you are going on the Ferris wheel, the most romantic of all rides. Who knows what will happen?”

Louis glared at her, shooting her a sarcastic smile. “Have fun, use a condom!” He almost added onto that, ‘Wouldn’t want another child!’ but didn’t, considering how that would most likely ruin their new friendship.

“You two seem to get on well,” Harry observed once Eleanor had left them alone.

“Now that we’re not dating, yeah. I guess there’s just less pressure.”

They both shared a look of understanding, though Louis wasn’t sure exactly how Harry was able to relate, considering to the extent of Louis’ knowledge, he hadn’t spoken to Niall in weeks. Leaving those thoughts behind, the wait for the ride didn’t take too long and when their turn came, Louis and Harry sat in their cart across from each other, talking and laughing as they began to move.

“Wow, you can see everything,” Harry pointed out once they started to get to the top.

“It’s quite the view.” Louis remembered the last time he came here. He was only with Eleanor and they kissed when they stopped at the top. It was weird thinking how he and Eleanor used to be so close, intimately speaking, and yet they were still so close today, just not in the same way. The kissing thought, however, only made the desire to kiss Harry creep up further until he was actually playing it out in his mind.

Harry’s laugh slammed a break to Louis’ eager thoughts. “What the fuck is he doing? Oh God, he’s eating!”

“Who?”

Harry pointed to the cart above them, which was now hidden as the ascended, but was shown again below them in plain sight. Louis began laughing when he spotted a middle-aged man eating a foot-long sandwich all by himself. “I thought food and drinks weren’t allowed.”

“He probably hid it in his belly folds.”

Louis laughed hysterically, his sides starting to hurt. “Can’t imagine the taste.”

Harry shook his head, chuckles continuing to pour out of him.

“What?” Louis said after calming himself down a bit.

“You’re just so weird.”

“Weird how?” Louis leaned forward, raising an eyebrow, “Good weird or bad weird?”

Harry crossed his legs, leaning back into the cart. “Well you don’t have any food on you, or at least that’s what I’m hoping.”

“I haven’t quite reached that level of weird yet.”

“Yet?” Harry moved forward, a smirk working its way onto his face. “Should I be worried?”

“No way! I couldn’t bear to lose my figure.”

“You have a point,” Harry said in agreement, and Louis took it himself to notice that Harry had agreed, though there was probably no further meaning behind the small banter. “Gotta keep those ladies on their feet.”

Louis erupted into laughter, because for one thing, there were definitely no ladies all over him, and Louis wasn’t even sure he liked girls anymore. But Harry didn’t need to know that.

“We should do something tonight. I mean, after this,” Harry suggested, and already Louis’ heart started to race at the thought of hanging out with Harry again.

“We could grab a pizza and eat at my house,” the feathered-haired boy chirped, then clammed a hand over his face in shame. “God, I sound so desperate. But nothing wrong with company, eh?”

“Say no more! I’ll even go crazy and bring Bambi.”

Louis frowned, cocking one eyebrow.

“What? That’s my favorite movie.” Harry’s eyes averted to the bottom of the cart, his face flushed, and Louis suddenly felt bad for making him feel ashamed just for liking a movie.

He sighed, deciding that Harry’s happiness meant the most to him. “Fine, we’ll watch it.”

“Yay!” Harry cheered, a smile plastering his face, looking a lot more comfortable now. “And I promise not to draw on your face if you fall asleep.”

“Then where’s the fun in that?” The two of them laughed at that, then ensued to stare into each other’s eyes for a matter of seconds until Louis began to notice the way Harry’s curls were bouncing with the wind. “Your hair,” he started. “It’s…”

“Lovely and luscious?”

And then Louis rambled like there was no tomorrow. “Well yeah, but I was going more for out of control, except that’s not exactly the case because it still looks as good as usual.”

Harry smiled, his face perking up upon the compliment. “You think my hair looks good? Oh Lou, you’ve made me blush!”

Louis shrugged, but there was an undeniable grin that was the result of the two of them really hitting it off now. “I do have a thing for curls.” His face went scarlet, realising how honest he had been. “Sorry… I was just speaking my mind there.”

“Oh, I don’t mind,” Harry responded quickly, and then smiled at the younger boy as if nothing else mattered.

It was only a few moments later that Louis’ hand grazed over the empty spot beside him, giving Harry a pleading look which was obviously hinting that he wanted Harry next to him. “Come on, Curly.”

Harry frowned at him, but started to get up. “Is that allowed?”

“We’re not moving,” Louis pointed out with a shrug. He moved more to the side as Harry stood up and carefully walked over to where Louis was sitting. “Steady…”

Then Harry smirked widely, his hands on the side of the cart, shaking it purposefully, and Louis was so caught off guard, not to mention a tad terrified considering how high they were. He latched his arms onto Harry’s waist, pulling him down onto his lap and eventually pushing him to the empty space, proceeding to bury his face in his chest.

“You fucking scared me,” he muttered into Harry’s shirt, feeling the warmth of his skin through the fabric, not really caring about the amount of intimacy they shared.

“I’m sorry,” said Harry in an apologetic voice, and Louis felt a hand brush the back of his neck, causing the hair on his skin to stick up.

Louis sat back up in a way that his face was no longer on the other boy’s chest, but their bodies were still touching in a way. He cocked his head up to meet Harry’s lovely, green orbs which were flawless especially now that he was able to see them up close. Louis didn’t even notice that he’d started to lean onto Harry as their cart began moving, and when their shoulders brushed together, Louis’ breath caught in his throat.

The next time the ride stopped, they weren’t exactly at the top, but they were fairly close. And Louis wanted so badly to kiss Harry knowing that this was probably his best chance, but then he put matters to hand and then he knew that doing so again would only create more trouble for the two of them.

But the way the vein in Harry’s neck was shown when he’d taken his eyes from Louis to gaze up at the sky and then back at the boy in his arms, the striking emerald peering into Louis as he fought to contain the overwhelming feelings that were mooning over him, was all too tempting.

“Harry…”

“Yeah?” And there he went with that fucking flawless voice again. What was Louis doing to himself?

“Your eyes…” Louis gulped, fighting to keep his hold on reality, “they’re always this green?”

Harry didn’t answer; he didn’t have to. Louis couldn’t resist gazing at those perfect lips lying before him and it wasn’t too long after that he became aware that Harry was staring as well. Not only that, but their heads had grown overwhelmingly close, and Louis’ breath was hitching and he found it difficult to breathe as he felt Harry’s hot breath trickling above his lip. That’s when Louis became aware of how much he wanted this, how much he wanted all of Harry, but there wasn’t a thing he could do about it, and if he took the risk now, he could lose Harry again, except this time forever.

Their lips had barely touched when Louis found himself awkwardly pulling back. He paced himself, taking a deep breath before pointing down at the sight below. “Wow, look at how tiny everyone looks.” And yes, Louis was perfectly aware how painfully obvious he was.

“I guess this is what it feels to be on top of the world,” Harry murmured, flashing his perfectly white teeth at Louis, that damn dimple coming into view.

Louis chuckled. “Since when did you become so deep?”

“Puberty,” Harry joked, laughs spurting from Louis, the past five minutes totally forgotten, or so he hoped. “Today’s been absolutely fantastic. Thank you for making me come.”

“I didn’t make you come,” Louis couldn’t stop himself from scoffing, grinning cheekily at the play of their words.

“Well, it did take a bit of convincing.”

Louis took out his phone, still leaning onto the other boy, I might add. He put the device out in front of them and told Louis to smile. “Say, ‘Louis is purely the definition of sex and I want in his pants so badly I won’t even lie’.”

Harry laughed at that, but he did comply, and it took everything Louis had not to burst into hysterics when the picture was taken. When they looked at it afterwards, Louis was quite impressed with how well it had turned out. It was actually kind of… cute.

The comfortable chatter that they settled into lasted up until they exited the ride, laughing at nonsense as their feet escalated to nowhere in particular. Louis was in the midst of telling Harry about something he’d seen on the internet the previous day when his eyes glanced at the familiarity in front of him.

He saw Niall first since he had been staring at Harry this entire time and Louis had only just noticed. Silence passed between Harry and Louis as they made their way to the other two boys, and it was undeniable that they were indeed together.

Louis skipped the introductions, in fact, so preoccupied with the moment that he forgot all about Harry when he started to make conversation with Zayn, trying to remain calm despite how much he wanted to start yelling. It was truly shocking how easily Louis’ mood had been able to change.

“I see you and Niall have really hit it off.”

“Yeah,” Zayn replied, his face going blank, as if he knew Louis was about to guilt trip him.

“Well let me tell you, I’m happy for you, Zayn,” Louis assured him, trying to sound the least bit supportive, “even though you never told me.”

“I was going to, I swear. But I just couldn’t find the right time and I was so scared that you’d hate me for taking Niall away from Harry.”

“Do you honestly think I’d be so upset over that?” Sure, Louis was upset that Zayn was dating Niall, but not for the reason Zayn had thought.

“Then what?”

Louis let out a breathy sigh, trying to remain under control, but as he stared into Zayn’s brown eyes, he could practically see the guilt curdling in his orbs. “You seem to be forgetting that I was in a coma for three days. Three fucking days and not once did you come to see me.” He blinked, remembering that Zayn hadn’t bothered talking to him afterward either. “What kind of friend are you?”

Zayn looked surprised – more like pretended to look the least bit caught off guard. “I swear, Lou, I had no idea. Nobody told me.”

“Not even Eleanor?”

Zayn simply looked down, and Louis just knew he wasn’t being honest here.

He crossed his arms, continuing to give Zayn a stare down, demanding for the truth. “Well?”

“She called… I never picked up.”

“Let me guess, you were too busy?” The anger was now coiling through Louis and there was nothing he could do, or wanted to do, to stop himself from continuing. “Too busy to consider that something might have happened to your best friend?”

“How was I supposed to know?”

Louis licked his lips, his expression faltering into an angrier look. “Maybe if you stopped being a coward and answered your fucking phone…”

“Maybe if you stopped yelling and took this more maturely instead of acting like an arrogant twelve-year old-”

“Fuck off, Zayn,” Louis murmured, then exploded in rage. “Fuck. You.” He turned his body away, ready to walk away dramatically, but then he caught a glimpse of something else.

Niall and Harry. Kissing.

It killed Louis to keep looking, but with every second that passed, he could feel his insides groveling away and the pain soared through him, everywhere hurting and Louis could only feel one thing: betrayal.

He sniffed, turning back to face Zayn, a smirk playing on his already trembling lips. “Looks like Niall doesn’t love you after all.”

Zayn simply stared at Louis, his tension expression showing hurt and frustration. “He felt sorry for him. I mean, I would too. He has to put up with you after all.” Zayn looked back at Louis one last time, a look that Louis knew he would regret receiving later, and then his best friend took off, pulling Niall away with him. Louis had no choice but to stand there and just take it, confused and upset, and wanting to leave more than anything.

“Is everything okay?” The familiar voice caused him to jump, and Louis’ heart was pounding in his chest, feeling that with his lack of control, he was bound to break down any minute now.

Louis continued to stare at the emptiness in front of him, where his best friend once stood, and he refused to look at Harry for fear that he’d break into sobs. So with his quivering lips, he managed to get out, “You still love him.”

“I – what?”

“You used me.”

“Louis-”

Louis shook his head in disbelief, and the pain was too much for him that he even found himself smiling to blink away the rapidly forming tears. “I can’t believe it. You got my hopes up and everything, and now…” he sniffed, flicking a finger below his nose. “Now I found out I’m just a bloody rebound.”

“Rebound?” Harry almost sounded insulted, but Louis was too upset to give his full attention. “Where did you get that idea?”

“Don’t act like you don’t know,” Louis snapped back, wishing Harry would just get it already.

Instead, he was furrowing his eyebrows in confusion. “What are you talking about?”

Louis sniffed again, the knot twisting further in his throat, and the tears were already making their way down Louis’ cheeks, but the boy was too overwhelmed in his emotions to care that he was making a fool out of himself. He blinked hard. “I love you, Harry, but it hurts me to think that you still want Niall after all we’ve been through.”

Silence passed between them, and Louis was too upset to even worry the slightest that he had just now directly confessed his feelings for Harry.

“Well, aren’t you going to say anything?”

Still nothing.

Louis huffed an angry, pained breath, unable to contain himself now from shouting everything he felt at the other boy. “I knew it. You never wanted me. You just wanted to feel good about yourself for saving someone. Well newsflash, sitting by someone’s hospital bed for three days is nothing to cry over.”

“How can you say that?” Harry muttered softly, and Louis couldn’t stop himself from glancing at him long enough to see that Harry was on the verge of crying too. “You don’t know what it’s like, waiting and not knowing when someone’s gonna slip out of their coma. I thought-” he paused, his eyes blinking together, and his voice was shakier as he continued to speak. “I honestly thought you were going to die. Your mum, s-she tried to get me to go home, but I couldn’t leave you there all by yourself,” Harry’s voice cracked then he sniffed loudly, and though Louis couldn’t bear to look at him, he knew Harry was crying at this point. “And it doesn’t help that I’m up half the night because I can’t fucking forget that it was my fault you nearly died and I wish I could take back everything I said because it’s killing me, Lou.”

Louis replied moments later, only having listened to Harry’s last statement. “S-so you’re saying you only cared about me because you were guilty?”

There was a long break after that and Harry was breathing heavily as tears trickled down his face. “Is that really what you think?”

“It’s what I know.” Louis would regret this later, he knew that, but he wasn’t thinking straight and wasn’t doing anything to change that. “Besides, I’m better now. I don’t need any special treatment, especially from you,” he snapped, his face red and burning from the amount of hurt he had kept buried for so long. “Why don’t I just spare you the pain and get rid of myself? I’d be doing everyone a favor and the guilt will stop eating you away.”

“That’s…” Harry began, his words starting to slur together. “That’s fucked up. Why can’t you understand that nobody is to blame for anything?”

“Then why are you still here?” Louis demanded, suddenly aware that he was shouting.

Whimpers broke out through Harry’s lips, and when Louis looked at him, his hands were covering his face, obviously fighting the pain, though Louis was unsure why Harry would be suffering in any way. “I love you. I love you, okay?” He stammered, moving closer to Louis who was still staring blankly at the ground, refusing to take in anything he was hearing. Louis felt the other boy’s lips against his cheek, and the tears only continued to fall, everything too much for him. “I. Love. You,” Harry said after each time he pecked the other’s cheek. Then he pulled Louis to him, wrapping his smaller body with his. “I really do, Lou. Please, please, please don’t do anything stupid.”

That’s when Louis broke out into the long awaited sobs. He was unable to keep his thought process clear and reasonable and instead found himself pressing his face into Harry’s shoulder, his hot tears trickling down and soaking the other boy’s shirt.

“W-why are you l-lying to me?” Louis stammered, muffling into Harry’s shoulder.

“Why would I lie about this?”

Louis pulled away from Harry’s arms, staring at the green eyes that he knew he’d deceived. He sniffled, running a hand down his face, trying to get his face to look less messy, though he didn’t care in the slightest. “The same reason you lied about everything else.”

“I didn’t mean for it to go so far!” Harry exclaimed, grabbing onto both of Louis’ shoulders, the touch chilling Louis to the bone and forcing him to back away in order to keep from hysterical sobbing again. “If I knew what would happen, I would have told you the truth from the start.”

“You should’ve done that anyway!”

“I know,” Harry admitted, “and I’m truly sorry. I know that’s not something that can be easily forgive, but I’m telling you the truth now, I promise.”

Louis responded almost immediately, “Bullshit.”

“Louis, please-”

“I gave up on promises when you gave up on me,” Louis simply said, not feeling the need to elaborate when the words were already there. “And now,” he began, and literally felt his heart sinking in his chest, because it fucking pained him to even say it, but he had to, “I’m giving up on you.”

Harry nodded his head slowly, and after what seemed the longest pause of his life, he finally gave Louis his final answer. “If that makes you happy.”

A sense of déjà vu ran through Louis at those words, feeling as if they’d been said before, or he’d said or read them at some point, but he couldn’t figure it out. He shrugged, Harry’s words surging through him, destroying him down the middle, and he just knew that this, whatever they had, was over. “I’m just… tired of everything.”

Harry nodded in understanding, then without another word, took off walking in the other direction, not looking back once. Louis watched him leave, fighting the urge to run after him and apologise once and for all, but he had too much pride to resort to that, whether or not he loved Louis.

He tossed himself on the nearest bench, slumping down, blinking away tears that were developing again, reminding himself that this wasn’t a dream – a nightmare – this had happened, this was real, and that there was no going back or any way to fix this. It was eons later when he felt a warm hand cover his back, a body settling itself next to him.

Eleanor looked at him with a concerned expression. “Where’s Harry?”

Louis didn’t answer. “Take me home.”

“But what about Ha-”

“Fuck him.”

“Louis,” she said in a soothing voice. “What happened?”

“It doesn’t matter.”

Eleanor groaned, starting to get up. “I’m gonna go look for him, you stay here.”

Louis pulled on Eleanor’s shirt, forcing her to stay sitting. He demanded again, “Take me home.”

“Louis, let go.”

“Not until you promise to take me home.” He was perfectly aware of how immature not to mention selfish he sounded, but he was going to lose it if he didn’t get out of here anytime soon.

“We can’t just leave him here…”

“Fine, I’ll just walk.” Louis stood up, and despite his hasty decision, he was more than ready to get the hell out of there.

“That’ll take you hours!”

Louis stared at Eleanor stupidly, a more than irritated expression shown on his face, and he cried out, “Do I look like I give a fuck?” And then he began walking off, but Eleanor had started to run after him and was clinging onto his arm a moment later.

“Can you at least tell me what’s going on?”

“Ask Harry,” Louis responded, smirking at her, wanting desperately to tell her to fuck off, but remembering he’d also lost Zayn tonight and didn’t want to lose anyone else. “I’m sure he’s dying to tell you the story of how Louis Tomlinson made a fool of himself.”

“You told him?” Her eyes widened and when her solemn expression met Louis’ somber face, she pulled him into a warm hug. “I’m sorry.”

“Not your fault.” Louis sighed, tempted to tell her everything he was feeling at the same time only wanting to keep it to himself, at least for now.

Eleanor pulled away from the hug moments later, smiling sadly at him. “Just wait here while I find him, alright? You don’t have to talk to him, you don’t even have to look at him. Just please don’t walk home all by yourself.”

Louis huffed a deep breath, seeing the trouble she was going through to compose herself too, and decided he would stop being so selfish, starting now. “Just… hurry up.”


	14. Chapter 14

Unlike the last time, losing Harry was the least of his worries. Louis had lost everything. His car, his best friend, his possible lover, his child, and now even his house if he didn’t do something about it anytime soon.

It was funny how Eleanor was all he had left after he’d originally left her to be with Harry only to be stuck with her in the end. In the past two weeks, he’d spent plenty of time with her, pinpointing everything out and trying to get his life back in order. During that time, Louis also thought of Harry and how their fight had been purely ridiculous, all because Louis got a little jealous.

The ride home that night had been awkward as hell. Louis figured he owed it to Eleanor for wanting to keep everything in order despite the feud between the two, and he actually listened when she told him to wait. The next and last time he saw the curly-headed lad, he had calmed down, and it was clear they were both trying to avoid any kind of contact. Nobody had said anything in the car, and when Louis was dropped off at his flat, he had glanced over at Harry briefly, having one last look at him before he left the car.

He had grabbed his mail before heading inside, and when the lights turned on to reveal the number of zeros on his mortgage payment, he silently cursed at himself knowing that he wouldn’t be able to live this down unless he got some type of career sometime soon. And even if he was still up for Tai Sun, there was no way he would earn enough money to pay it off.

Louis had shuffled his way to his desk, propping himself on his sleek, leather spinny chair, mentally negotiating with himself whether or not he should consider selling his possessions. His eyes had flashed to the laptop screen when the desktop lit up, and he glanced at a familiar document that caught his attention. The title was “Green Eyes”, named after a song by the artist Joe Brooks. He had furrowed his eyebrows as he double-clicked on it, confused as to why he couldn’t recall ever writing it. And as he’d read the words out loud, it didn’t take too long for him to realise that these were just the lyrics to the song. He had questioned why he’d bothered typing them but figured he hadn’t been sober when this had occurred.

 

If only I could change but it doesn't come around

This jealousy it taints everything that I'm about

If only I could be like you but it doesn't come around

La da da da da da die,

Oh why, oh why,

Just say goodbye, step off your throne

Oh no, and it's all because, it's all because of you

Oh I, I fall because, I fall because of you

And finally, I'm free because I'm free because,

I'm free because you showed me how

To love lo-love who you truly are,

Not who you want to be

So do you think like me, do you ever fall apart?

Would your eyes turn green

If they told me I'd go far?

If only I could be like you

Cos I'm falling apart,

I can't stand to see your face

Cos you remind me who we are

 

Louis had stopped then because for the first time in his life, this song actually applied to him, and not only that, but it was seriously getting to him. It didn’t fully apply to his life back when he’d supposedly typed it, but it was like he knew that it would soon. Of course, that wasn’t the case, Louis had obviously been drunk and probably wrote this out of sheer boredom. Still, the lyrics were playing in his mind, every emotion inside him coming alive, his heart pounding with the dreadful realisation that he’d made the biggest mistake of his life by pushing Harry away.

Instead of coping it with his usual tactics which consisted of drowning himself in alcohol and over-thinking, he had pushed his chair back, standing up and stretching his arms. He shut his laptop, and his eyes wavered over to a wrinkled sheet of paper on his desk. All it had taken was one glance to realise that was the letter he never sent. Louis had ignored the sinking his chest as he ripped it to shreds, tossing it into the trash where it belonged.

Louis was still upset even now, there was no doubt about that. The thing was he wasn’t exactly upset because of anything Harry did, but everything he did. He’d treated most likely the love of his life the same way he’d treated everyone else, by breaking all ties with him completely, shoving him out for good. Believe it or not, he even blamed himself for everything that went down with Zayn. Because, hell, maybe Zayn had been honest with him and Louis had overlooked it and lost his best friend as a result.

This was all his fault. But was he going to anything about it? Nope.

There was still no sign of Harry. He wanted more than anything for Harry to ignore everything he’d said and just speak to him already, because Louis sure as hell wasn’t going to. After everything that had happened, he learned to stop getting his hopes up because in the end they’d only be shot down to nothing. Even with that realisation, he’d lie awake half the night waiting for a text or something to assure himself that everything was okay only to be disappointed in the morning with an empty inbox.

Zayn, on the other hand, had been texting him relentlessly, apologising over and over again as if doing so would make any difference. If it weren’t for Louis’ desperation to hear from Harry, he would have turned off his phone and it wasn’t too long later that he finally made the effort to shut everyone out.

At the brink of the third week was when Louis decided he needed to get his life back into gear. And Eleanor was willing to help him out with that. She had suggested going to university, and Louis actually listened to everything she had to say remembering how he’d gotten a full-ride scholarship to the University of London due to his exceptional grades in high school, but he never had the opportunity because of Danny. She went on and explained the benefits of going to college, which included getting a satisfying career. It was still early in the year, early enough to apply for the spring semester. Unfortunately, Louis didn’t have enough money saved to attend the university, and after some reasonable negotiating, he had applied to the community college, until he realised how badly he wanted to get out of Doncaster.

With that in mind, Louis convinced himself that it would be worth what he was paying if the University of London really offered him what he wanted. And when he’d received his acceptance letter about a month later, butterflies fluttered in his stomach, excited at the thought of finally getting somewhere in his life at the same time worrying about what he was leaving behind. His mistakes, his past... Everything and everyone that he once knew and loved.

And in spite of everything, he was fine with that.

~

If the idea of waking up was enough to cause remorse, Harry was lying in his death bed.

He hadn’t a shed a tear since that night, and he wasn’t planning to. Though Harry wore his heart on his sleeve, he tended to keep things bottled up until time ticked away and he went off like a bomb. He felt rather numb every time Louis’ words flashed in his mind, the inevitable sinking of his heart as every word crashed down on him. Harry wasn’t one to dwell, and usually a night at the bar jogged his memory and his problems were soon forgotten. But he wasn’t getting out off easy this time. How could he? Louis had given up on him, and Harry still hadn’t a clue what he did to have Louis arrive at that decision.

The fact that Louis thought Harry only cared because he’d been the cause of his hospital visit hurt Harry more than anything. To think that despite everything he’d done for the younger boy, the simple gestures and affections, Harry had let Louis to truly believe he didn’t care about him at all. And that cut him deep, just knowing that Louis would never understand how deeply Harry loved and cared for him.

He couldn’t hide his fragile state of mind for long, obviously. Once you stop expressing emotions and treating everything as if there was nothing good to look forward in life, one can only hope someone will notice. And it was his worried-out-of-her-mind mother who got to the bottom of it eventually. She sat him down, asking him calmly what was wrong, as if speaking any louder would break Harry. And Harry spilled everything, leaving no details out. He’d kept everything locked away for so long that he hadn’t realised how much he had longed to tell someone.

Even though Harry had mentioned how Louis wanted him out of his life, his mum had still insisted that he at least tried speaking to Louis. But Harry wouldn’t do that, remembering the letter and how Louis only wanted to make Harry happy, and Harry wanted to do the same. And if he didn’t keep that promise now, it would only be added to the list of the other promises he’d supposedly broken. Now that he thought about it, he didn’t recall ever making any promises to Louis, but maybe he had misinterpreted something, or simply said that out of anger to worsen the situation. And that only implicated that Louis really did want Harry out of his life. 

The next time he spoke to Niall was a month later after he’d sent him a text, asking if they would hang out. Though Harry had nobody now, it wasn’t like he was referring to Niall as the second option because it wasn’t like that. He just needed a friend at a time like this and talking to his former lover might help complicate matters less. Thankfully, Niall agreed right away that they needed to sort things out if they still wanted to keep their friendship. Harry went ahead and apologised for leaving him for Louis, also explaining how he wasn’t running back to him now that Louis was gone.

Niall told him how he’d moved on completely now, and insisted what he had with Zayn was special. And Harry had to admit, they did make a cute couple. Niall was even kind enough to explain how they’d met – through Eleanor. Harry was shocked that she never thought to tell neither he nor Louis, but supposed it was best if Zayn and Niall told them themselves since it was their business.

It was another week later when Harry woke up that morning with the decision to finally speak to Louis. He had his words prepared, ready to explain himself and prove his love and everything, but after standing outside Louis’ flat in the cold for nearly an hour, his confidence become nonexistent. Confused and angry, he tried dialing the boy’s number only to find that the number was no longer in service. He returned home, wrapping himself in a warm blanket, watching reruns while he scolded himself for even bothering.

He cried for the first time that night, screaming at himself for never being good enough, for being such a fuck up, for ruining everything like he always did. Harry was even half convinced he deserved to suffer on Louis’ behalf. He spent hours sobbing hysterically in his room, perfectly aware that this was absolutely childish for a twenty-two year old man, which only made him feel worse. His hands caught onto the grey beanie lying on his nightstand. He brought it to his nose, taking in the all-too-familiar scent of Louis and immediately flung it across the room, wanting desperately to forget about everything and move on. But he couldn’t. He wouldn’t.

In retrospect, he went out that night and fucked God knows how many boys and returned home feeling no different than before.

A few days later, he received a call from Liam simply asking how he was. When he responded with a shaky but somewhat assuring “fine”, Liam had taken it to his interest to invite him over since they hadn’t hung out in forever. And with the loneliness boring Harry with his pathetic and miserable life, he was more than eager to make plans.

After three hours of tiresome driving, Harry was resting on Liam’s sofa with the biggest headache. Liam gave him aspirin, and Harry could only think of Louis and how he finally understood how easy it would be to kill himself. It would be painless, almost a bittersweet way to die. But Liam was looking at him with concern as he swallowed the pill dry, and soon the thoughts passed.

Harry couldn’t hide his problems forever, especially not from his best friend – who had become more a friend now-, and shortly after his arrival, Harry found himself telling Liam everything, receiving a few nods and yeah’s in response. But it wasn’t until he mentioned Louis that Liam’s head shot up with curiosity.

“Louis? The name rings a bell…”

“You know him?” Harry wondered how Liam could possibly know Louis when he’d never mentioned him or anything. Perhaps it was just another kid with the same name. However, Harry did not expect what he heard next.

“Yeah, he’s the new kid.”

Harry frowned in confusion, an uneasy feeling growing in his stomach as he took his friend’s words into consideration. Louis wasn’t at his flat and hadn’t answered his phone…

Liam seemed to sense the uneasiness radiating from the other boy as he moved himself closer to Harry, watching him as if waiting for something to happen.

Harry blinked, “Louis Tomlinson?”

He had to inhale and exhale slowly to keep from hyperventilating after Liam nodded his head, confirming that Louis had moved to London to attend Uni. Harry had no problem with that. He hadn’t expected Louis to carry on like this forever, but at the same time he was absolutely devastated knowing Louis had moved on while he’d been stuck in this fucking rut for three months now.

And with that aching realisation, he sucked in a ball of air to calm his increasing heartbeat, and keeping a calm stance, he politely asked Liam for a bottle of beer.

 

January

 

All his life, Louis wanted to be a drama teacher. And one month later, Louis was finally pursuing his dreams at the University of London.

Louis had sold his flat which gave him some major cash, unfortunately not lasting him very long. After paying for the tuition and the other prerequisites for college, he didn’t seem to have a lot left, but he had definitely been better off than before. He admitted he missed having his own place, but at the same time was relieved to be surrounded by people to take away from his the insecurities and loneliness he still felt from time to time.

He shared a dormitory with his roommate Andy Samuels who was actually a pretty decent guy. They didn’t get along much at first, but other than a little bit of tension here and there, it wasn’t too long after the boys started to became good friends. 

Louis found he preferred the city life, the constant sounds of the commotion in the streets day and night, and even the smells of the city were enough to invoke his attention. It was a cheerier atmosphere in comparison to where he’d lived his entire life, and despite how content Louis was with his life, there was still the feeling that there was something missing.

Sean Cullen was quick to fill that position. Louis had been confident enough with his sexuality to flirt around every now and then and when girls tried to get with him, he was comfortable enough to tell them the truth. It wasn’t like he was flaunting himself so to say, but he wasn’t ashamed of it either.

Louis participated in plenty of activities and attended parties, and when an attractive boy with beautiful dirty blonde hair that fell over the side of his face asked for a dance at one social event, Louis knew Sean was perfect for him. Maybe it was his charismatic personality and sense of humour that caught Louis’ attention, or the hazel eyes which were his prominent features, not to mention he was fit.

Sean helped him forget about Harry. In fact, having only spent two weeks with the guy, Louis found himself laughing at what he and Harry were. It had only been a summer romance and he was foolish to ever think there was anything more. At least that was what he always told himself every time he and Sean kissed.

Louis never planned on telling his boyfriend about Harry, wanting to leave it in the past where it belonged. But one night after playfully wrestling each other in Sean’s dorm, they were going through Louis’ phone and laughing at the silly pictures they’d taken together. He’d stood up to grab a beer when Sean called him back, saying, “You look really happy in this one. Who’s that?”

When the familiar picture came into view, Louis and Harry sitting in their cart on the Ferris wheel, smiling with Louis’ head resting on the other boy’s shoulder, Louis’ heart leaped in his chest wondering why he hadn’t deleted the picture, and he was reminded of everything he couldn’t seem to leave behind.

“Oh, uh,” Louis found himself laughing without humour. “That’s Harry.”

“He’s cute.”

Louis shrugged, a faint blush spread across his cheeks which couldn’t exactly identify what he was feeling. So he smiled and pressed his lips to Sean’s, reminding himself that he only mattered now. “Yeah, well. You’re cuter.”

A few nights later they returned from another party to find themselves wrapped in each other on Louis’ bed, clothes casually slipping away, hands everywhere. Louis and Sean had only gone as far as they could without having sex, and Sean seemed determined to change that tonight. He was flipping Louis to lie on his stomach but Louis rolled back onto his back, an unusual sense of confusion shooting through him, and for some bizarre reason Harry had come to mind.

“Are you alright?” Sean asked, running his fingers under the other boy’s neck.

“Yeah,” Louis assured him, forcing himself to lose himself in the hazel eyes, for some reason not finding them as alluring as usual. “It’s just… it’s late. Andy will be back soon. We can do this some other time, yeah?”

And once Sean had left him alone with his thoughts, he found himself questioning why he had said no to that, but figured he simply wasn’t ready to lose his virginity yet. Well, anally, that is.

Louis spent that weekend in his dorm, watching reruns and studying for his midterms but in all honesty, he was mostly sitting there, thinking to himself. He wondered if it had been a good idea to come here and leave everything behind. Despite how much he hated to say it, he missed hanging out with Zayn. It wasn’t to say that Andy wasn’t a fun guy, but everything had been easier with Zayn. Louis missed being able to be himself.

He snapped himself out of the scornful thoughts, reminding himself not to dwell on the past for that would only bring him misery. Agreeing to that, he went to the lounge to get a cup of coffee and returned to sit on his bed in the dark, wrapping himself into a blanket. Louis lost himself in pure comfort, satisfied with simply sitting here alone with nobody to bother him.

Everything was quiet, relaxed, and tranquil that Louis literally jumped when the door flung open. He didn’t take his eyes off the telly, knowing it was only Andy probably returning from his date.

“Oi, Andy! How was it? Did you knock her up?” Louis chuckled at his slight remark, turning his head to glance briefly at the shadow standing behind the door.

"Louis."

The figure emerged from the darkness, but the voice was all too familiar and caused Louis to shake. His eyes flickered when the lights turned on, and it took a moment to adjust before he laid his eyes upon the other lad. Harry hadn't changed much in the past few months, his face just as he'd remembered it, beautiful and above all, radiated sadness instead of the usual joyful expression. His green eyes had darkened, bags underneath his eyes, showing just how tired he was. His tousled hair was messy as usual, in fact messier in a way that showed Harry wasn't caring to fix it. But it was lovely, nonetheless.

Louis blinked, his eyes starting to get teary from staring. He threw the blanket away from his body, revealing a blue t-shirt with black boxers. "What are you doing here?"

Harry's eyes were now filling with tears and he was biting his lip to keep from sobbing. “I needed to see you.”

His hand constantly flew to his face, wiping the escaping tears, his cheeks moist and red. And Louis couldn't resist getting up to stand by him and comfort him. He wanted so badly to pat him on the back, hold him in his arms and tell him that everything would be okay and to stop crying because it made him want to cry as well. But he knew Harry didn't want anything Louis had to offer.

Louis’ heart stuttered and he let out a deep, exhilarated breath. “Harry.”

Then Harry threw his head onto Louis' shoulder, his arm hitting the other boy's, and Louis did a double take realising that Harry did want comfort. And with that thought, he drew circles on Harry's back, holding him in his arms for a matter of minutes until the other boy pulled away.

“I can’t stand living without you. It hurts too much.”

Louis didn’t even pretend that didn’t hit a nerve. He didn’t say anything, keeping his focus on the boy standing before him, afraid that this was just a dream, that he would wake up and Harry would be gone.

Harry's face drew in closer, his face still red from crying, but the tears no longer there. His eyes had softened and Louis' attention had gone to his lips, which were still as plump and pink as he'd remembered them, except they looked less soft and it became obvious that Harry had been biting them. But Louis didn't care. He was so close now. So close to doing what he'd wanted to do in months. Harry's face was inching towards his, his hand grasping Louis' tightly as if he was nervous. Louis closed his eyes for a brief second, and a little voice in his head urged him to go for it.

He didn’t realise it, but his breathing had gone narrow, and he was trying desperately not to breathe into Harry’s face. He had little time to think though because suddenly it wasn’t up to Louis now.

Louis felt a pair of lips brush his, and though it wasn’t as far as he’d imagined it, he couldn’t keep himself from deepening the kiss, pressing his lips into Harry’s, longing to just feel him. Harry’s breathing had grown ragged and perhaps the kiss was too intense for his liking, but Louis had no problem with tilting his head in different angles now, his lips aligned perfectly with the other boy’s, as if made to fit around each other. He slowly made his way into Harry’s mouth, welcoming the other’s tongue to circle inside his mouth, licking and kissing him until he tasted purely Harry and Louis was coming alive with every touch.

“I’m sorry, Louis,” Harry said between gasps of breath. “For everything.”

Up until then, Louis hadn’t a clue how desperate he was for Harry, and he was clearly unaware of the fact that he’d been burying his feelings away, simply wanting to forget about him. And now Louis couldn’t find it in himself to stay under control now and frankly, he didn’t care. Harry would probably leave after this, scared off by Louis’ desires, and Louis wanted to take advantage of every moment they had. His hands traced around Harry’s collarbone, his fingertips brushing against his neck, throwing his lips into the crook and he continued to peck Harry repeatedly down to the collar of his shirt, and he noticed the problem immediately.

Both boys were now kissing much more passionately, both filled with lust and determination, continuing to smack their lips together as they feet shuffled their way to the bed. Louis pushed Harry against the edge of the bed, pressing his body against his roughly, an identifiable moan escaping the other boy’s lips as their hips collided, and Louis’ hand were wandering from Harry’s waist, slowly making its way to his arse, the soft touch causing Harry to flinch but grind his body further with Louis’.

Harry then pulled away, throwing his shirt over his head, proceeding to take off Louis’, tossing it onto the ground. Parted lips crashed together again and Harry was dominating this time, his lips and tongue rocking rhythmically with the bucking of their hips as their bodies fell onto the bed, lying over each other. Louis’ pants seemed to be getting undeniably tight as their bodies grinded and Harry kissed down the younger boy’s body, his tongue traveling down from his neck down to his nipple, nipping it gently which elicited a loud moan from Louis as he continued to move down his body. His hands reached the waistband of Louis’ underwear and if he wasn’t already turned on before, he could feel himself throbbing as Harry’s hands swept down, the elastic tightening on his arse, a slight brush against him.

“Harry,” Louis croaked. “Take them off.”

The older boy tugged on Louis’ boxers, slowly pulling them down, revealing his erection, dark and flushed and dripping with pre-cum. After Harry had taken off his own bottoms, and his was standing up, obviously just as turned on as the other boy, Louis was at a loss for words, simply seeing every single part of Harry’s body that made Harry, well, Harry… it was all too much and Louis wasn’t sure he could take it.

“You’re so beautiful.”

Harry was blushing, Louis was sure of that. And he was satisfied that he was able to make Harry’s cheeks turn red so easily, but not as satisfied as he felt when their bodies pressed together, their cocks brushing against each other, and suddenly the words ‘too close’ didn’t exist.

Louis rolled their bodies over, now on top of the other boy, and their lips had found each other, rubbing together eagerly, until Louis’ lips left Harry’s mouth, tracing down his neck and collarbone and down to his chest, licking his nipples slowly, causing Harry to moan, amusement stirring inside Louis. He went further down, stopping when he reached the stride, letting his tongue waver over Harry’s length. He wasn’t sure exactly what to do, having literally no experience, and he feared that Harry would laugh at him, or worse, be displeased at Louis’ attempt to seduce him. Of course, he’d given Sean a few blowjobs here and there, but he never worried about his performance.

He left those thoughts behind and threw his hands on opposite sides of Harry for support, and then he went for it, moving his tongue along the tip, and moans erupted out of Harry instantly, and Louis went harder, if that was even possible at this point. Bored of licking, he finally moved his mouth over Harry, going down as far as he could. He used his hand for what he couldn’t fit, and strategically bobbed his head back and forth. Looking up, Harry’s head was thrown back and his breathing was ragged, his fingers tangled in Louis’ feathered hair, pulling on them gently in sync with Louis’ movements, obviously overwhelmed by the boy sucking him off.

Harry sat up on the bed, pushing Louis off of him, immediately proceeding to pin the younger boy against the bed, throwing his body over him. Harry kissed down his body, moans stirring out of Louis as the sensations overcame him. Harry reached his shaft, carefully tracing over the tip, and Louis touched Harry’s scalp, enjoying the feeling of Harry’s tousled curls between his fingers. He yanked on them when Harry went down on him, managing to fit most of him. Louis’ eyes widened, surprised that Harry didn’t seem to have a gag reflex. Sounds erupted out of Louis, which in fact could not be classified as human, he could literally feel himself sinking into the sheets.

There was a tug and all too familiar sensation in his lower waist, knowing what was expected to happen. Not wanting this to come and have this end so soon, he ignored his hormones and pressed his hands against Harry’s shoulders, pulling his body off of his, wanting them to try something else now. Louis smiled sheepishly, and Harry returned his smile, seeming to understand Louis’ reason for wanting him to stop.

Harry spread his body over the bed, rolling off the side to grab something from the floor. His body flew back up with a condom in hand, and he was smirking at Louis.

“I always come prepared.” With one hand he tossed the wrapper onto the ground, holding out the rubber in the other.

Louis bit down his lip, gulping nervously. He’d never gone all the way before, and it wasn’t that he wanted to or that he wasn’t ready, but because he had no idea what to do. From years of watching porn (he had spent time exploring his sexuality, of course), he knew submissive was always the easiest, but he knew it was the most painful. Topping would hurt less, but Louis just didn’t see himself dominating, especially not Harry.

“Well what are you waiting for?” Harry whispered in his ear, his hand tracing down Louis’ sides, and everywhere he touched felt like fire. “Put it on.”

“You do it,” Louis’ eyes went down, watching as Harry sat himself down on the bed, feeling as the condom slowly enclosed around him, and Harry gave his leg a small slap, whether it was an act of encouragement or simple teasing. Then he turned around, lying face down on his stomach with his bottom hanging out, and the view nearly made Louis lose his train of thought. 

“No, turn back around,” Louis ordered, shaking his head. Harry flipped himself onto his back, his legs in the air and spread open, his green orbs darkened and filled with determination. Louis took Harry’s hands and pressed them to the bed, pinning them down, a gentle reminder of their tickle fight that had taken place weeks before. “I need to see you.”

He gulped again, spreading the lube onto his fingers. Louis parted the other boy’s cheeks, slowly slipping a finger inside, feeling Harry flinch beneath his fingers. He had arched his hips, yearning for more friction. Harry wasn’t as tight as he’d expected, but perhaps that was due to his experience. Louis couldn’t help the jealousy that overthrew, but helped him as he pushed in and out, curling his fingers until he was soon scissoring Harry as he felt the velvety smoothness inside. He slipped another finger in, repeating the same action until Harry’s breath grew hitched and narrow.

“Fuck me.”

Louis nearly gasped at the boldness, and it chilled him to the bone, warmth spreading throughout his body as he moved himself closer to Harry, pushing his knees down into the mattress to give himself access. He teased him for a bit, rolling his length over Harry’s cheek, until he was whimpering and begging for it.

Arching his hips, he slowly pressed himself into the other boy, and Harry groaned as Louis’ tip pressed in, gradually making his way inside. He gasped, starting to pull out, unable to get it all the way out, and he pushed himself back in right away, trying to be careful though the tightness tempted him to go faster. The sensations that came over him were unexplainable and he only hoped Harry was enjoying this as well.

Louis let his body drop onto Harry, their chests touching as Louis tried to get as deep as he could.

“Tell me what to do,” Louis demanded, whispering in Harry’s ear when he was all the way in. He kissed down Harry’s jaw, one hand stroking Harry’s stomach as he continued to slowly thrust himself into the boy rhythmically.

“Faster.”

Louis obeyed, bucking his hips and pressing in and out of the other boy in a more rapid motion, his back arching as he reached a good pace.

“Firmer,” Harry begged after the loudest gasp.

Taking the deepest breath, Louis dragged himself completely out, and slammed into the other boy without any hesitation, Harry’s whimpers filling the room as Louis collided with his prostate, and their hormones had taken over completely that he couldn’t be bothered to care about anything else. His hand crashed onto Harry’s cock, flickering his wrist, finding it hard to do both tasks at once. Harry’s head threw back and he was panting in a way Louis had never witnessed before, and seconds later, Harry finally came onto Louis’ chest.

Louis pulled out, sitting himself against the bed frame, as Harry’s still eager but blissed out body made its way over to him, his head wrapping around him instantly, and he was absolutely positive that he could delay finishing for a little bit, until he saw those darkened, emerald orbs piercing deep into his soul. Louis’ moans were quicker and broader and as his hands pulled on those perfect curls, he found himself shouting Harry’s name until he spilled everything he had onto him.

Their sweaty bodies rolled over on the bed, and Harry’s damp hair was trickling onto Louis’ chest as they both lay there, breathless and panting. Louis was in the process of catching his breath, his heart still racing a hundred beats per second.

“God, that was perfect,” he blurted out shakily. “You were perfect, I-” Louis stopped, the memories flashing into his mind, reminding himself of everything he’d been trying so desperately to forget, and suddenly he found himself flipping to his side with remorse. 

He heard Harry sigh and felt arms wrap around his waist. “I missed you.”

“I missed you too,” Louis answered with full honesty, forgetting that this wasn’t supposed to happen, that they weren’t supposed to be talking, let alone sharing this level of intimacy. But it had been so long since he’d been in Harry’s arms that he couldn’t exactly bring himself to care. “How did you find me?”

“We have a mutual friend,” was all Harry said. “Why didn’t you tell me you were moving?”

“It was none of your business. And I figured you wouldn’t care.”

“Well I’m here now, aren’t I?” Louis felt the other boy bury his head in his neck, the hot breath hitting him and making it difficult to breathe. “I didn’t kiss him by the way.” Louis’ eyes perked up and he was about to protest when Harry continued, “He still loves me, Lou.”

Louis turned away sharply. “Then why aren’t you in his bed?”

“When he kissed me, it was his way of saying goodbye. I mean, we’re still friends and all but well you get it, don’t you? He’s moved on, Lou. We both have.”

“And so have I,” Louis said weakly, knowing that wasn’t true.

Harry laughed unexpectedly. “Yeah, I really got that when you were screaming my name as you came all over me.”

It literally pained Louis to respond to that because it was quite obvious Louis had enjoyed that more than he should have. “Maybe I just needed to get it out of my system.”

“Why are you making this so complicated?” Harry shouted after sitting up, looking down at the other boy. “I said I was sorry, I even came all this way to see you. What more can I possibly do?”

Louis sighed, wishing Harry hadn’t even shown up. It would have been a lot easier going on with his life without knowing how it felt to be loved. There was no doubt Harry loved him, he’d proved that, but his doubts still remained. “I’m not mad anymore, I’m over that. I forgive you, Harry, if that’s why you’re here.”

“That’s not it,” Harry said in disagreement, and paused momentarily. “I want you to know that I wasn’t lying when I said I love you.”

It took Louis everything to deny how much Harry’s words were affecting him, and guilt was seeping through him when he remembered Sean. He breathed a heavy sigh, and sat up to face the older boy. “Look Harry, that’s in the past now. Like I said, I moved on and you should too.”

“No,” Harry shot back. “Not if that means losing you.”

Louis didn’t respond to that; he didn’t how to. Instead, he stood up, picking up his pants from the ground. “You should probably go. Andy should be back any minute now.”

Harry started to get up, looking Louis dead in the eyes before doing so. “By the way, in case you didn’t know by now, I read your letter and wrote something on the back. None that it really matters.”

When the door slammed shut and Louis’ body was piled against the wall, Harry’s words finally took a blow and Louis remembered tearing up the letter. He mentally cursed at himself, wishing he could have at least checked the back before letting his temper get the best of him. But of course, that wouldn’t change anything.

He slipped his shirt back on and underneath it found the small blue tube of lube. Louis knew Sean would kill him if he saw it unless he came up with an excuse, and knowing he had a legitimate reason to run after Harry, he darted for the door, making a dash down the stairs. Louis caught Harry standing to the side of the building, lighting a cigarette. He was surprised. He hadn’t expected Harry to start smoking.

Louis caught his breath, and handed the tube to him. “You left this behind.”

“Thanks.” Harry took it and immediately began heading off.

“Wait, Harry!”

The elder boy shifted his body around, pulling the blunt out of his mouth. “What, Lou? Why can’t you just make up your mind?” He tossed it onto the ground, smashing his feet over it. “If you wanted me to leave so badly, you would’ve let me done so by now so please Louis, please just tell me what you want me to do and I’ll do it.”

Louis barely had time to think, in fact he hadn’t bothered thinking it through when he smashed their lips together, clinging onto Harry as if holding on for dear life. Louis gulped hard as he nuzzled his head into the crane of Harry’s neck and murmured against his soft skin, “I want you to stay.”


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Louis and Eleanor gave their baby up for adoption, they never expected the new parents to be two males. They also didn’t expect Louis to fall in love with one of them.

Harry’s view was cascaded by soft feathery threads of hair and a warm feeling surged through him when his body jolted awake and it suddenly hit him. A smile spread throughout his face when he caught the sleeping boy beside him, his face paler than the usual tanned tone, his eyes closed, the sounds of steady breathing filling Harry’s ears. And that was all Harry needed to reassure himself that he hadn’t dream it; he was really here with Louis, and there was no way around that despite how it was almost too good to be true.

He began to squirm around in the unfamiliar bed, careful not to wake Louis, not wanting to break this beautiful silence they shared. Harry found himself tangling his fingers in the caramel-coloured locks but moved when Louis’ body flinched slightly, and he rolled over to face Harry. His lips crept into a smile as if he knew Harry was watching him sleep, while Harry went over the previous night again in his mind.

To say the least, he was almost surprised that Louis hadn’t asked him to leave, or left himself. The way their bodies had molded together after spending the entire night alternating between the deepest of conversations and fucking each other’s brains out, made Harry wonder why Louis had let him stay when he had been so sure that he would’ve been kicked out the moment he’d showed up. However, that obviously wasn’t the case considering how Harry hadn’t even forced himself onto the other boy when they’d first locked eyes, the smell of desperation hanging in the air when their lips made contact. Harry could only imagine what had gone through Louis’ mind at that moment; he had to have been as confused as Harry, unsure of whether the other was still interested.

In all the times Harry and Niall had had sex, it had been nothing compared to what he’d shared with Louis. With Niall it had been simply a flight of lust and what had been Harry’s definition for love at the time. What he and Louis shared went beyond that, something Harry couldn’t even define or put into words because it was all so beyond his comprehension that he had begun to question whether he was simply taking this too far and letting his romantic side get the best of him. But when Louis had first entered him, going slowly and taking his time despite the fact that Harry could have handled the pressure, it showed that Louis truly cared for the boy and wouldn’t let anything get in the way of that, or so that’s what Harry interpreted from his actions.

His body shuddered slightly, images flashing into his mind and he’d peeked underneath the covers to see the indication of arousal, whether that had been from reminiscing last night or just morning wood. Noticing that Louis had rolled back to face the wall, he shifted his body and began to get himself off, trying to stay quiet and considerate as to not wake Louis.

A sigh escaped Harry when he remembered the way Louis had held onto him when he went down on him, his fingers tracing down his body, sending thrills and chills throughout Harry. And it was about the third of fourth time they had gotten each other off that Harry recalled Louis chanting his name repeatedly, followed by murmuring, “I love you” when he climaxed. The fact that their bodies had curdled with beams of sweat – and other bodily fluids –, meant nothing to them because even after they’d grown tired of making love again and again, the passion between the two boys had remained as they fell into each other’s arms, rekindling the love they felt towards each other as they fell asleep with the knowledge that maybe everything would turn out alright after all. And that let alone was enough to leave Harry in pants, as his fingers worked his length, and a sigh of contentment left his lips as he spilled onto himself.

He slumped back into the duvet, wrapping himself around Louis who had turned back around, Harry’s eyes finally meeting bright blue orbs and the brightest smile he’d ever caught Louis wear.

“Why didn’t you tell me you had a case of morning wood, eh? I would’ve taken care of that,” Louis said with a wink and Harry shot him a wicked smile as his hands wrapped around Louis’ already throbbing cock.

“Looks like you’re the one in need of care,” Harry pointed out with a smirk as Louis’ mouth opened with a gasp and his head rocked back, and Harry was a bit surprised that Louis was this turned on this early in the morning. “You hot for me, Lou?”

Louis let out a gasp of exhilaration, his left hand stroking Harry up and down the arm which was an implication that he was most definitely pleased. “Harry – your mouth. Put it, put it there – please.”

Harry felt this strange need to obey, whether it was to simply please the other boy or because he felt he absolutely needed to, and slid his body down the sheets until his mouth made contact with Louis and moans stirred out of him as Harry worked his length. It was only a few minutes later that Louis yanked onto his curls and spilled everything he had into Harry, panting breathlessly as Harry rolled to the nightstand to grab some Kleenex’s. He’d barely slipped himself into the covers when Louis’ hands wrapped around his waist, pulling him into his arms, the warmth of both of their bodies making Harry’s face flush incredibly, feeling so alive and loved in a way he never thought was possible.

“Fuck, Harry. You give great head.”

Harry chuckled, engulfing his head into the crane of Louis’ neck. “Years of practice.”

“I’m so tired,” Louis droned rolling himself to lay on his back. “How long did we sleep? Two hours?”

“Probably less.”

Louis grinned at him excitedly. “It was worth it.” He rolled his body off the side of the bed, yawning and stretching his limbs, immediately dropping onto the bed with a mouthful of complaints.

“Oh yeah. Just a heads up, you’ll be sore for a few days,” Harry warned him, smirking widely.

“And who do I get the honor of blaming for that? Oh, right. You.”

Harry shrugged, squirming around in the bed, trying to get comfortable. “You asked for it, remember? ‘Fuck me, Harry! Fuck me so hard!’”

A light blush spread across Louis’ cheeks and he had begun chuckling to hide the embarrassment. “Fuck you, Harry.”

“You already did.”

Louis’ eyebrows wagged, probably impressed with the quirkiness of his comeback, and he was still staring at the other boy with amusement that when the door flew open, he jumped into the covers with him.

He heard a groan followed by an unfamiliar voice. “Aw, not you two.”

Harry was the first to prop his head out of the duvet, staring blankly at a stranger with dirty blonde hair – so dirty it was almost brown – that crowned over his head, about the same length as Harry’s. Considering he’d barged in so unexpectedly, Harry could only guess that this was Louis’ roommate.

The second Louis flew out of the covers, Andy was staring at them with a gaping mouth but the strange expression didn’t last long and soon he was smirking at them. He walked over to his side of the room, stripping his shirt off and peering back at them. “Don’t worry, I won’t tell him.”

“What?” Harry frowned in confusion. “Tell who what?”

“I sort of have a boyfriend…” Louis muttered sounding a bit upset himself and Harry’s confusion expression changed into a look of disappointment as he dropped his body back onto the bed.

“Oh.”

That just didn’t add up. Why the fuck would Louis have said and done all those things to Harry if he was taken? The thought angered and disgusted Harry and he wanted to disappear right then, get away from all the confusion.

“Except there’s a problem with that.” His eyes alternated from his roommate and back at Harry, apparently wanting them both to hear what he had to say. “You see, I found someone else.” He smiled and nudged Harry in the elbow.

“Who?” Harry began to say but then Louis shot him a dumb look and he understood right away. “Oh.” He couldn’t deny the widened grin on his face just then as he sighed in relief, and it didn’t help that Louis pecked him on his mouth quickly as he got out of bed. “Where are you going?”

“You weren’t planning on sleeping all day, were you?” Louis chuckled, slipping on his dark skinny jeans. “I thought we could do a little sight-seeing; show you around.”

“Is that a date?”

“You could call it that,” Louis said with a warm smile.

Harry couldn’t stop the fluttering that had started in his chest, completely enthralled by the idea of their first official date, if that movie date months ago didn’t count. Considering how that had turned out, Harry was positive this was their first date, though neither of them had actually made whatever they had official. It was obvious that there something going on now, there was no doubt about that. And yet, Harry still yearned for some kind of title.

“Hope you used a condom, mate,” he heard Louis say, figuring he was talking to Andy.

His roommate rolled his eyes, running a hand through his hair. “I’m not stupid enough to get someone pregnant.”

Though Louis was laughing it off, even Harry could sense the tension radiating from his words and he knew this had hurt Louis deeply because the way Andy had said it made it sound as if Louis was the biggest idiot for getting Eleanor pregnant. Which wasn’t the case at all.

But neither of them said anything about that. Instead, Harry found himself sitting at the edge of the bed, asking almost shyly, “Do you think you could… give me something to wear?”

“Of course you can wear my clothes!” Louis exclaimed, throwing his closet doors open as he stood to the side, gesturing for Harry to pick something out. “Anything but stripes.”

~

Louis sat himself down on the bench next to Harry, who, over the past few hours, had grown tired of walking and wanted to relax for a bit. He smiled, knowing the other boy wasn’t used to being in the city, having to use public transportation and all. It had been a long, but fulfilled day, and Louis had enjoyed every minute of it. And he knew Harry had enjoyed it as well.

It was risky, Louis knew, to be showering together on campus. It wasn’t like Louis was planning on inviting the other boy to join him in the shower, but after Louis had given him a warm hug and had told him he would return after he cleansed himself, throwing a wink in there for good measure, Harry had somehow slipped into the showers with him. He’d first announced his arrival, how he would shower with him, but Louis had first assumed Harry was going to shower alongside him, in the shower beside him, but it was to his surprise that Harry had stepped inside, his hands covering Louis’ stomach as he wrapped the rest of his body over his back.

It was the best shower of his life, Louis couldn’t deny that. Not only had they shared the most passionate snog and taken the biggest risk of their lives when Harry had pushed Louis into the wall, immediately pressing himself into him. Louis had swallowed his moans the best he could, cautious and paranoid that somebody would overhear them, but couldn’t resist making the inhuman shouts when they both climaxed. They had spent the next twenty minutes cleaning each other up in the lukewarm water, and Louis could recall every detail of rubbing the soap up and around the other boy’s back, pressing a kiss to the side of his neck as they switched roles.

The way Harry’s emerald orbs had lit up when they’d begun walking the streets, every sight coming as a wonder to him, made Louis’ cheeks rise with amusement that he was strolling through the city with Harry, something he had never seen coming. They had been walking for a while with no destination in mind, and despite how comfortable they’d felt towards each other last night, Louis felt a bit awkward with the small space between the two. He was waiting until the perfect moment to make a move, which was once his heart had stopped thudding irregularly and his mind had stopped overanalysing every little detail to the point where he was growing exhausted of listening to his own insecurities. He’d slowly moved his body closer, close enough to slip his fingers between Harry’s. Harry’s head turned to face him, smiling sheepishly, tightening his grip on the other boy approvingly.

“This is my favorite café,” Louis had informed him, pulling him along after they crossed the street, leading him into a small red building, which had the TARDIS effect, disguised bigger on the inside than the outside. Without looking at the menu, he ordered them two hot chocolates and when Harry had questioned his hasty decision-making, he explained how they had the best hot chocolate in London, or at least that was his opinion. And then Louis went on and complained to Harry when he came to the conclusion he was turning into Eleanor with his coffee obsession. “At least it’s not mainstream,” Louis had pointed out, and they both laughed when Harry had labeled Louis as a hipster.

Louis had watched with anticipation when Harry took his first sip, a look of amazement shown on his face and he nodded agreeably that this was some pretty decent hot chocolate. They made small talk, discussing overpriced food and how London was the epicenter. Then the conversation went dead, and they were simply staring at each other as they finished their drinks. It hadn’t snowed that day, and yet Harry’s curls seemed to be sticking together as if they had become frozen. Perhaps they should’ve blow-dried their hair before departing, obviously the freezing temperatures were going to do some damage. But even now, Louis found Harry’s frozen curls absolutely striking and couldn’t bring himself to care.

Their silence mused into a more serious conversation, and they were suddenly discussing their childhood, how their lives had been back in high school. Louis learned that Harry was quite shy, despite how outgoing he was now, and that he didn’t have many friends. He’d never been bullied or anything of that sort, but he’d had problems with insecurity where he hadn’t felt as if he belonged. And as if Harry was still the pitiful teenager, Louis had leaned over the small, rounded table to peck him swiftly on the cheek, muttering words of endearment to him.

Harry went on about how much Danny missed Louis and how he would definitely have to visit sometime. Louis said he would, but made no promises, just that he would try to come when he had free time. In all honesty, Louis wasn’t too fond of going back, not really having anything to return to, except Harry of course. If it weren’t for the way Harry’s eyes had lit up when Louis agreed to visit, Louis would have declined his offer.

Louis then brought up the letter because for some reason that had come to mind. He wouldn’t admit it, but he’d been thinking of what Harry had said ever since last night, which had led him to ask what Harry had added onto it. He even had to explain how he’d ripped up the letter before reading it and now regretted that more than anything. Harry just smiled and told him it wasn’t important. And that made Louis all the more curious.

The topic had somehow gone to Sean, and anxiety seeped through Louis as he struggled to formulate the words to explain it to Harry. He found himself speaking his mind and telling him that Sean was his boyfriend, and that they’d only been together two weeks, making sure to mention how he wasn’t even interested in the guy, which had been true the entire period they were dating. Louis simply hadn’t seen that there was a better option and lucky for him, that better option was sitting right across from him, nodding his head in understanding. Louis had assured him that he’d see to a breakup soon, not forgetting to imply that he was now seeing Harry. He wasn’t sure if simply saying “I’m seeing another guy, he’s got curly locks and the prettiest eyes” really made it clear that Louis was in fact interested in making whatever they had official, and as they left the café, Harry had thrown an arm over his shoulder, declaring, “Time to show off my man.”

They had walked to the nearest subway station, and Harry seemed thrilled by the way he was walking faster than the other boy, practically racing to get there. With his excitement Louis would have assumed Harry had never seen an underground train before in his life, but Harry told him otherwise, just that it had been too long. Inside the subway was unbelievably crowded, especially considering it was winter and most people preferred staying indoors. Nonetheless, Louis had let Harry have the only open seat and held onto a bar for balance. Then he’d grinned mischievously as he propped himself onto Harry’s lap as the train began to move. That lasted until they reached their next stop, and there was finally some empty seats. He had slid off and sat down beside Harry, setting an arm over his shoulder and leaning onto him. People were looking at them, some look disgusted, but that was probably because PDA wasn’t something everyone liked to see. And then there were others peeking at them briefly, smiling as if it had brightened their day to see such love between young people.

The excitement in Harry’s eyes was undeniable when they reached the Big Ben Station and stepped out to see the extravagant monument covered in snow. Louis had only seen the Big Ben in pictures and had been planning on coming to see it sometime with Sean but that never happened. Louis felt Harry’s hand over his as he was being dragged away. Surprisingly, it wasn’t too crowded, but it was also winter.

After taking as many pictures they possibly could – Louis had even set one of them as his wallpaper because, come on, Harry was absolutely gorgeous –, they rode the train to a different part of town, where Louis was planning to treat Harry for lunch. It was a simple diner, but Louis didn’t have the money to take them anywhere fancier, and he was sure Harry didn’t have much on him either.

Excited to eat lunch with Harry, he had felt a tug on his arm, holding him back from walking any further. He shot a frown at the boy, wondering why he had stopped. That was when Harry had informed him that he was staying with his friend here in London and had promised he’d return for lunch at the very least. Louis was curious and wanted to know more, wanted to know if his friend had somehow knew about Louis’ whereabouts and that that was how Harry had found out. But then again, the chances were very slim because Harry had to have known Louis would let him in and stay overnight, so perhaps Louis was over-thinking this.

And now here they were, resting their bodies on a bench while Harry pulled out his phone and called his friend. Louis tuned into the conversation, which had been fairly short, and after a few more minutes of blissful silence, Harry had stood up announcing that his friend – Liam was his name – would be expecting them shortly, and that was all it took for Louis to get up from his comfortable stance and follow his boyfriend (God, he loved using that term) to the edge of the street where they waited for a taxi.

Liam greeted them with a smile and when Louis introduced himself, he simply pointed out that he already knew who he was, that they attended Uni together. The news was shocking to him, since Louis had never seen this man before in his life. He was quite handsome and seemed very nice, he was surprised he hadn’t noticed him sooner. Apparently he and Harry had been best friends for years despite the fact that they hardly saw each other, which made Louis think of Zayn and immediately feel bad remembering how Zayn used to call him repeatedly but Louis had ignored him each time. He honestly wasn’t angry at all anymore, but of course time had caught up and it was too late to do anything to get their friendship back.

Liam ordered them a pizza while they chatted. Louis was actually quite tired of eating fast food but it wasn’t like he had expected a gourmet meal. For a while, Harry and Liam were talking and catching up on each other’s lives. Louis wasn’t really paying attention until it was brought to his attention that Harry was blushing and Liam was looking at Louis with a warm smile. Unaware of what they were discussing, probably him, Louis smiled back in hopes that it wasn’t too obvious his focus was elsewhere.

“Well I’m glad you two worked everything out,” Liam said before leaving to answer the door. It was about twenty minutes later, after some small talk and laughter over absolutely nothing, that Liam tossed the empty pizza box to the side and made himself comfortable on the sofa. “Weren’t you dating that bloke? What was his name, Sean?”

Louis drank his bottle of water and nodded his head, hating that Liam had brought it up. But wait… “How did you know?”

“Who doesn’t?” Liam said with a laugh. “Everybody thinks you make a cute couple.” He seemed to sense the awkward tension he’d created, and so he sighed and laughed it off. “I just hope he’ll be okay, y’know? When you break up with him.”

“He’ll be fine,” Louis assured him confidently, which he didn’t recognise at the time that he might have been too confident with his decision.

The next day, he and Harry said their goodbyes, promising to keep in touch as much as possible. Since Louis had changed his number, he texted it to Harry, that way they would never have to miss each other. And along with that, Louis also found himself promising he would visit soon. They kissed goodbye and went their separate ways.

Upon returning to the dormitory, he sent his boyfriend (he would never get tired of using that word, ever) a quick text saying that he missed him already, and then he grinned smugly when he received the response.

 

From: Harry (15:34)

I miss you more :(

 

Maybe it was a little too cute and fluffy for Louis’ taste, but hey, he was happy and that was all that mattered. He put his phone back into his pocket as he paced up the stairs, not wanting to attempt to walk and text. The minute he arrived at his dorm, Andy and Sean were sitting on his bed, laughing over something. As the door swung open, their eyes peeled away from each other and onto the boy stepping inside.

Sean was the first to greet him. “Hey.”

“Hey,” Louis waved, forcing a smile.

Sean returned his smile and got up from his bed. “Where were you all day?”

Louis wished he felt guilty, but he was too happy and he was sure his emotions were beaming to the surface. Without even thinking about what to say, he responded with, “Hanging out with an old friend.”

“Right!” Sean exclaimed, as if Andy had told him something he shouldn’t have. “What was his name? Harry?”

Louis instantly shot Andy a curious look, now almost positive Andy had told him. But then again, Sean wouldn’t be acting this cheerful if he knew. “Right…?”

“The guy in the picture, remember?”

“Oh! Yeah,” Louis laughed without any humour, running a hand through his feathery hair.

“So, I was thinking we could go out for lunch, yeah?”

“Thanks, but I already ate.”

“Oh.” Sean looked slightly disappointed, but that quickly faded. “Well how about we just go out then?”

“I’m really tired,” Louis told him, not completely lying. “I’ve been walking around all day.”

“Well I guess we can just hang out here.”

Louis shrugged, heading over to sit on the edge of his bed, grabbing bottled water from his mini-fridge on his way. He retrieved the remote which had somehow ended up on the ground, and turned on the telly, flipping endlessly through channels. He heard Sean and Andy whispering to each other and made no effort to eavesdrop.

“So how was it?” Sean finally asked, setting himself down next to Louis, who felt as if his lungs were constricted because there was no way Sean didn’t know now.

He frowned. “How was what?”

“Your day,” Sean clarified, chuckling.

“Oh,” Louis said with relief. “Fantastic. How was yours?”

“I just woke up an hour ago. That party killed me last night, you should’ve been there.”

Louis let out a laugh, knowing that was nothing compared to the night he’d shared with Harry. But, of course, Sean didn’t need to know about that. “Maybe next time.”

“So are you really tired?” Sean said in a protesting voice as he set a hand over Louis’ lap, causing a strange and uncomfortable feeling to pass through him. “’Cause I was hoping we could do a little somethin’ now that Andy’s gone.”

Louis’ eyes averted from Sean’s gaze to scan the room, realising that, as a matter of fact, they were alone. He didn’t even notice that Andy had left, weird. So Louis let out a breathless laugh, slowly and politely removing the other boy’s hand away. “Yeah, sorry. My body isn’t really up for that at the moment.” And again, Sean did not need to know why.

Surprisingly, Sean was okay with it. “Okay,” he said with a smile, leaning over to kiss him. Trying not to panic, Louis backed away carefully but not careful enough because he had fallen onto the ground a moment later. “Louis!” Sean cried out, helping him get up. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m perfect.”

“No, I mean are you really okay?” Sean asked once Louis had settled himself back on the bed. “You’re acting really weird.”

“I’m just tired, okay?” Louis didn’t mean to sound so snappy, but it seemed to just burst out of him.

“Just let me…” Sean tried to kiss him again, but this time Louis actually pushed him away, snapping his eyes shut with irritation.

“Stop.”

Sean grimaced, running a hand through his hair. “What’s your problem?”

“It’s just…” Louis began then sighed deeply, blinking a couple of times before facing the blonde-haired lad. “I’m sorry. I… I really need to tell you something.”

“Oh God.” Sean’s eyes darted to the ceiling and back at Louis, a worried look on his face. “You don’t have syphilis, do you?”

Louis laughed at that, though it didn’t really help with anything. “No, no sexually transmitted diseases. I just think,” he paused, staring at Sean and immediately sighing again, not sure if he could do this. “God, this is so hard. You’re a great guy, Sean, you really are. Don’t take this the wrong way, but-”

“You’re breaking up with me, aren’t you?”

“Yes,” he confirmed after a moment’s hesitation.

Sean backed away, staring at him expressionlessly. “Why?”

It took Louis a minute to formulate his words. He really wished he had thought this through, because here he was, staring off into space with absolutely no clue what to say to make this easier. “You deserve someone who can love you like you love them. And I can’t give you that.” It was a shitty excuse, Louis knew that, but it was the best he could do.

“That’s what they all say,” Sean said, rolling his eyes angrily. He obviously hadn’t bought it, not that Louis exactly expected him to. “There’s someone else, isn’t there?”

Louis didn’t say anything.

“There is. What’s his name?”

“That’s not important.”

“It’s Harry.” He said it as if he’d known it all along, and Louis started to wonder if he’d really been that obvious.

“N-no,” Louis denied, but he was sure the shakiness in his voice gave him away.

“Are you sure about that?” And when Louis didn’t answer, Sean stood up from the bed, walking away. Louis heard the sound of the door opening, followed by Sean saying softly, “See you around, Louis.” And then the door slammed shut, and silence intervened in the room, leaving Louis alone with his racing thoughts. He should have felt guilty, but he didn’t. He didn’t bother analysing whether that was good or bad when he pulled out his phone, his mood improving when he saw a text from the curly-headed boy. He hit ‘reply’ and began to type his response, smiling as he did it.

 

From: Louis (15:49)

I’m all yours now, babe :)


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Louis and Eleanor gave their baby up for adoption, they never expected the new parents to be two males. They also didn’t expect Louis to fall in love with one of them.

Three weeks later

 

It was a beautiful, sunny morning in England when Louis finally took Harry up on his offer to visit. Well, that wasn’t exactly it because Harry had called him beforehand insisting Louis came over today. Why he had been so rash in his decision was a mystery but he’d agreed nonetheless.

He was about halfway there, stopping to rest his eyes briefly, when his phone lit up with the messages he’d missed. Louis wasn’t one for answering his phone while driving considering how his uncle had been killed that way. And he definitely valued his life over a phone call or text.

The text was yet again another from Sean, begging to get back together, yada yada. He had even gone as far as blackmailing him at one point which was just childish and so stupid Louis couldn’t even bring himself to understand what he’d seen in the immature dickhead in the first place. Sean was harmless, of course, so nothing too terrible had happened.

He considered sending Harry a quick text to tell him he’d be there soon, but decided he wanted to surprise him instead. And with that satisfying decision, he clicked his keys into the ignition and continued to drive as the afternoon rolled by.

When Louis finally arrived, he knocked on the door and after waiting the longest five minutes of his life, he pressed his hands against the doorknob and broke into the house. He frowned, wondering why it was so dark inside and Harry was nowhere to be seen.

“Surprise!” The word echoed throughout the room as the lights flickered on. There were people everywhere, all smiling at him for some unknown reason. And what was even weirder, there were decorations covering the place as if this was some celebration.

“I’m flattered and all, but this isn’t my birthday,” Louis admitted, as a familiar brunette flew into his arms.

Eleanor pulled away, leaving her hands resting on his shoulders. “It’s Harry’s, but we’re also celebrating your return!” She grinned at him.

“I’m only visiting,” he assured her, laughing. “It’s good to see you, El.”

“You too.”

Then someone called out from the front door, “He’s coming!” And everyone fled to hide as the room went black again. When a shadow was illuminated with the background light, Louis could only determine that as Harry and shortly after, the lights proved him right and everyone shouted, “Surprise!” as he began laughing.

“What is this?”

“A surprise party,” Louis said with a smile. “Obviously.” Then he pressed his body to the other boy’s, rubbing circles into his back. He almost forgot how it felt to be this close to someone. And seeing those gorgeous, emerald eyes reminded him that the world really was a beautiful place. “I missed you so much, Haz,” he admitted, pecking a quick kiss to his cheek.

“I missed you too! When did you get here?”

“Just now. I wasn’t expecting this either,” Louis confessed, extending his arm behind his head to rub his neck. Then Harry grabbed hold of the hand resting to his side, and pulled him along.

“I guess this party’s for the both of us.” He squeezed their interlocked hands as they walked further into the house. Out of the corner of Louis’ eye, he spotted Zayn and Niall sitting on the couch, talking and laughing. His heart nearly skipped in his chest, afraid of how they would react from seeing him for the first time in a long time. Especially after all that shit that had went down.

Harry released their hands once they reached the two boys. “Look who stopped by.”

Niall and Zayn were still engaged in their conversation but it was Zayn who looked up first, smiling shyly at Louis.

Louis took the hint that he’d better initiate the conversation, since it was he who had started the tension in the first place. “Hey Zayn,” he tried to say as steadily as he could.

“Hey.” Surprisingly, Zayn looked and sounded quite humble, which eased the pressure on Louis a tad. “How’s London?”

“Exciting!” Louis’ response was automatic, and he felt it sounded a little fake. “But let’s be honest, it’s not quite the same as ol’ Doncaster.” He patted Zayn on the arm, trying to make things more comfortable for them both. “I missed you, man. Oh and I’m sorry it took me so long to get back to you. Things were… complicated.”

“I totally understand.” Zayn nodded his head agreeably. “I’ve been a bit preoccupied myself.” He shot a grin at Niall, and they both proceeded to hold hands. “Speaking of which,” he continued, “where’s Eleanor? We have something to tell you.”

“She ran off to get the cake,” Niall explained as if it was the most important matter. “I think.”

“Cake?” Harry pondered in amusement, smirking. “I wonder what that’s for.”

Louis rested his elbow on Harry’s shoulder, letting his eyes waver over the side of his face. “I can’t believe you’re turning twenty-three today. You’re getting so old,” he teased, running his fingers over Harry’s face until he was pinching his cheeks.

“Shut it.” Harry flicked him in the forehead. “Anyway, do you wanna see Danny?”

“Yes!” Louis gushed with excitement. He hadn’t seen his son in months and he was already beaming with anticipation at the realisation that Danny’s probably grown a lot since the last time he saw him.

“Well too bad,” Harry laughed, shooting his hopes down. “Mum’s out with him at the moment. You’re going to have to wait.”

Niall pointed towards the other direction. “Oh, there she is!”

Louis’ head turned around, expectantly watching for any sign of Anne, but all he could see was Eleanor approaching them.

“Eleanor! Over here!”

“What’s up, boys?” She gestured for Zayn to move over and once she had some space to sit, she squeezed in between the two boys who looked slightly disappointed from separation.

“Don’t you have something to tell Lou?”

“Right,” Eleanor confirmed with a nod. She then smiled, patting her hands over her stomach suggestively.

“Stop doing that and tell me!” Louis demanded, getting tired of the suspense.

Eleanor took a deep breath before blurting it out. “I’m pregnant.”

“What?” Louis nearly gasped, finding it hard to believe that after all they’ve been through, Eleanor had repeated the foolish mistake. Honestly, how could she be so irresponsible?

“Now don’t get your knackers in a twist.” She threw her hands in the air, assuring him that this wasn’t a big deal, when it clearly was. “I’m only a surrogate.”

“Oh.” Louis’ expression softened as he let out a small laugh of relief. He smiled, refocusing his attention on the current situation. “So who took the wank?”

“I did,” Zayn affirmed, tossing both of his arms over the people beside him. “Figured since we’re close, we might as well put it to use.”

The Irishman chimed in, “Plus I’m feeling a lack of baby in my life, ever since Harry took Danny out of my hands.” Louis glanced over to see that Harry’s expression was completely unfazed. “No hard feelings, eh, mate?”

“Of course.”

He continued to speak. “And Eleanor was kind enough to carry little ol’ Gabriel, so-”

“Whoa there,” Zayn interrupted him. “We don’t even know if it’s gonna be a boy or a girl.”

Niall shrugged, patting a hand over Zayn’s dark hair, grinning at him cheekily. “Then it can be Gabriella.”

Louis found himself chuckling at their exchange of words, knowing they were going to make great parents. “Well I’m happy for you guys.” He glanced back at Zayn, eyeing him carefully. “I really am. And please disregard all those things I said before.”

“Don’t stress, Lou. That’s in the past,” the dark-haired boy assured him, and Louis was suddenly nodding in agreement.

“You’re right.” After all, no matter what happened, Zayn and Louis would always be best friends in the end.

Then Harry’s attention went towards the front door, where Louis spotted Liam walking inside the house with a female clinging onto his arm. She was quite lovely, tanned skin with very curly, brown hair. Harry immediately ran to the door and Louis followed behind him, not entirely excited to see Liam since they saw each other enough already at Uni.

“I thought you forgot about me!” Harry exclaimed, pulling his friend into a hug. 

“I could never forget my best friend,” Liam assured him, grinning cheekily as he pinched his cheeks which were starting to turn red. “Harry, this is my girlfriend Danielle. Danielle, Harry.”

They shook hands and Harry smiled after nodding. “Thanks for coming. This is my boyfriend, Louis.”

Louis grinned at them both, as if he was being introduced to the two of them which obviously wasn’t the case. He waved at them right before he made a dash for the bathroom, remembering that he hadn’t relieved himself all day. When he returned, everyone was greeting Anne at the door.

He made his way into the living room and the second he locked eyes with her, she ran to him, pulling him into the tightest embrace. When Louis finally brought himself away, demanding that he needed to breathe to live, Anne just smiled at him as if she couldn’t believe he was really here.

“I was only gone for a few months.” Louis rolled his eyes after informing her of how ridiculous she was acting. It seemed that even after all this time, he still looked to Anne as a mother.

“A few months is a long time, mister! I ought to slap you for leaving in the first place!” She scolded him, though she looked far from upset.

“What, no ‘Lou, I’m so proud of you’? I left to get an education, in case you forgot that.”

“Lou, I’m so proud of you,” she said after narrowing her eyes. “I really am, love. I just hope you visit more often. Harry misses you a lot, you know.”

“I know,” Louis replied, then flashed her a smirk. “I promise you he won’t have to any longer.”

“Oh? Why is that?”

He pressed a finger to his lips, indicating that it was a secret. And if it was one thing he learned in the school of arts, it was that the dramatic exit was always beneficial, and so Louis found himself skipping towards Harry, bringing his arms over his shoulders, hugging him from behind.

“Oh, hey.” Harry’s face lit up when he looked back at Louis, who was smiling at him like an idiot.

“So…” he drawled, dragging his voice. “I’ve got something to tell you.”

“Okay, hold on.” Harry wagged a finger in his face as he ran off to the kitchen to, presumably, cut the cake. Louis followed him like a lost puppy, watching as Harry took a knife from the kitchen counter and stood in front of the cake, ready to put it to its misery.

Once Anne was standing on the opposite side, holding a camera to their faces, Louis patted his boyfriend on the back encouragingly. “Smile, Haz!”

The picture snapped, the flash nearly blinding the younger boy. He retracted his body away from the cake, rubbing his eyes and trying to get rid of the darkening effect. Then it was to his surprise to see Niall popping in between them to get to the cake. He coated his finger with some of the frosting and popped it into his mouth, licking it off.

“Damn it, Niall!” Zayn’s voice bellowed from behind. “Can’t you wait?”

A light blush made its way to Niall’s face as he backed away slowly. “Sorry…”

Harry cut right down the middle, which had originally read “Happy birthday, Hazza” (courtesy of his mum, by the way), and after Harry and Louis retrieved their slices, they made themselves comfortable on the stools in the kitchen.

“Now,” Harry began to say after swallowing his first bite, “what did you need to tell me?”

“Oh yeah. Well, I know it’s short notice and all but I managed to pitch in and buy a flat in London.”

“Needed to get away from Andy, eh?” Harry joked with a mouthful of cake, smirking giddily at him. 

“Would you let me finish?” Louis waited until the room became more quiet before continuing. “As I was saying, I bought a flat. It was cheap, but it’s a start.” Harry simply frowned in bemusement and that Louis’ cue to keep talking. “I figured we can’t keep going on like this, going back and forth and trying to keep in touch through phone conversations,” he explained thoroughly, then stared into Harry’s bright green orbs with downright seriousness.

“Harry.” He found it absolutely difficult not to smile at this point. “How would you feel about living together?”

Harry took a sip of his punch, surprisingly not looking too interested. “You’re not just messing with me, right?”

“Of course not.”

Louis could see that Harry was smiling, though it was pretty evident he was trying to hide it. “This is just so sudden, I don’t know if I can just leave…”

“You can always visit, it’s not like you’re moving to some foreign country. It’s only three hours away.” The feather-haired lad grabbed onto both of his hands reassuringly.

“But what about Danny?”

“What about Danny? We’re not just going to leave him with your mum. Danny needs parents.” Louis smiled softly, “He needs us.” Then Harry pressed their lips together and after about fifteen seconds of simple kissing, Louis’ smile was still enfolding when he asked, “Is that a yes?”

Harry smirked, as if he were playing hard to get. “It’s a maybe.”

The guests left after a couple of hours, which wasn’t surprising in the least. It was a birthday party, after all. Louis hadn’t expected it to go on to the point where people literally got shitfaced. And maybe it was better that way.

Harry and Louis were alone now, without even Anne to bother them. Louis suspected she’d left to give them some time alone, which he didn’t mind in the slightest. However, he was surprised that their other friends had rushed out of there so fast.

A memory rushed into Louis’ mind, and he was grinning so brightly he was afraid his cheeks would fall off. When Harry had looked at him in puzzlement, he could only stare back, still smiling. “Remember exactly a year ago when I said we should hang out and watch a movie? On the Ferris wheel?”

Harry nodded after a moment, smiling for some reason.

“Well how about now?”

“Sounds tempting…” Harry said in agreement. “But what about that birthday sex you promised?”

Louis grinned cheekily, remembering that promise. “Later.”

As Bambi played on the plasma screen, the two of them were sitting on the ground, gathered around the infant, watching him play with his toys and make muffled noises as he pranced around them. The movie had been going on for about half an hour, but their only focus was on Danny. And making out and cuddling every now and then, of course.

“Since when can he walk?” Louis wondered out loud, sadness hurling over him when he realised he’d missed his own son’s first steps.

“A few months ago. I got it on tape, don’t worry. You didn’t miss too much,” Harry grinned at him, pulling his arms out to grab Danny. “Have I ever told you how much he looks like you?”

“Only a million times.” It was true, though. The more the infant had grown, the more he resembled Louis and Eleanor, except that Danny looked more like Louis, but maybe that was only his biased opinion.

“Well he does,” the curly-haired lad evaluated, pressing a kiss to Danny’s temples. “You’re gonna be a lady’s man!” He gushed out, causing the infant to giggle brightly. “Aren’t you, you little rascal! Can you say Hazza?” Louis laughed hysterically at that. “How about Louis?”

“Woo… Looo… ehh!” the infant spouted out with a fit of giggles, causing Louis’ smile to widen, feeling so mushy inside from hearing his son speak.

“You are the perfect father, love.” Louis was teasing him, but of course, there was truth in what he said.

He could make out a bit of mumbling and it sounded kind of like, “Perfect fathers…”

Louis’ head perked up, having a vague idea that Harry had said what he thought he said. “What was that?”

“Yes,” Harry suddenly said.

“What?”

“I said yes.”

“Yes to what?” Louis looked up at Harry who was giving him a dumbfounded look and that was all it took for him to understand. “Say it.”

Harry pulled him close with Danny still in his arms. He threw his arm over the other boy, almost as if a picture was about to be taken. And as he spoke, the moment was caught into a picture frame, frozen and locked in their memories forever.

“Yes, we can live together.”


	17. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Louis and Eleanor gave their baby up for adoption, they never expected the new parents to be two males. They also didn’t expect Louis to fall in love with one of them.

**Dear Louis,**

**Remember many years ago how you wrote me a letter? Yeah, well looks like it's my turn to return the favour. I know this is pointless and all since you’re only out to get groceries. So disregard the fact that this sounds like you’ve died or something. And just like old times, let’s pretend you won’t read this when you’re probably going to walk in while I’m writing this. Of course I’ll just tackle you for it and win like I always do so don’t even bother.**

**Louis, Louis, Louis. Lou-Lou. BooBear. Loueh. Lewis. (Just kidding about that last one.) Those are my nicknames for you, babycakes.**

**I remember it like it was yesterday we exchanged vows. It was a beautiful wedding, wasn't it Lou? We had Niall and Zayn as the best men and Daniel as the ring bearer. Even at five years old, he seemed to know what he was doing. It’s hard to believe he’s already getting married! Lacey is a lovely girl, she is absolutely perfect for him. As for Darcy, she starts college in the fall! Can you believe it? Our daughter has grown up so fast!**

**Gabriel and Danny have really hit it off. They’re so close that Danny even wants him as his best man. He really resembles his father, he's practically Zayn's clone! Well except for the attributes he got from Eleanor. Speaking of which, I think she’s finally found true love. Cue dramatic music here. Remember that bloke at the fair many years ago? His name's Sam and they just got together last week. Talk about impeccable timing! I’m sure you’ll give her shit for it later.**

**So I don't exactly know why I'm writing this, probably to get all our memories down on paper. Except that isn’t exactly necessary. Our scrapbook has enough, don’t you think? (Nope.)**

**I love that out of the few places we could have gotten married, we picked Spain. Remember on our honeymoon when we tried to order room service at our hotel but nobody spoke English? Maybe if gay marriage was legalised in France, we could have gone there and understood a few words but it was great anyway, call me a sap, maybe that's cause you were there. Remember how on the third night we promised to love each other forever and always? Maybe that was after we had the best sex of our lives and it was just our hormones talking, but you know what, I’ve kept that promise and I know you have.**

**I'll be turning fifty in about a month. Is it supposed to feel that awful? I feel like my childhood's been stolen from me, my entire youth. Which isn’t true, but still. I’m getting old…**

**I'm sorry about that. This is supposed to sound happy. Lucky for you I’m trying not to look like an old man since you could come home at any time but that’s a little hard to do with all these photo albums around me. Like right now I'm staring at a picture of us with Danny on his second birthday. That was a good day. I remember Danny cried the whole day as if he was totally clueless that we were celebrating for him. I can tell you this, he hasn't changed since. I still see him as my baby boy - our baby boy. Not that he still bursts into hysterics when he doesn’t get his way, but you know what I mean.**

**The picture I’m looking at is making me smile like an idiot. I remember we took this one the day we moved in together. It was a small, yet cozy flat, the first of many I might add. It takes time to build up to the bigger flats, much like the one we share now. I love how we made it even homier by fucking in every room, but maybe that was just an excuse to have sex all the time which I have no problem with.**

**Speaking of which, you wanna know what's really depressing? (No, Haz.) My sex drive. Do you even want to know how much Viagra I've had to take just to have a wank? I'm not even giving you a number because it's that embarrassing. I'm not even that old for God's sake! I blame you for being too wrapped up in work to fuck me senseless, you sassy drama teacher you.**

**Oh! Remember Sean? Hahaha. I love how he tried to start a fight with me after the breakup. I remember I was just walking up to your dorm and he nearly knocked me down the stairs. Damn, that boy had some real anger issues. Especially since you were only dating for, what, two weeks? Some people can get clingy fast! I’ll never forget about those stitches and the pain. And then how he showed up the hospital with roses and balloons. I have to admit, he did seem nice for a minute until he was begging you for forgiveness. I mean, please. Did he really think he could buy the relationship back? What were you thinking, Lou? Dating that dickface? The world may never know. I wonder where he is now, actually. Probably living at his mum’s house. Okay let’s pretend I didn’t live with my mum when I was in my twenties, okay. I am not being a hypocrite here.**

**I just passed a picture where you died your hair purple at that one point. Haha, oh dear. That was a fun twenty-four hours. Don’t look at me like that! I wasn’t going to let you leave the house looking like some clown! (Even though you already are, but you’re my clown.)**

**Wrapping this up now, my hand hurts like a bloody bitch… (No, I did not just imply a dog covered in blood.)**

**I know nothing lasts forever and it kills me to know that there’s something inside you that’s slowly eating you away. The doctors had you under radiation, and they said it would clear up and now we’re just hoping for the best. When our children found out, they weren’t so pleased either but please know that we’re here to support you no matter what happens.**

**In the twenty-two years we spent together, I believe I - we did more than anyone could in a lifetime. The places we've traveled, the experiences we shared, just everything was extraordinary and I wouldn't have had it any other way. I-**

"Harry! Ryan's gonna fall asleep if you don't hurry up!"

Harry glanced over his sheet of paper to look at his son as he held a hand in the air, gesturing him to wait.

**I'll make this quick. You see, I read bedtime stories to our grandson every night, but you already knew that. He's only a year old but God, he reminds me so much of Danny.**

**So I've said this before and I'm saying this now. I love you, Louis. Does that word seem overused? Too clichéd? I don’t care. I love you more than anything on this earth and beyond. I love you always and forever. I love you so, so much. And nothing will ever change that. Remember you promised nothing could ever come between us? Well you were right. Not even something as big as the big C can ruin what we have. And hopefully this letter will convince you completely.**

**With endless words to describe love and everything else you make me feel,**

**Harry Styles-Tomlinson x**

**P.S. Twenty-two years ago, you asked me what I left on your letter. I'll give you a hint, as long as you promise you won’t ask me for further explanation.**

**It had to do with how much I love you.**


End file.
